Women!!!

[Oranoco]

Mate you seriously need to stand back and look at this from a distance. I tolerated a bad relationship and lost touch with a lot of my female friends as she was so insecure about me having them. I loved her very much and the thought of playing away never entered my mind and I declined an invitation that could never have been found out. Have to laugh at the irony that it was then her that fooled about and destroyed things. I will NOT do it again!. The fact you're posting this on here would indicate that I think you know the answer and just want it confirming. A relationship must have trust both ways or there is nothing.

 

[Lings]

Ok i had a woman like this before and it turned out she was a bad cheat on me ...Maybe shes acting like this because when she with her male friends she cheats? perhaps thats the reason she goes OTT when your seeing your friends. she thinks your the same .IMO the signs are there already your life partner comes before anyone .i think you should rethink moving in together .be careful in anycase .

 

[Turkster]

so there it all is, the signs are there to warn you !

 

[N8]

^!

 

[BigBird]

Some tough calls there guys...

Could be time for a quote from my Yoda like mate that just keeps giving, coz it's so true:

"Women are on Continental voltage - just wired up differently..."

 

[Sarah's A3]

Thanks for the comments guys

Sometimes i do just wanna cut the cord and be done with it all, but at the same time i do love her dearly and 95% of the time we get along extremely well

I just wish you could of seen her last night though. She turned into a complete psycho to the point where i had to walk out of my own flat because she was throwing things at me and hitting me. She grabbed my keys before i had a chance to but i still went down the road to a mates house.

Then i got abusive texts and shes saying stupid stuff like i'm going home (to Beford, about 80miles away) with your keys and your work laptop. That's the sort of snide, pathetic person that she can be. If she doesn't get her own way, she'll just make life harder for me

So i'm stuck tbh. I love her and do see a future, but at the same time i don't want someone who is going to be controlling who i can and cannot see. I don't ever stop her from going out to see people, be it male or female. So why should she be able to control what i do?

Jord,

Read this a couple of times. Obviously we are reading your take on it and its hard to get it from both sides, but did you ever stop to ask her why she feels this way? Is it her past experiences? Is it the way you behave or react when she asks you things? Its a real shame that she gets so upset she reacts the way you say and if there is a way for you both to over come it, try to find it. She seems from what you have said to have low confidence, maybe something you could work on, just a thought.

That goes both ways too, but a gentle reminder to us men is always good,

You are right but not many would admit it! But thats the whole point a few of us on here are making, having a soul mate doesnt need working at, its not a daily chore to get along, you just fit. If there is serious arguing as described above then it doesnt really make for a happy life eh! Not saying life should be a fairytale bed of roses but deep down you know if its right or not.

 

[L1 HCS]

You've been with your Mrs for 18 months... and you're wondering what the problems are.. lets see

Your Mrs wants you to be with her, but you'd rather be with your (girl)friends. Doesn't that ring alarm bells - it's probably ringing in her head and you've made her insecure.

You '****/shower/shave get all 'dolled up' not for her, but to go out for another woman.

You give her a reason to lose confidence/self esteem cos you are in effect seeing other women. She doesn't like it cos she doesn't know who they are. Why should she trust you?

Your Mrs should take a chill pill tho.

 

[Turkster]

You are right but not many would admit it! But thats the whole point a few of us on here are making, having a soul mate doesnt need working at, its not a daily chore to get along, you just fit. If there is serious arguing as described above then it doesnt really make for a happy life eh! Not saying life should be a fairytale bed of roses but deep down you know if its right or not.

I do enjoy your voice of reason, Its always good to get a level headed female side on these kind of things, Us men, normally get told off for nothing, yer doing nothing and wondering why we get told off, or making promises that don't keep to the time schedule, "i promise to fix that love" and then you get a bollocking for not fixing it in the time that no-body agreed on,

My way of stopping fights (not punch ups) and slagging matches is to just out-right agree with every thing she says, even if its wrong, "er yes love your compleatly right and Im a total waste of space at the best of times" and everything else "yep your right again, Im ashamed of my own actions" that normally stops all the frustration dead in its tracks, I'v learnt not to bite at my wife's red hot Mediterranean blooded short fuse, After all I am a Gentleman on the Square,

 

[Ads]

Us men, normally get told off for nothing

THIS is so true!!!

I got "told off" last night. Why??? Because I didn't have my daughter's spelling test words stored in my phone!!

