Cheese, if you get yourself along to Audi Driver International at Combe this year there were a few places selling rims, one had two sets of anthracite RS style wheels (one set from a TT, not RS so were 8.5J).
We were looking ahead of getting the new car, but with the car being black it was hard to know which wheels to choose when you're not going for the normal hyper silver. We didn't want the murder look (too black) but couldn't tell if the car would look too flat all black / anthracite without a bit of contrast in the colour palette, TBH all I knew I wanted it as OEM as possible. Poor old N8 had to put up with loads of questions and indecision (on my behalf over the months I was trying to choose!)
As I didn't have the car to hand I was having to take photos of the wheels I saw then come home and chop them onto black cars and even then it wasn't ideal. I started looking in August 2011, and finally got some wheels in January 2012 (so it took time, patience and I was often full of self doubt as when your spending dollar you want to get it right). In the end I ended up paying a bit more than my budget for our RS3's, but as they're easy to clean, they look pretty reasonable and they're beautifully made there are some boxes ticked. Also our local dealer won't even notice they're modified when I go back for warranty work!
Don't beat yourself up about struggling with the decision, buy when you're absolutely comfortable you are making the right decision. I wanted to do it early so I had the benefit of them right across the ownership window, hence why I've rushed to get all the mods done in the first 3-6 months.
Best of luck mate, it ain't easy!