Polished Bliss: Audi S5 Major Correction...


Professional Detailer


Smell my finger.
Good job there, lovely looking car too.

I'd be spitting fire if Audi did that to a car I'd just got off them...grrrr.

If I ever have the cash to get myself a brand new car the dealer cleaning monkey wont be allowed near it. I'll drive it away with the build sheets still stuck to it before I let someone ruin it for me.


Registered User
That proves it for me. I went through a very odd experience when asking for my new car to be delivered to me 'untouched by a dealers sponge'. My experience was as follows:

1. Initially, I was told there was no way that a dealer could sell me a brand new car that had not been 'washed' prior to delivery. This statement was accompanied with a look of shock/amazement (and possibly a hint of sarcasm) and followed up with the fact that he'd never been asked to do this in xx years of working in the business etc. etc.
2. After some persuasion from the guys here, further phone calls forced the dealer to agree to a 'no wash'.
3. Just before delivery day, I get an email telling me that my car couldn't possibly be picked up on a Saturday and that I'd need to take a day off in the week to do it. (we suspect still to this day that the dealer didn't want to hand over the car on a Saturday while other potential prospects were around, in case it looked 'dirty'.)
4. On delivery day, I was promised that it would have been fine because the guy round the back was in fact a 'proper detailer' (as opposed to a 'junior car washer' I'm guessing)

On delivery day, the car looked fine (as I suspected it would) and only had a couple of glue spots left over from the protective packing, which were removed in a few seconds with some bug remover. The result being that my new car is still completely swirl/mark free, 6 months later.

As the guys here said to me about six months ago, it's absolutely ridiculous that you could spend tens of thousands of pounds on something brand new and have it delivered to you with marked/damaged paintwork!
The original condition of that paintwork is truly shocking! It's a shame it even required you guys to perform as much work as that on a car only a few weeks old!


I couldn't agree more with d3mon. Its your ****** hard earned cash. Its your car. If you wanted it with a poster of Penelope Cruz stuck to the windscreen, then the dealer should oblige without gobbing off! After all, your doing them the favour by deciding to part with your money there! Dealers seem to have forgotten that in recent years. I was in Wycombe BMW dealership with a mate who's just bought a 1 series at the weekend. There was a wash monkey walking around the showroom buffing all the cars with a disgustingly dirty microfibre and a clear bottle of something that had turned brown! Good job those display cars wern't for new customers!! That aside I went to the new West End Audi a few weeks ago. Was in the quattro room where they have all the old S1's, Sport quattros, super tourers etc. I have never seen so many swirl marks! Fair enough they are old and have been raced, but they are in a museum now so the paint should be A1! All I kept on thinking was " Someone let Polished Bliss loose on these cars so they can be sorted out like they should be!!!"


I'm not modding, I'm improving
VCDS Map User
Clark, nice to see a member of PB on here. Avid fan from my detailing days over on Cliosport. Good to know you around for VAG paintwork questions.



Registered User
Interesting, I was met with the same derision when I bought the A6 Allroad in December. The dealership wanted to to charge £400 for Auto Gym Life Shine you can guess what my answer was.

In the end I merely picked the car up any then washed it with Autogylm Car shampoo and then polished it with Zymol Cleaner-Wax and the result was amazing. The car is still looking good despite the fowl weather and doing nearly 2000 miles in the last 4 weeks in the snow.

I will be looking to get it properly detailed in the spring, if anyone has any recommendations for anywhere in the NE of England it would be appreciated.