It went something like this:

Me - *eating my dinner*
Missus - (to my daughter) Right, time to practice your spelling test words.
Missus - (to me) Have you got the words in your phone?
Me - No.
Missus - Oh right.
Me - Even if I did how am I going to start calling out the spelling words now?? I'm eating my dinner.
Missus - Right.
Me - Look, if you've got something to say.. say it! Don't beat around the bush with your questions.
Missus - Whatever.
Me - You just want to make an issue about me not having the words in my phone.
Missus - Don't you think you should have them???
Me - You're complaining about something that doesn't even make sense. What benefit is there in having these words in my phone? They're all written down in her book.... If I need them I can get them from there. Just because you've decided to put them in your phone doesn't mean I have to. Do you think that all the other parents have the spellings in their phones?
Missus - Maybe not, but I bet their kids don't get full marks in every spelling test!
Me - So our child only gets full marks in the test because you put the spellings in your phone?
Missus - You tell me!



This happened at about 7pm last night and her bad mood was still there when I left for work this morning.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeezus!!

 

[crazy88]

Women can't keep promises either though! I've been on the promise so many times and it's not come good! I don't know how many times she wants to wash her hair.

But it's different when they break the promise...theyre allowed to. Having said that, I was on the promise last night and succeeded. Hurrah.

 

[Welly]

THIS is so true!!!

I got "told off" last night. Why??? Because I didn't have my daughter's spelling test words stored in my phone!!

It went something like this:

Me - *eating my dinner*
Missus - (to my daughter) Right, time to practice your spelling test words.
Missus - (to me) Have you got the words in your phone?
Me - No.
Missus - Oh right.
Me - Even if I did how am I going to start calling out the spelling words now?? I'm eating my dinner.
Missus - Right.
Me - Look, if you've got something to say.. say it! Don't beat around the bush with your questions.
Missus - Whatever.
Me - You just want to make an issue about me not having the words in my phone.
Missus - Don't you think you should have them???
Me - You're complaining about something that doesn't even make sense. What benefit is there in having these words in my phone? They're all written down in her book.... If I need them I can get them from there. Just because you've decided to put them in your phone doesn't mean I have to. Do you think that all the other parents have the spellings in their phones?
Missus - Maybe not, but I bet their kids don't get full marks in every spelling test!
Me - So our child only gets full marks in the test because you put the spellings in your phone?
Missus - You tell me!



This happened at about 7pm last night and her bad mood was still there when I left for work this morning.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeezus!!

 

[Welly]

I pull a transcript from another post to highlight the fact that I have the same problem:

*Background - Discussing the fact I am a bit Skint because it's christmas etc etc etc*

The Girlfriend says:
no sympathy.... lol
you decide to spend all that on your car

Alex says:
Hmmmm.
Ahh well.

The Girlfriend says:
one day you might learn its not all worth it....
hopefully

Alex says:
Hmmm, I enjoy it. It's no different to having a horse.

The Girlfriend says:
i dont spend any money on the horse

Alex says:
You need to look after it, pay for the vets and blacksmith fees, fuel it, just so you can ride it.

The Girlfriend says:
yeah but you spend more than just on the stuff you HAVE to get...
you buy things you dont need to

Alex says:
So you NEED new bridles, coats etc etc etc
You never EVER buy them because you just want a new one?

The Girlfriend says:
i barely ride the horse thank you!

Alex says:
lol
I'm just using it as an example...
See my point?
All hobbies cost money
End of.

The Girlfriend says:
nope

Alex says:
Sadly, mine is particularly expensive, but I do enjoy it

The Girlfriend says:
but ok

Alex says:
You don't see my point??!
Are you actual retarded?

 

[crazy88]

It's the very last line that cracks me up most with that one Welly! It makes me laugh more each time I read it.

 

[Welly]

It's the very last line that cracks me up most with that one Welly! It makes me laugh more each time I read it.

I thought it was a fair comment....

 

[Ads]

Me - Do you think that all the other parents have the spellings in their phones?
Missus - Maybe not, but I bet their kids don't get full marks in every spelling test!

Alex says:
So you NEED new bridles, coats etc etc etc
You never EVER buy them because you just want a new one?

The Girlfriend says:
i barely ride the horse thank you!

Ahhh I see your girlfriend, like mine, adopts the good old 'when all else fails give an answer to a question that doesn't exist ' stance.

Are our birds related by any chance?

 

[crazy88]

Ahhh I see your girlfriend, like mine, adopts the good old 'when all else fails give an answer to a question that doesn't exist ' stance.

Are our birds related by any chance?

Yes they are, to Eve, just like every other woman who thinks so irrationally.

 

[Welly]

Reminds me of this joke:

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?


The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

 

[smudge_don]

What do you drink mate?

