Driving anxiety

[Jay Be]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to start a discussion around driving anxiety. It’s not something that is openly talked about often so as part of this community I just wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone else has had similar experiences etc.

Some of you may know (seen me on the B9 A4/S4 section) that I drive a 2018 S4 so I love cars and always have since I was a kid. I’m always changing cars and always following what’s going on in the industry. However, for the last few years I’ve been trying to beat driving anxiety, believe it or not. It’s something that out of the blue hit me and made life a bit more difficult.

I never had a problem and loved driving, although at times the motorway made me a tad nervous especially with roadworks, unlit and high speeds. However one night, I had a mini panic attack on the motorway and then on a dual carriageway. For 6 months I couldn’t go near either without feeling I’m going to go crazy. Now, I’m back on and although I’m not completely 100%, I’m not far off what I used to be. It was so difficult to overcome especially when you see people not even batter an eyelid at.

Anyway, with this being a car forum as I was just curious to see if anyone else had experiences to share or any input. As everyone seems to be car lovers here, I didn’t think there’d be too many, but I wanted to share anyway

 

[oli356]

Not heard of someone start having driving anxiety before, usually just have it from the start.

Do you mind sharing what the mini panic attack was that kicked it all off? Are we talking of a driving problem, ie a near accident or something else.

 

[DieselJake]

Sorry to hear about this mate, was going to suggest having someone else drive but surely that's worse! I'm fortunate to live within walking distance of work plus most things and only use the car for the odd trip to relatives, shopping and touring but that's not possible for all of us, could be worth maybe trying something a bit bigger/safer (ok I know a B9 S4 is plenty big/safe enough but I'm sure theirs something bigger and safer that could be had) the change of car might help ease things too if this is the one that you had the panic attack in as you could be tying the anxity in with the car.

 

[Jay Be]

Not heard of someone start having driving anxiety before, usually just have it from the start.

Do you mind sharing what the mini panic attack was that kicked it all off? Are we talking of a driving problem, ie a near accident or something else.

Yeah course, basically I was on way home from friends late at night on motorway and it was pitch black, horrendous weather and two lanes were closed but it was still fast moving traffic. I had cars in front and behind so was kind of stuck in between. I don’t know why but all of a sudden I felt claustrophobic and trapped and just wanted to get out of there lol. Then just started panicking. It’s a horrible sensation as you think you’re not in control and when you’re at those speeds in a massive BMW it’s just not good.

 

[Jay Be]

Sorry to hear about this mate, was going to suggest having someone else drive but surely that's worse! I'm fortunate to live within walking distance of work plus most things and only use the car for the odd trip to relatives, shopping and touring but that's not possible for all of us, could be worth maybe trying something a bit bigger/safer (ok I know a B9 S4 is plenty big/safe enough but I'm sure theirs something bigger and safer that could be had) the change of car might help ease things too if this is the one that you had the panic attack in as you could be tying the anxity in with the car.

Yeah I did get my gf to drive whenever we needed to get on motorway etc but eventually I was like nope, this isn’t beating me. I love driving and couldn’t let it stop me. So took steps to get back on which now I am. Guess it’ll take time to be completely comfortable. I then sold my BMW 4 series and bought the S4. That kind of helped as the excitement of a new car spurred me too. Funny thing is though I can drive in similar conditions on country roads where it’s pitch black like a rally driver and love it hah where most people I know hate that. Strange eh

 

[oli356]

Interesting. Well good to know you're getting closer to how you once were again!
Thanks for sharing

 

[mikep99]

I've been the same for the last year or so..
Never had problems in the past but now I dont use motorways. Like you say, I'm fine on A roads and to a certain degree, dual carriageways whatever the time of day/night.
I'm going to have to push myself to try motorways again but I dont need to use them at the moment so its not a huge setback.
I dont know what's set it off - have you done anything in particular to ease you back into motorway driving?
Sounds weird but it's nice to hear other people have similar experiences.
Cheers
Mike

 

[Audi Bairn]

Sorry to hear about this.
The brain can do some strange things to us at times.
Although not exactly the same as you describe, my anxiety is more related to a couple of RTC's I was involved in as an innocent party.
The most recent was 7 years ago now, where a taxi rammed me from the side after not stopping at a junction - I now winced every time I pass a junction and a car appears at the give way line. As I say, not the same as your experience, which sound much worse, but a form of driving related anxiety.

