What is your most embarrassing moment?

StateOfPlay

StateOfPlay

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We all have them. Every now and then you want the ground to open up so you can disappear.

Mine is the time I was taking a call from our contact centre at work. They were based in India and the call was what they name an "open call". This means that it is a three way conversation, me, the Indian lady and the customer.

The Indian lady introduced the customer and said that she wants to report the loss of her father. I was very sympathetic and said that I would handle the call. The Indian lady said her goodbyes and finished the call with "I hope you find your Father"

FML.
 
I think my most embarrassing moment was spending an hour or so going round Tescos doing my food shopping, got to the checkout, everything is scanned through and all packed and realise I have no bag, purse with switch card on me to pay the bill. I only went in for a few items and snce it was quiet just kept going round. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, lol. Its funny now, but at the time it wasnt. :)
 
My most embarrassing moment is probably when i was mucking about on a bmx & noticed 3 fit birds walking towards me, trying to impress them i pull a wheelie only to end up landing on my **** with the bike lying on top of me. As you can imagine i felt and looked like a right idiot!
 
mikeyboy said:
My most embarrassing moment is probably when i was mucking about on a bmx & noticed 3 fit birds walking towards me, trying to impress them i pull a wheelie only to end up landing on my **** with the bike lying on top of me. As you can imagine i felt and looked like a right idiot!
Click to expand...

Funny, reminds me of a mate who was about to pull a 'u ee' in his old m3 when he noticed a tasty sort in the bus shelter so thought he would give it some beans, drop the clutch and 'flick it round' for a little effect but ended up doing a fairly uncontrolled 270 & facing her .. Smooth... !!
 
sitting in a pub many years ago talking about an ex girlfriend to a few lads i know.Having a laf at the fact that she had one like a slab of halibut when one pipes up 'im engaged to her'.Quick exit.
saw who i thought was another ex girlfriend from behind, crept up and stuck my hand up her skirt.It wasnt her.Lucky for me this was before women took offence and i was in my teens.
Being caught hand in sock on the vinegar stroke by my mum whilst living at home with all my best night reading material on the bed.
still makes me laugh.
 
johnnythepie said:
sitting in a pub many years ago talking about an ex girlfriend to a few lads i know.Having a laf at the fact that she had one like a slab of halibut when one pipes up 'im engaged to her'.Quick exit.
saw who i thought was another ex girlfriend from behind, crept up and stuck my hand up her skirt.It wasnt her.Lucky for me this was before women took offence and i was in my teens.
Being caught hand in sock on the vinegar stroke by my mum whilst living at home with all my best night reading material on the bed.
still makes me laugh.
Click to expand...

John, you are priceless. Lmao. :)
 
Quality thread! One day driving up the road with a group of mates in the car, I got a smile from an overweight and somewhat unattractive young lady. That made her day, ugly cow. I cockily stated, only to receive a clip round the ear from behind from what turned out to be her equally ugly brother! We laughed about it after though, and we're still good mates.
 
Lmfao at getting caught by you mum

Oh god the list is endless. But a few postable ones would be, going into a very sleepy village in northern Ireland on the paper run bending over to pick up the sun and my browning 9mm flopped out on to the papers the old dear behind the counter dived for covet and hit the panic alarm. Had to wait for the RUC officers to turn up and do the walk of shame back to the car.

On a different tour I was driving a transit van through the centre of omagh came to the crossroads, hit a red light had to stop (like you do) lights went to green I floored it, the weight of all of the kit hit the door release catch opthing both doors and dumped a platoons worth of bergans in the centre of of the crossroads.... Total fail!!

Oh and Once got a sprinter van wedged on a humpback bridge with 12 lads in the back, was ment to be a quiet one but ended up going a bit noisy... My bad :(
 
damo.h said:
Lmfao at getting caught by you mum

Oh god the list is endless. But a few postable ones would be, going into a very sleepy village in northern Ireland on the paper run bending over to pick up the sun and my browning 9mm flopped out on to the papers the old dear behind the counter dived for covet and hit the panic alarm. Had to wait for the RUC officers to turn up and do the walk of shame back to the car.

On a different tour I was driving a transit van through the centre of omagh came to the crossroads, hit a red light had to stop (like you do) lights went to green I floored it, the weight of all of the kit hit the door release catch opthing both doors and dumped a platoons worth of bergans in the centre of of the crossroads.... Total fail!!

Oh and Once got a sprinter van wedged on a humpback bridge with 12 lads in the back, was ment to be a quiet one but ended up going a bit noisy... My bad :(
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Love it Damo. Your not bad. Your a real top gun, lol. :)
 
Can't believe I'm going to tell this story, but what the heck......................