Depends on the occasion

Seeing as you're buying, i'll have a magnum of Moet please :icon_thumright:

hey dude. thought id put my input in! Ive had this problem and tbh i still do occasionally. The reason i found why some women are like this is just the fact that we get on with women well. Some women (not all) feel insecure just on this fact. I wanted to see an old friend whom i knew 4 years prior to meeting my girlfriend who was coming to my uni to meet one of her old friends, but thought it would be good to see me whilst she was there! My gf went ape at this but then calmed down after a while only because I had a 2 hour conversation about who she is and why i know her etc.. Sarah is right when she says that you should take her with you to meet her. Take her a few times to make her realise that its no big deal and that people you meet from the past are just friends, good friends and that it's good to see them after such a long time! After taking her a few times, she may realise that, "hey actually i have nothing to be insecure about!" I see you've done this before with your friend kat, so why not ask kat to help you out a little bit? Trust is a big factor and you should address this to her in the calmest of manors to her. Keep your cool too, because as soon as she goes out of hand, you can address the fact that she's the one being unreasonable; not you.

Hope that helps a little, and let us know how your getting along! :icon_thumright:

Cheers for that, nice to know that i'm not the only one

This is where it gets even funnier, because i have no objections to her meeting my friends, but all in good time. I don't see why she should need to be there when i see this friend of mine for the 1st time in quite a while so that she can approve

I said i'd be more than happy for the 3 of us to go out any time, and even gave into her and said "fine, come when i arrange to meet her" and the Mrs just said that she didn't want to meet a "sket-bag" (her own words) that's going to get between us. That's how insecure she really is

so there it all is, the signs are there to warn you !

Jord,

Read this a couple of times. Obviously we are reading your take on it and its hard to get it from both sides, but did you ever stop to ask her why she feels this way? Is it her past experiences? Is it the way you behave or react when she asks you things? Its a real shame that she gets so upset she reacts the way you say and if there is a way for you both to over come it, try to find it. She seems from what you have said to have low confidence, maybe something you could work on, just a thought.



You are right but not many would admit it! But thats the whole point a few of us on here are making, having a soul mate doesnt need working at, its not a daily chore to get along, you just fit. If there is serious arguing as described above then it doesnt really make for a happy life eh! Not saying life should be a fairytale bed of roses but deep down you know if its right or not.

Ye i know it's because of her ex who she was actually married to. He turned into a complete ***** apparently and it just went to **** from then on with him. But he didn't cheat or go off with other girls as far as i know, so i guess that the Mrs is just trying to keep me as close to her as possible to save herself from losing out on someone she loves again. I can understand that, but i can't get my head around why she judges every single one of my friends. She has a pre-determined image that every single one of my female friends is just a whore who's out to steal me away from her....i've told her that she can't carry on like that and she seems to have taken it on board

You've been with your Mrs for 18 months... and you're wondering what the problems are.. lets see

Your Mrs wants you to be with her, but you'd rather be with your (girl)friends. Doesn't that ring alarm bells - it's probably ringing in her head and you've made her insecure.

You '****/shower/shave get all 'dolled up' not for her, but to go out for another woman.

You give her a reason to lose confidence/self esteem cos you are in effect seeing other women. She doesn't like it cos she doesn't know who they are. Why should she trust you?

Your Mrs should take a chill pill tho.

When did i say that i'd rather be with other girls? I'd rather spend a night in with the Mrs watching a film than go out, but occasionally i do want to see my friends. I never said that i prefer to go out with others over seeing the Mrs....

I get all dolled up for when me n the Mrs go out, and on any occasion that i go out actually. Presentation is a part of my job, so has become part of my life. I make a special effort for nobody apart from the Mrs when we have a special night out

She should have trust for me no matter what. I don't get how you determine catching up with a friend as "seeing other women"...it's not like i'm going out to see her with any intentions is it.

You need to take a step back and stop assuming/inferring things that aren't true

 

[a3_dan]

LOL

 

[L1 HCS]

You need to take a step back and stop assuming/inferring things that aren't true

You're in denial.

 

[Don's A3 TTu]

its nice to know im not the only man out there with these issues my missus is very hard to deal with and very stubborn esspecially when she is "due on" i call her "jon" = due on abbreiviated which tends to lighten the mood slightly,

but when you throw a 1yr old into the mix things start getting alot harder to deal with.

 

[Sarah's A3]

Women can't keep promises either though! I've been on the promise so many times and it's not come good! I don't know how many times she wants to wash her hair.

