I absolutely agree it causes wear, but I've put 20,000km on it so far and I haven't noticed any ill effects. Yet.
I do baby it more than most (I turn off the haldex pump via relay attached to handbrake light), and I always remember to switch off before u-turns or when parking anywhere and I know I'll be steering alot. I'm sure this plays a positive part in the damage the plug will eventually cause.
And to be completely honest... I'm waiting till my Haldex blows ($150 repair over here) and then just installing a proper controller. The plug should never be thought of as a permanent fix, in my opinion.
You mentioned HPA as a new source for controllers as well as "others". Can you share some links?