I was about 19 years old and somehow managed to pull the local dream girl who everyone fancied. Met up with a her few times and only got as much as a goodbye peck at the end of the night. Anyway, one evening she invited me around to hers to watch a movie so I washed all my kissable areas and sped around to hers in my Vauxhall Nova.
After being there for a few hours I put a move on her, fully expecting it to end at a quick fumble. It didn't. Sensing that she was going to let me have my wicked way with her I asked "shall I get something from my wallet?"
She knew what I was on about and just nodded. :yes:

:rockwoot::yahoo::sex:


So I fetched my little 'mate', jumped on top of her and started tapping away.......

....and four seconds later it was all over. :sorry:


Unable to admit to my poor performance I faked a hamstring cramp and said I had to stop. I got off of her and tried to make my way to the bathroom to dispose of the evidence of my 0-60 in 4 seconds.
Now I don't know if it was the whimper I let out as I climaxed but she knew something was going on, so she called out for me to stop.
The room was pitch black and I stopped in my tracks, 'mate' in hand, and its contents proof that the action didn't stop because of cramp.
At this stage I still thought she was going to ask me to get her a drink or something, or just ask me if my leg was alright.
She didn't. She simply stated... "you shot your load, didn't you.".
Now of course I HAD to deny it, so I did. But then she went on to tell me to turn the light on so she could see the sheath!!! :wtf:

Panic had now fully set in and I considered running. But then I had a brainwave! :idea:



****WARNING - PLEASE DO NOT READ ON IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH****



Before I turned the lights on I emptied the contents of the 'mate' on to the carpet and stood on it! As soon as I felt the wetness on the sole of my foot I knew the evidence was hidden so I reached across to the light switch, turned it on and proudly held up the empty condom so she could see it.
She glanced quickly at it and then looked down at my todger. I thought to myself that I had got away with it and now she was just taking in my sights, so I looked down too, just to make sure I was offering her an impressive enough eyefull.... but what happened next caused my heart stop.

When I looked down, what I saw can only be described as a six inch stretchy line of "snot" hanging down from the end of my winkle!!! :faint:



And THAT is the most embarrassing moment of my ENTIRE life.
 
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​Ads, I knew we would get a good post from you. As usual, you never let me down, my sides are hurting with laughing. :) x
 
Ads:1547869 said:
Can't believe I'm going to tell this story, but what the heck......................

I was about 19 years old and somehow managed to pull the local dream girl who everyone fancied. Met up with a her few times and only got as much as a goodbye peck at the end of the night. Anyway, one evening she invited me around to hers to watch a movie so I washed all my kissable areas and sped around to hers in my Vauxhall Nova.
After being there for a few hours I put a move on her, fully expecting it to end at a quick fumble. It didn't. Sensing that she was going to let me have my wicked way with her I asked "shall I get something from my wallet?"
She knew what I was on about and just nodded. :yes:

:rockwoot::yahoo::sex:


So I fetched my little 'mate', jumped on top and started knocking away.......

....and four seconds later it was all over. :sorry:


Unable to admit to my poor performance I faked a hamstring cramp and said I had to stop. I got off of her and tried to make my way to the bathroom to dispose of the evidence of my 0-60 in 4 seconds.
Now I don't know if it was the whimper I let out as I climaxed but she knew something was going on, so she called out for me to stop.
The room was pitch black and I stopped in my tracks, 'mate' in hand, and its contents proof that the action didn't stop because of cramp.
At this stage I still thought she was going to ask me to get her a drink or something, or just ask me if my leg was alright.
She didn't. She simply stated... "you shot your load, didn't you.".
Now of course I HAD to deny it, so I did. But then she went on to tell me to turn the light on so she could see the sheath!!! :wtf:

Panic had now fully set in and I considered running. But then I had a brainwave! :idea:



****WARNING - PLEASE DO NOT READ ON IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH****



Before I turned the lights on I emptied the contents of the 'mate' on to the carpet and stood on it! As soon as I felt the wetness on the sole of my foot I knew the evidence was hidden so I reached across to the light switch, turned it on and proudly held up the empty condom so she could see it.
She glanced quickly at it and then looked down at my todger. I thought to myself that I had got away with it and now she was just taking in my sights, so I looked down too, just to make sure I was offering her an impressive enough eyefull.... but what happened next caused my heart stop.

When I looked down, what I saw can only be described as a six inch stretchy line of "snot" hanging down from the end of my winkle!!! :faint:



And THAT is the most embarrassing moment of my ENTIRE life.
Click to expand...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahabaha! I think we have a winner!
 
audi upgrades
When i 1st passed my test i took a girl i like out to the pictures.

Exhaust snapped half way there. The car sounded like a monster truck.

Nightmare haha
 
thats a classic ads.At least you emptied your wheelbarrow!How did you make it last 4 seconds?
 
Hahahaha hahahahaa hahahaha fkn ads :lmfao:
 
Ads, that story is hilarious!

I've just burst out laughing in the most quietest office ever! Boss is looking at me like I'm an idiot now!

That is deffo a winner!
 