But it's different when they break the promise...theyre allowed to. Having said that, I was on the promise last night and succeeded.
Hurrah.

lol, oh you make me laugh! Your wife probably doesnt keep her promises because shes fed up of you following her around like a dog with 2 sticks! lol Try the more fun way of approach! or just drag her upstairs!!!! lol

 

[Sarah's A3]

THIS is so true!!!

I got "told off" last night. Why??? Because I didn't have my daughter's spelling test words stored in my phone!!

It went something like this:

Me - *eating my dinner*
Missus - (to my daughter) Right, time to practice your spelling test words.
Missus - (to me) Have you got the words in your phone?
Me - No.
Missus - Oh right.
Me - Even if I did how am I going to start calling out the spelling words now?? I'm eating my dinner.
Missus - Right.
Me - Look, if you've got something to say.. say it! Don't beat around the bush with your questions.
Missus - Whatever.
Me - You just want to make an issue about me not having the words in my phone.
Missus - Don't you think you should have them???
Me - You're complaining about something that doesn't even make sense. What benefit is there in having these words in my phone? They're all written down in her book.... If I need them I can get them from there. Just because you've decided to put them in your phone doesn't mean I have to. Do you think that all the other parents have the spellings in their phones?
Missus - Maybe not, but I bet their kids don't get full marks in every spelling test!
Me - So our child only gets full marks in the test because you put the spellings in your phone?
Missus - You tell me!



This happened at about 7pm last night and her bad mood was still there when I left for work this morning.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeezus!!

oh I laughed out loud to this one!

Bless her, shes doing what she thinks works so dont knock her but its a bit OTT lol.

Maybe you should stick them in your mobile and when you're having your dinner just pass the mobile to your daughter lol!

 

[Sarah's A3]

Ye i know it's because of her ex who she was actually married to. He turned into a complete ***** apparently and it just went to **** from then on with him. But he didn't cheat or go off with other girls as far as i know, so i guess that the Mrs is just trying to keep me as close to her as possible to save herself from losing out on someone she loves again. I can understand that, but i can't get my head around why she judges every single one of my friends. She has a pre-determined image that every single one of my female friends is just a whore who's out to steal me away from her....i've told her that she can't carry on like that and she seems to have taken it on board

Ah Jord, dont ever try to understand us women lol

Remember just because her ex didnt actually cheat on her doesnt mean she wont have issues with other women! Theres that 'green eyed monster' that lurks and is hard to beat away! In her mind she could be imagining your female friends are stunners rather than whores! Time is always good and plenty of understanding and as I said before spoil her!

 

[tku]

May I just say that the way your strongly explaining things smudge/jord your not actually painting a very good picture of your missus I'm afraid. So if it ain't you, it's her and if she is the way you have made out..to be fair mate I would do a runner! Haha anyways good luck and remember everyone is just trying to help and not assume like you told Ming! Thing they were trying to maybe give a different side that you might not see.

 

[crazy88]

lol, oh you make me laugh! Your wife probably doesnt keep her promises because shes fed up of you following her around like a dog with 2 sticks! lol Try the more fun way of approach! or just drag her upstairs!!!! lol

I have been a good boy recently and not followed her like a dog with 2 sticks. Infact I even turned her down last night, more to prove a point that it's unfair that she gets it whenever she wants it, but i have to wait until the exact moment when she's ready.

 

[Allroader]

I think you'll find in woman land that's reasonable grounds for her getting a third stick. Of course, if we thought like that... oh, an awful lot of men do.

 

[Sarah's A3]

I have been a good boy recently and not followed her like a dog with 2 sticks. Infact I even turned her down last night, more to prove a point that it's unfair that she gets it whenever she wants it, but i have to wait until the exact moment when she's ready.

haahaa you turned it down!!!! upps! so you missed that boat eh! So the wait continues! Oh she has the power lol

 

[Sarah's A3]

I think you'll find in woman land that's reasonable grounds for her getting a third stick. Of course, if we thought like that... oh, an awful lot of men do.

Gladly we dont all think like that. But yup alot do. Jord will sort it, one way or another. Sometimes it just helps hearing others ideas

 

[Essflee]

Back to the op,

I know were all different in our relationships but I had plenty of female friends about when I was younger but now I'm with the missus I couldn't give a toss if I ever saw them again 'in the nicest possible way' the only ladies company I need anymore is the missus...

 

[Ads]

Back to the op,

I know were all different in our relationships but I had plenty of female friends about when I was younger but now I'm with the missus I couldn't give a toss if I ever saw them again 'in the nicest possible way' the only ladies company I need anymore is the missus...

