Anther review from the Amazon site
'Reading the hundreds of reviews on Amazon, Most of which were shall we say, interesting to say the least. I was not sure whether or not to beleive it or not. Now it must be noted that i am hairier than a wookies armpit around my sesspit and gentlemans vegetables, but i thought to myself at this price i would be an idiot to let such a deal pass. The savings alone in plasters, shaving gel, wilkinson swords and aloe vera wipes i would be quids in. How wrong was i! So there i was all excited after ordering said miracle item awaiting the post womans arrival, that when it did eventually arrive, i nearly tore her arm out of her socket. Which would have been very unfortunate for her as she was already a paraplegic and partially blind, and i slammed the front door without offering to help her back to her foot. I raced upstairs to the bathroom and tore the box to peices as i ran. As i reached the top of the stairs, i already had the top off the tube. 1st mistake. I tripped over the top step and fell onto the tube sending squirts of the lovely blue paste along the carpet and across the cat, who had positioned itself near to the radiator. Showing no regard for anything esle but splashing the blue goo onto my love eggs, i went into the bathroom and as most men do, ignored the leaflet and adopted the Henry Cooper style of splash it all over. Mistake 2! There i was standing in the bathroom, butt nekid admiring bean bag and gentlemans sausage that was soon to be smoother than duncan Goodhews head, when the phone rang. I ran out of the bathroom and answered the phone only to find it was one of those ****** anoying telesales people trying to sell solar panels. It took me over 6 mins to finally get rid of them, when the tingling sensation around my farmer giles was getting a little too much and i told the man to politly **** ***. I raced back upstairs and noticed the cat had gone, and what i can only describe as a scene out of back to the future at the top of my stairs. All that was left was a smouldering patch of fur and a streak of fire along the carpet. I was going to continue to look for the cat at that point, however by now the slight irritation had developed into a full on heat explosion. Starting to panic i ran the cold water tap and tried to position myself over the sink so i could scrub my potatoes and baloon knot with lovely cold water. Wrong move. The water somehow seemed to enhance the chemical properties of this marvelous mixture and within seconds my love scones and winking walnut had gone from hot to core meltdown and was at critical mass. It was as if i had broken down the gates of mordor, home to the mighty armies of the dark lord Sauron, a place of darkness and destruction, ran up mount doom and dipped my swinging bag of beans and log roll onto the fires of mordor bathed them in the fire. I heard the area was watched by the great eye, but by now, my great eye was redder than a pickled beetroot and my Starfish resembled the japaneese flag. I stood there in amazement as the hairs started to fall from my babaloons and the transformation from looking like Brian Blessed's chin to pre pubesant child started to take effect. By now, beads of sweat were pouring down my face and in an attempt to cool myself down i mopped my brow with my palm. Within seconds, my forehead began to throb and i started to get that familiar feeling again on my head. Foolishly i had wiped some of satans love juice across my head whilst wiping sweat away. The heat was such that i doubt Spock, with his tollerance to radiation could have withstood the intesity the demons semen was producing. It was at this point, the pain became too much and i began to pass out, i slipped off the sink and i i came down pulled the whole thing off the wall. Jets of water sprayed across the bathroom and fell onto me. The last thing i can remember is what was left of my swollen bright orange space hopper that was once my seed sack, smoldering like a gremlin after it had been doused in water. Several hours later i was awoken by my wife, the plumber and the RSPCA asking if i was ok. Still in a bit of a daze, the first thing i had noticed was the pain had subsided, and my meat and veg were smoother than a cobra's belly and my wang looked several inches bigger. I reached down and felt that my Jeremy Kiles had been burned away. The plumber had switched off the water and my wife began the interogation, informing me that the kithcen ceiling had come through and the cat had smashed its way through the door, and was lying in a puddle in the road. She said it looked like someone had cut it in half with a light sabre. The RSPCA had seen it and questioned neighbours and said it was ours and had taken it away to be rehomed. I sat up and looked in the mirror and noticed that not only was i silky smooth on my under carriage, Granted my balls looked something that should be ironed and were glowing like the ready brek man and my pork lance was crumbling like a burnt out cuban cigar, but my mono brow, and my pride and joy super afro ala Lionel Rich tea had completely also gone and i looked like i had undergone an intense course of chemotherapy. Needless to say my wife left me, i can no longer, by order of the courts be allowed to keep pets for the rest of my life and have not for the last 6 months seen any sign of hair on any part of my body, Which is why i am giving this 5 stars as it does exactly what it says it does.'
I had to stop reading 1/2 way thro' as I was laughing so hard lol
