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Thread: Divorce

  1. #1
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    Divorce

    How do you tell your wife you want a divorce ?

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    Serious question.

    Cheers

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    Onlyme's Avatar
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    just walk through the front door and shout " Hi honey im home, now go and pack your bags as theres football on tonight & by the way im divorcing you ". make sure though that she has put your meal on the table and that she has placed your slippers on your feet first before telling her

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    Quote Originally Posted by auroan
    How do you tell your wife you want a divorce ?

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    Serious question.

    Cheers
    Pointless beating around the bush dude. If its going nowhere you NEED to just tell her

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    At least tell your other half it's you and not her, better to let her down gentley than with a bump, but the word divorce is quite heavy!

    Goodluck mate.



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    As above and on a practical note try and keep things amicable if possible as if it turns nasty the only winners are the solicitors.
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    I'm happy walking away from everything...... she can have the lot, the house, car, everything apart from the dogs.

    Just need to figure out how to do it.

  8. #7
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    E-mail her a link to this topic?

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    There must be a reason you feel this way, just tell her what that is.
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    Its probably easier and cheaper to try and repair a marriage than end it, dont really know the details of it all but unless shes been a naughty girl or you have someone else in mind in the long term you might re-educating her i.e. hint at her getting down the gym, letting you go out whenever, agreeing on a deposite for that new S3 etc etc
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onlyme
    just walk through the front door and shout " Hi honey im home, now go and pack your bags as theres football on tonight & by the way im divorcing you ". make sure though that she has put your meal on the table and that she has placed your slippers on your feet first before telling her
    Reminds me of a Joke:

    Man wins lottery and goes home to his wife:
    Man: "Honey, I've won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
    Wife: "Wow, where are we going?"
    Man: "Nowhere, just pack your bags and get out"

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    Its going to be hard to tell her no matter what, but the longer you leave it the more it will hurt her as im sure she will ask you so when did you decide etc etc and its best not to say ive been thinking about it the last year, as you have then just wasted a year of her life when she could have been moving on and that wont go down well.
    Do you have kids?
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    I'm loving the balance of funny responses to serious ones.....what a great bunch we are on here.
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    What's the point in getting married if there's no commitment? you're supposed to work things out if its gone wrong. Once you've said your vows, you're supposed to stick together through thick and thin.

    That's why people marry isn't it? they love each other? What's gone wrong? go get some counselling.
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    Thats a bit harsh and holier than thou.You and everyone else on this forum don't know the circumstances involved.
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    I agree with Motorbikez - no one else here knows the circumstances, and therefore we should at least try and stick to answering the question.

    But, having said that I would recommend counselling - although it didn't work for me, I can see that it would work for a lot of other couples.

    If there is absolutely no way that the relationship is going to work, then tell her you want to talk to her, she will probably guess at what it's about if things having been going wrong for a while anyway. Then, ask her how she feels about your relationship and where its going etc and take it from there.

    I can give you a little advice though:

    1) Do not just follow the "walk away and give her everything" - you worked together to get the things you have now, and therefore they should be split accordingly. It costs as much, and takes as long to give it all to her as divide it up so make sure you don't screw yourself.
    (Unless you have kids, then you have to ensure they are housed etc which normally means letting her have access to the family home)

    2) Do not buy ANYTHING (property, cars etc) until you are fully divorced. Whatever you buy she can claim 1/2 of until you get the paperwork through the door.

    Hope it all works out for you - make sure you have plenty of friends around, you are going to need them.
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    Time to start shifting funds out the joint bank account. If you need any financial advice just pipe up, I can help with Mortgages etc.
    Also remove any expensive or favourite items of clothing from the wardrobe, and park your car elsewhere. Usual targets for a spurned woman! If you have a dog, kennel him!!
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    I am in the middle of divorcing, and we literly sat down and had a conversation about it.

    We admitted we were together out of habit than love and i moved out. I too was happy for her to have the lot.Only she couldnt afford to keep the house on,i paid her a lump sum then to re locate and i have taken the house back on myself.
    I see the kids when ever i want,and still talk to her .

    It didnt start like that, she took it really bad to start with but came round with time
    HTH

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    Agree with Spence could of not said it better ...I went through the same thing 4 years ago and there was a child involved which made it very hard .staying together for the wrong reasons!!
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    I told my first wife exactly like this...

    About a year building upto this moment, we basically led seperate lives, she worked shifts, didn't like my firends, and i knew this had no future, and there was no love on my side....

    So she went on holiday with her mum abroad, i was invited, but kindly declined. I decided this would be an excellent opportunity to finally move out and make the spilt. So all my clothes, hifi, cd's, gear etc made a quick move elsewhere. Obviosuly i left the washing machine and the c/htg boiler.