 

[Jay Be]

I've been the same for the last year or so..
Never had problems in the past but now I dont use motorways. Like you say, I'm fine on A roads and to a certain degree, dual carriageways whatever the time of day/night.
I'm going to have to push myself to try motorways again but I dont need to use them at the moment so its not a huge setback.
I dont know what's set it off - have you done anything in particular to ease you back into motorway driving?
Sounds weird but it's nice to hear other people have similar experiences.
Cheers
Mike

I actually went to a hypnotherapist. Sounds rather silly but she actually put me into a relaxed state and told me to keep replaying the panic attack in my mind until I was bored . I didn’t think it worked and she said to trust her, it has. She said go on the motorway and let me know how you feel. So I went on and she was right, I no longer reacted in the same way. I’d highly recommend it. It just goes to show, us Audi drivers are human after all haha

 

[Jay Be]

Interesting. Well good to know you're getting closer to how you once were again!
Thanks for sharing

Thanks mate and no problem.

 

[mikep99]

Hmm interesting..
Might be an option for me. .

Thanks
Mike

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[Crazyfool]

Yeah course, basically I was on way home from friends late at night on motorway and it was pitch black, horrendous weather and two lanes were closed but it was still fast moving traffic. I had cars in front and behind so was kind of stuck in between. I don’t know why but all of a sudden I felt claustrophobic and trapped and just wanted to get out of there lol. Then just started panicking. It’s a horrible sensation as you think you’re not in control and when you’re at those speeds in a massive BMW it’s just not good.

Do you do a lot of driving? If you don’t use it you lose it as they say. I still have no fear of heights for example because it’s part and parcel of my job, whereas others at my age are starting to find it more uncomfortable.

I spend a lot of tine on the road, in the UK and the continent and as you can imagine being in the south east you get used to heavy traffic.

One suggestion would be to go on an advance driver training. I did it with work and found it really useful. They will teach you how to avoid situations like yours where you become ‘locked into’ your lane due to other vehicles around you.

Hope this helps.


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[Jay Be]

Do you do a lot of driving? If you don’t use it you lose it as they say. I still have no fear of heights for example because it’s part and parcel of my job, whereas others at my age are starting to find it more uncomfortable.

I spend a lot of tine on the road, in the UK and the continent and as you can imagine being in the south east you get used to heavy traffic.

One suggestion would be to go on an advance driver training. I did it with work and found it really useful. They will teach you how to avoid situations like yours where you become ‘locked into’ your lane due to other vehicles around you.

Hope this helps.


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Yeah I changed jobs last month which means 50 miles a day round trip so really had no choice but to get my sh*t together lol. Having to do this daily definitely has helped a lot too. I also did look at advanced driving courses, it’s a good idea. I think I might do one.

 

[Charlie Farley]

Do you do a lot of driving? If you don’t use it you lose it as they say. I still have no fear of heights for example because it’s part and parcel of my job, whereas others at my age are starting to find it more uncomfortable.

I spend a lot of tine on the road, in the UK and the continent and as you can imagine being in the south east you get used to heavy traffic.

One suggestion would be to go on an advance driver training. I did it with work and found it really useful. They will teach you how to avoid situations like yours where you become ‘locked into’ your lane due to other vehicles around you.

Hope this helps.


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Your spot on chap, I used to do a lot of miles and never had any issues at all but as I have got older and don't do any where near the same distances I do find night time driving harder, not difficult but just a tad more testing if that's the best word.
I think it's that loss of regular usage that's is part of the cause , everything is moving along at an increasing pace on roads but if you don't do anywhere near the milage on a regular basis you tend to become almost under pressure to keep up with the flow.....well I know what I mean.
Sometimes its just that feeling your not in full control of the situation that starts the panic, it's not that uncommon either.