^^^^Gotta agree with this.
Smudge - how old are you mate?? Kinda young I'm guessing... i.e. early 20's??? (no disrespect).
Its just that it sounds like how I was at that age, and how some of my mate's in their early 20's still are.

 

[Sarah's A3]

Back to the op,

I know were all different in our relationships but I had plenty of female friends about when I was younger but now I'm with the missus I couldn't give a toss if I ever saw them again 'in the nicest possible way' the only ladies company I need anymore is the missus...

Couldn't agree more! but obviously my hubby!

 

[missviper]

I have a male friends and my feller found it hard at first but now he is okay with it. But i did get him to meet them.
Maybe it is a good idea for her to meet them at the end of the day if your doing nothing wrong then you have nothin to hide so show her that......

 

[Geordie Mike]

It's a tough one - everyone comes as a complete package, with baggage. You can't choose which options you want, even though you're trying - you said that it lasts for about 3 weeks, then goes back to normal. You have to decide whether you want to be with her enough to accept that, or the associated arguing, or move on to someone with other issues. Which is more important - your bird or your mates? If you can't answer that straight away, that doesn't mean anything either. And the answer you have now may also completely change in 6 months time too!

 

[smudge_don]

Back to the op,

I know were all different in our relationships but I had plenty of female friends about when I was younger but now I'm with the missus I couldn't give a toss if I ever saw them again 'in the nicest possible way' the only ladies company I need anymore is the missus...

It's got nothing to do with ladies company leggy, these people are my friends and have been for years. Female or not, she can't expect me to exclude people from my life just because she says so

^^^^Gotta agree with this.
Smudge - how old are you mate?? Kinda young I'm guessing... i.e. early 20's??? (no disrespect).
Its just that it sounds like how I was at that age, and how some of my mate's in their early 20's still are.

Spot on mate, just turned 21

I imagine i'll get more distant from a lot of friends when i'm older, but without my friends, i wouldn't be where i am today. They are very important to me

I know that the Mrs means everything to me now, but i don't see why i should lose important friends from my life

 

[Essflee]

I appreciate what your saying mate, I'm older than you and have driftered from people I once knew, however I've read that you've sold/or selling your car and are committing to a house with the missus, but reading what you've put and the attitudes towards the missus at times and your age...moving in together would be a big mistake, you obviously already suspect this, go with your gut feeling mate, If I felt how you did I'd put a holt to it, buying a house is a big thing and can work out even more expensive if things don't work out and you are forced to sell it...

 

[smudge_don]

I appreciate what your saying mate, I'm older than you and have driftered from people I once knew, however I've read that you've sold/or selling your car and are committing to a house with the missus, but reading what you've put and the attitudes towards the missus at times and your age...moving in together would be a big mistake, you obviously already suspect this, go with your gut feeling mate, If I felt how you did I'd put a holt to it, buying a house is a big thing and can work out even more expensive if things don't work out and you are forced to sell it...

House and mortgage will all be in my name, plus we've written up a pre-pre-numpt which excludes her from any benefits of the house if things didn't work out

 

[jojo]

It's got nothing to do with ladies company leggy, these people are my friends and have been for years. Female or not, she can't expect me to exclude people from my life just because she says so

Only it does, but the above is from your point of view, and not the view of your other half! Do you think she will react the same if you went out with the lads(old mates I'm talking about here) for a night out?

Not having a dig at you mind, but you really have to look into how woman think, they are complex creatures.

 

[DaveA3]

Thanks for the comments guys

Sometimes i do just wanna cut the cord and be done with it all, but at the same time i do love her dearly and 95% of the time we get along extremely well

I just wish you could of seen her last night though. She turned into a complete psycho to the point where i had to walk out of my own flat because she was throwing things at me and hitting me. She grabbed my keys before i had a chance to but i still went down the road to a mates house.

Then i got abusive texts and shes saying stupid stuff like i'm going home (to Beford, about 80miles away) with your keys and your work laptop. That's the sort of snide, pathetic person that she can be. If she doesn't get her own way, she'll just make life harder for me

So i'm stuck tbh. I love her and do see a future, but at the same time i don't want someone who is going to be controlling who i can and cannot see. I don't ever stop her from going out to see people, be it male or female. So why should she be able to control what i do?

sounds like my missus mate. im still not sure what to do. my situation is 95% the same as urs. Some of these answers are helpful but i know already they wouldnt work. especially with the expressive chats. Things will be fine for 2-3 months then get crappy again. Although the period between crappyness seem to be getting closer as time goes on!

 

[Welly]

OK, to lighten the mood (no offense intended....)

What do you tell a woman who has two black eyes?

Nothing. She's already been told twice....