    The day arrived for me to pick them up from the airport, the drive home is pleasent, with us exchanging casual conversation. I drop the (ex)mother in law home. We finally arrive home, we get inside the house, and she puts two and two together and says "Whats going on?", i basically look her in the eye and say "I'm leaving you". I then left.

    Then went to the local for a few stiff drinks with a some close friends who didn't believe me, but that is how it happened.

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  21. #20
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    Does she still speak to you TDI
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rev-head
    Does she still speak to you TDI
    Hell no. Don't know or care where she is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TDI-line
    Hell no. Don't know or care where she is.
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  24. #23
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    Good luck not easy thing to do...
    is she happy with everything? or does she suspect anything?

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    Sorry for being harsh.

    I'm newly divorced. My decree absolute arrived in August. Maybe my assumptions on marriage is all wrong.

    Sorry
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  26. #25
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    just be sure it is what you want once you go down your chosen path there may be no turning back.

    Often a small break on your own can help clear your head, ive often wondered how I got together with my wife then on the occasional nights away from her I realise I wouldn`t be without her.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ming Blue
    Sorry for being harsh.

    I'm newly divorced. My decree absolute arrived in August. Maybe my assumptions on marriage is all wrong.

    Sorry
    sorry to hear that MingBlue how long was you married for

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  28. #27
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    ouch - this is heavy stuff. Sorry to hear about all your troubles guys - I guess sometimes life doesn't go as smoothly as planned and you just have to make the most of what you've got and where you are...then move on with as little pain as poss?
    All particulary interesting since I'm getting hitched in 2 months and having the jitters!

  29. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by liy6ml1
    All particulary interesting since I'm getting hitched in 2 months and having the jitters!
    Don't worry, you will be fine, the night before your big day, you will go through a confusing stage of wether you want it or not etc., just ride it and you'll be fine, and most of all Happy!



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  30. #29
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    Thanks for the advice and viewpoints. We'll see what happens.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ming Blue
    What's the point in getting married if there's no commitment? you're supposed to work things out if its gone wrong. Once you've said your vows, you're supposed to stick together through thick and thin.

    That's why people marry isn't it? they love each other? What's gone wrong? go get some counselling.
    I don't think Mings comment was harsh and out of order. Your right we don't know the whole story and seeing as there is only one party that is involved on here I doubt we ever will.

    But what Mings said is true marriage is somemthing that needs to be worked on, it does take commitment.

    Perhaps this has happened perhaps not.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jojo
    Don't worry, you will be fine, the night before your big day, you will go through a confusing stage of wether you want it or not etc., just ride it and you'll be fine, and most of all Happy!
    Oh yes how true! I was fine about getting married, no second thoughts, didn;t get nervous. Went out for a quiet one o the friday night, decided to be sensible and have an earlyish night. It wasn't until I had been dropped off home and I sat down in the lounge that it suddenly hit me! I was getting married the next day...
    Married and blonde yes, but still a guy with a poor taste in usernames!

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  33. #32
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    i wrote my speach on the morning of the weding then never used it, just ad libbed. only nerves I had was getting up in front of all the family to talk ..........
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    Quote Originally Posted by marriedblonde
    I don't think Mings comment was harsh and out of order. Your right we don't know the whole story and seeing as there is only one party that is involved on here I doubt we ever will.

    But what Mings said is true marriage is somemthing that needs to be worked on, it does take commitment.

    Perhaps this has happened perhaps not.
    Correct... just want advice on how to approach the subject..... the reasons behind it are between me and the wife.

  35. #34
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    I am married for the 2nd time. The first husband left me with no word of warning and I did not know where he was or why he had gone. 3wks later I found him in the arms of another woman.
    The point I would like to make is that you need to be honest with her right now. Whatever your reason for wanting a divorce, please be honest with her. I was hurt as I really did not know where he was and if he was safe etc .
    It is not an easy thing to go through, regardless of the situation but communication and honesty is vital. She will thank you for it one day.
    It took me a long time to get over it and it did not help that it took 6 years for him to actually talk to me properly. This happened in 1998 and it was 2004 when I really got an explanation, an apology and him deciding that he had not done the right thing.
    Good luck and be happy!
    Last edited by Tonya Rosey; 18th October 2007 at 09:46.
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  36. #35
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    We sat down last night and talked........ both ended up in bits. Thanks for the advice people.

  37. #36
    Yeee-haw
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    Well done, I guess.... it must feel like a relief to have done it at least.

  38. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by auroan
    We sat down last night and talked........ both ended up in bits. Thanks for the advice people.
    Hope everything works out for you.



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  39. #38
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    good on you mate hope everything went well or the way you wanted!

  40. #39
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    Your a brave man Auroan.

    Good luck.

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  41. #40
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    yeah, I was more scared about talking to her than I was driving a truck through Basra during a violent riot.

 

 
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