 

[Jay Be]

Your spot on chap, I used to do a lot of miles and never had any issues at all but as I have got older and don't do any where near the same distances I do find night time driving harder, not difficult but just a tad more testing if that's the best word.
I think it's that loss of regular usage that's is part of the cause , everything is moving along at an increasing pace on roads but if you don't do anywhere near the milage on a regular basis you tend to become almost under pressure to keep up with the flow.....well I know what I mean.
Sometimes its just that feeling your not in full control of the situation that starts the panic, it's not the uncommon either.

Yeah I didn’t realise how common it is. I think either it’s becoming more common or people are more open. I didn’t tell anyone one ages as I was a bit embarrassed to be honest.

 

[Crazyfool]

Your spot on chap, I used to do a lot of miles and never had any issues at all but as I have got older and don't do any where near the same distances I do find night time driving harder, not difficult but just a tad more testing if that's the best word.
I think it's that loss of regular usage that's is part of the cause , everything is moving along at an increasing pace on roads but if you don't do anywhere near the milage on a regular basis you tend to become almost under pressure to keep up with the flow.....well I know what I mean.
Sometimes its just that feeling your not in full control of the situation that starts the panic, it's not the uncommon either.

There are so many controls in place now (smart motorways, signalised junctions, etc) to try and make driving easier, but with increased volume and more reliable cars, it’s becoming increasingly daunting. The roads into London from the west are a perfect example. If you are not doing 90mph+ on the M40, you are driving at a snails pace, the M4 is always heavily congested and the M3 is a combination of both. It takes a bit of getting used to, particularly if you don’t drive it all the time.

I found advance driver training really useful. I was based in the south west at the time, so I got to drive the countryside, small villages and motorways of Devon. I learned so much in the day about defensive driving. I would recommend it to anyone.


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[DrEskimo]

Yeah I didn’t realise how common it is. I think either it’s becoming more common or people are more open. I didn’t tell anyone one ages as I was a bit embarrassed to be honest.

Mental health issues are unfortunately very common. I’ve dealt with anxiety for a good few years so can sympathise. You spend years thinking you’re alone and that how you feel is daft and that everyone is just getting on with their lives whilst you struggle with something that you know is irrational. Reality is, as soon as you start talking with people you realise that a lot of people are dealing with something of their own.

I would urge you to try things like mindfulness, exposure therapy and anything that you find works for you really. I find that being more open about mine does really help, and as above, being forced into having to deal with it is very effective for me. I tried CBT, and while I learned some hints about my cognitive bias’ and things, I didn’t find it all that helpful and worked on my own strategies. Most forms around anxitey will involve a form of exposure therapy, whereby you are introduced to the situation slowly and taught to understand your psychological and physiological response.

I know for me, if I could avoid the situation if given the choice, I would! Over weeks/months/years it just builds up and becomes a bigger issue. So I agree very much with the above. The more you confront the issue, the more you can address it I feel. The more you can rationalise and replace the fear response. Whether you do this in your own way, or with the help of a psychologist is up to you (or find an entirely different way to manage it!).

Opening up on here was a very big step, and I’m wishing you the best going forward buddy. You’re certainly not alone

 

[Charlie Farley]

yep, I live on the outskirts of Guildford so very close to all the really main routes in to London, I rarely go into town now but used a lot years back and never found it a problem , but now I don't need to drive to work as I work from , when I do need to I'll go out of rush hour periods to avoid getting wound up etc, that said I can drive upto Scotland in one hit no probs and the same to cumbria and back the same day without any probs, but then traffic flow and other drivers lane control vary a lot around the country.
around surrey its madness all the time......

 

[Crazyfool]

Mental health issues are unfortunately very common. I’ve dealt with anxiety for a good few years so can sympathise. You spend years thinking you’re alone and that how you feel is daft and that everyone is just getting on with their lives whilst you struggle with something that you know is irrational. Reality is, as soon as you start talking with people you realise that a lot of people are dealing with something of their own.

I would urge you to try things like mindfulness, exposure therapy and anything that you find works for you really. I find that being more open about mine does really help, and as above, being forced into having to deal with it is very effective for me. I tried CBT, and while I learned some hints about my cognitive bias’ and things, I didn’t find it all that helpful and worked on my own strategies. Most forms around anxitey will involve a form of exposure therapy, whereby you are introduced to the situation slowly and taught to understand your psychological and physiological response.

