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  1. #1
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    Subject: Match report - Chelsea vs Manchester United

    As per the title, my boss went to see the match last night. He was a guest so was in one of the executive boxes. Lucky beggar!!

    A bit of background...

    1) He hates football
    2) He know nothing about football
    3) He's posh


    Anyway, here's the email he sent this morning to one of our colleagues in China who is a die hard United fan:




    Subject: Match report - Chelsea vs Manchester United

    I went to the stadium in my own private train with about 20,000 of my mates, so I was warm, which was a blessing in this weather.

    They seemed to be expecting me.


    We had a very nice meal (cold and hot buffet) and wine, champagne etc.


    The other 40,000 guests stood outside, so I suppose they'd already eaten before they came.


    In the interval between courses some chaps kicked a ball around by way of light relief.


    There were chaps in red shirts and chaps in blue shirts. They had numbers on their shirts. This is so if they get lost the police know where to take them home.


    A nice young man with premature baldness called Rooney scored a goal and everyone booed. I understand that he's married to that Colleen Rooney who designs dresses. He'll just have to get used to being associated with someone famous.


    Then we had some pudding, which was nice.


    While they cleared away the plates and so on, the lads kicked the ball around again.
    A Spanish boy called, I think, Luiz scored for the blue shirts. I don't know why he needs to work here, but I believe that in Spain the unemployment problem is even worse than in England. I'm sure he's very good to his mother.

    Then there was some kind of fight, and they stopped playing and did kicking practice. A chap called Lampard showed everyone how to do it. The ball went into the net and then the man in charge said they had to go on with the game.

    It was very cold and all the other guests did calisthenics and group singing to keep the blood flowing.

    Then we had coffee and sandwiches, which was a slight anticlimax. Then we went home.




    Maybe you need to know him to find it as funny as we did. I think it's because we know how unimpressed he was by the whole thing.

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  3. #2
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    Defo worth the wait :)

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    LOL....unbelievable, but ive actually worked with someone like that and can totally believe it!

  4. #3
    *Müllërz's Avatar
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    Yea I had a boss like that. All did Kicking practice, wen only lampard took the penalty. Is he into golf and cricket? Or is he just not into sport altogether
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  5. #4
    missviper's Avatar
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    just typical i would do anything well almost for tickets like that

 

 

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