Never trust a Smartie

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A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.
After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?"

The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre; I always end up getting my head kicked in."
So Smartie says, "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you."

Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.
The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking bottles over his little jelly
head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh.

After a while they get bored and walk out.

Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me."

Smartie looks at Jelly Baby and says...........


"I was! But those Lockets are f***ing menthol"
 
Haha reminded me if this one:::

Theres been a fight in the biscuit tin. A lad called Rocky, hit a Penguin over the head with a Club, tied him to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Ribbon and made his Breakaway in a Taxi. Police say Rocky was last seen just After Eight by a Viscount from Maryland, Hobnobbing with a Ginger Nut and an accomplice, only known to the police as Rich T. Unfortunately they dont have a crumb of evidence, so the Jammie Dodger might get away with it :O
 

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