I know for me, if I could avoid the situation if given the choice, I would! Over weeks/months/years it just builds up and becomes a bigger issue. So I agree very much with the above. The more you confront the issue, the more you can address it I feel. The more you can rationalise and replace the fear response. Whether you do this in your own way, or with the help of a psychologist is up to you (or find an entirely different way to manage it!).

Opening up on here was a very big step, and I’m wishing you the best going forward buddy. You’re certainly not alone

I couldn’t agree more. Totally different scenario, but I was stressed at work and it was my manager who suggested I use the employee assistance programme. The most important thing I got out of my sessions was never to bottle my thoughts up. Unfortunately my wife went through a similar scenario to me not long afterwards and it’s really made us talk to each other more about our issues.

The more you talk, the better you feel, but don’t avoid the situation. Take it head on!


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[Charlie Farley]

Its like they allways say, "its good to talk" even if it may not seem like one needs to.....

 

[Dan_G]

I have suffered from anxiety for about 5 years, and had a few panic attacks – not whilst driving, but on public transport and busy, noise places such as supermarkets – basically places I feel trapped in.

I am fit, healthy, have a good job and generally not a worry the world. I do have some longer term personal stress around my ex which, I think, has slowly built into a general anxiety.

I am now a strong believer that general anxiety leads to these panic attacks – what your trigger is, you will have to figure out, but by trying to manage the general anxiety you can avoid the attacks.

In terms of managing the overall anxiety which causes these panic attacks, I have a few things that have worked, and worked well, for me:

1. Exercise. This is a way for clearing the mind, blowing away the cobwebs and worry and enjoying life. I run at least 3 times a week, distances between 5km to 10km – I don’t want to do more and don’t have that much time to be honest. But it works and then release of endorphins after a run is a superb feeling of happiness. Gym and swimming also does this.

2. Caffeine, or lack of it. Looking back at the really bad times, I was searching for a reason, as I am sure you have done as to why I was so jittery? Why did things feel so tense? And then it struck me that I was drinking a couple of large, strong cappuccinos a day, sometimes even 3 on a tough / dull work day. Caffeine definitely makes you more tense and therefore more likely to be jittery and become panicky. Since cutting out all caffeine I have become far more relaxed. It was an overnight transition.

3. Sleep. Long term anxiety is also linked to the development of depression. Sleep is great at combatting both, so make sure you are getting exercise, avoiding caffeine and booze and what will follow will be long 8 hours a night sleeps which will recharge you and, again, reduce the jittery feeling that living off adrenaline causes.

 

[lauragorf]

I stumbled upon this thread from a few years back about driving anxiety, and I've got to say, it's amazing how timeless these conversations can be.

 

[45bvtc]

I'm shocked! I have driven all over the world: China, Japan, India, Canada, Netherlands, France, Germany, Italy even Scotland and Wales, and in 'quick' machinery, and have NEVER felt anything like this. I genuinely feel for you!

I'm still driving our own SQ5, RS3 and TT roadster, and am way way closer to 80-years of age than I'd like!

I truly hope you ALL overcome...

I am truly SHOCKED reading this.

WELL done ALL of you for contributing, I'm just overwhelmed, would NEVER have thought...

I mean, I can, and have, and do(!) jump into anything and give it due dilligence, this just shocks me...

I feel for you guys

 

[OliverHuntx]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to start a discussion around driving anxiety. It’s not something that is openly talked about often so as part of this community I just wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone else has had similar experiences etc.

Some of you may know (seen me on the B9 A4/S4 section) that I drive a 2018 S4 so I love cars and always have since I was a kid. I’m always changing cars and always following what’s going on in the industry. However, for the last few years I’ve been trying to beat driving anxiety, believe it or not. It’s something that out of the blue hit me and made life a bit more difficult.