I was organising some works at Tesco Stafford just after it had opened. The shelving for the TV's was the wrong colour so I had some guys removing the shelving, taking it away to be sprayed the right colour , then bought back and installed. One of my guys called me to say someone had stopped them working. I was only in Cannock suveying another project so I said I would drop over and sort it out.
I walked into the store and found my guys and asked who it was that had stopped them working, they pointed out some samll fat guy in a suit. I walked over to him and asked him who he was and why he had stopped my guys working, I also pointed out that we need to get this done really quickly as the big nobs from tesco head office are visiting to look over the store.

He looked at me, held out his hand and said "Good afternoon, pleased to meet you, I am Terry Leahy, the biggest of the big nobs".
 
sidibear said:
I was organising some works at Tesco Stafford just after it had opened. The shelving for the TV's was the wrong colour so I had some guys removing the shelving, taking it away to be sprayed the right colour , then bought back and installed. One of my guys called me to say someone had stopped them working. I was only in Cannock suveying another project so I said I would drop over and sort it out.
I walked into the store and found my guys and asked who it was that had stopped them working, they pointed out some samll fat guy in a suit. I walked over to him and asked him who he was and why he had stopped my guys working, I also pointed out that we need to get this done really quickly as the big nobs from tesco head office are visiting to look over the store.

He looked at me, held out his hand and said "Good afternoon, pleased to meet you, I am Terry Leahy, the biggest of the big nobs".
Click to expand...

Lmao, that is priceless. I am sure you wanted the floor to just open up and swallow you Paul. :)
 
The time I **** myself and puked up within 20 seconds of each other in the middle of my girlfriends mums kitchen at 4 in the morning was pretty bad.
 
Might as well tell you lot my second most embarrassing experience too....

Come to think of it I'm sure I was still 19 at the time and it also involved a girl (a different one this time) and her house.
So once again I'd been invited round to the house and the evening was going well. I'd had a few Diamond Whites and was feeling nice and relaxed. Anyway, I don't know if it was the cider's fizziness that did it but as the evening went on my stomach started to feel very gassy. I tried for ages not to let out a fart but eventually it got too much and I was close to popping.
So I asked if I could use her toilet and off I went to decompress myself.

I arrived in the toilet and closed the door behind me. The toilet was only a couple of feet away from the living room that the girl was sitting in and well within earshot, even with the door shut. I didn't want to risk her hearing me let rip so I decided to unbuckle my belt, pull down my trouser so they were pretty much around my ankles, bend over and then grab my left **** cheek with my left hand and my right cheek with my right hand and then separate them so there was no chance of vibrating cheek noise, only a silent gush of **** wind.

Once the position was correct and the spread was ample I released the pressure and as expected nothing but a silent gush of air flowed out.
I stayed in the position for a few seconds after the first wave, just to make sure there was no more to come. When I was sure I was fully deflated I went to stand up straight.... but then I heard something!
It was a floor board creak coming from just outside the bathroom. I froze. I'm not sure why because although my trousers were around my ankles and I was bent over spreading my butt cheeks, I was safely tucked away in the bathroom behind a closed door.

Anyway, the creaking stopped so I decided it was time to pull up my trousers. But just before I did, still bent over and **** cheeks in hands, I peered over my shoulder towards the door, only to notice that 1) the door had somehow opened so there was a 12 inch gap, and 2) the girl who should've still been sitting in the living room was standing just outside the bathroom looking at me and my bum hole through this gap. :faint:


1996 was a very bad year for me.
 
jojo said:
Another 5 stories Ads, you could rewrite the lyrics to 'seven days', oooh yeeeh, Craig Daviiiiid... check it oooout! :laugh:
Click to expand...

Lol. He met this girl on Monday, gave her 4sec then cum on her floor on a Tuesday........ :whistle2:
 
audi upgrades
lmao, jeeeesus man id hate to be you at 19!

i have quite an embarrassing one, although im rarely embarrassed at all!

stayed at this girls house, there had been many many drinks that night and we were leathered on the floor in the living room.
anyway, about 3-4 in the morning i get up, waking her up, walk across the room to her patio doors, get my little soldier out and pi55ed all over the curtains before returning to bed like nothing had happened.
now i've slept walked a couple of times but never done anything like this, usually woken up or just gone to bed like wtf is going on.
the girl said she was sat bolt up right, watching me do this, flopping it out and she's thinkin 'no, god no!' as i start and the pee is running towards her.
i was sooooo glad i was asleep at this point.
following morning i wake to see her with a face of thunder, she told me what happened and i didnt believe her, then she said go and check yourself, ive not cleaned it all yet. :( id pee'd.
luckily she was very outgoing and open minded so soon saw the funny side of it.
 
Ha.Next time take a little paddling pool with you.Nothing wrong with a bit of golden rain!
 
out on the **** and decided it would be funny to pull a moony against a window, unfortunately it turned out to be a door, and i fell into the bar, pants round my ankles and shirt over my head, next to a table of about 10 forty year old women who seemed to think it was quite funny. ha ha was a good night tho
 
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