I never had a problem and loved driving, although at times the motorway made me a tad nervous especially with roadworks, unlit and high speeds. However one night, I had a mini panic attack on the motorway and then on a dual carriageway. For 6 months I couldn’t go near either without feeling I’m going to go crazy. Now, I’m back on and although I’m not completely 100%, I’m not far off what I used to be. It was so difficult to overcome especially when you see people not even batter an eyelid at.

Anyway, with this being a car forum as I was just curious to see if anyone else had experiences to share or any input. As everyone seems to be car lovers here, I didn’t think there’d be too many, but I wanted to share anyway Nox Vidmate VLC

Do you mind sharing what the mini panic attack was that kicked it all off? Are we talking of a driving problem, ie a near accident or something else.

 

[Audi Bairn]

Do you mind sharing what the mini panic attack was that kicked it all off? Are we talking of a driving problem, ie a near accident or something else.

Unfortunately the post was 5 years ago and the poster hasn’t been seen on here for 4.5 yrs

 

[jdp1962]

I stumbled upon this thread from a few years back about driving anxiety, and I've got to say, it's amazing how timeless these conversations can be.

I agree; in recent times, as I entered my sixties, I've found night-time driving more challenging than before, especially heavy during traffic in well-lit areas with lots of visual distractions. I thought that after 30 years of living in the most congested area of the country (insde the M25) lifw would be easier when I moved to England's most sparsely populated county. All was going well until for about a fortnight on deserted roads until I managed not to notice a car coming down from the left when turning right on to a dual carriageway, and had my first accident in 44 years of until then blemish-free driving. A glancing blow between my front nearside and the other car's rear offside caused over £10K of damage to both cars, and knocked hell out of my self-confidence. Suddenly, I began doubting myself and second-guessing every junction instead of just releyting on my experience and inherent judgement.

Four mnoths later, I'm gradually getting back to "normal" and learning to trust my instrinct again. But boy did that little glancing blow mess with my head!

 

[Charlie Farley]

You are not alone chap, it is a very common occurrence and more so as one gets older.
Its that change from the excepted norm which one has become almost programmed for a better word, to something very different.
Life in a bustling city for a considerable time period then moving into a much slower pace one doesn't always adjust as expected, you are not alone.

Ones brain almost drops to a lower pace and all that entails inc driving, and driving in the countryside can be filled with danger, situation can appear from knowere and catch a driver out very easily.
Its something that you will adjust too chap, just takes a little while to accept what parts of your driving and thought process need to adjust to your new environment, also being a more mature driver may just mean things take a bit longer.
Once youve lose confidence in driving it can have a lasting effect so always a good idea to keep on top of it and not avoid driving.

I used to do a lot of nighttime driving over a lot of miles without any problem, about 12 months after I stopped and the need to venture out into the dark driving stopped I lost my confidence, it just happens, I have regained control of it now but I don't enjoy it in the same way if that makes sense, and no way do i take the bikes out at night in the dark.

 

[mstv]

I'm so glad you posted about this, as it's something that has impacted me over the years. I do a relatively high mileage, covering between 400 and 750 miles a week commuting. I've done this for 23 years! Around 20 years ago I had an accident which was deemed to be my fault. It was as much my fault as the other driver's fault, we each could have avoided the incident if we'd been more careful. I was in shock when the very kind local policeman asked me whether the sun had been in my eyes, and instead explained truthfully that I'd been distracted and might have avoided it if I'd been more careful. I had to go to court and got 6 points and a fine. By this time it was late November.

I had a hire care as a replacement whilst mine was in a bodyshop. I was driving down to Hampshire a few times in the run up to Christmas, and as I went into the local town where I was working, noticed a few times various white vans parked to the side of the road with doors open and equipment in the back - looking like surveying kit or cameras. After a few times seeing these, I realised they were safety camera vans. At the time, they weren't as obviously marked, and were newly in use (at least the first time I'd seen them).

So having gone past these things in a 30mph limit a few times, without realising what they were, and with a hire care supplied via the insurers chosen by my company's lease provider, I was 3 or 4 steps of delay away from getting any notifications of intended prosecution, and heading into a Christmas holiday. At that point I hoped that I wasn't doing more than 30mph, but couldn't be sure enough to know there wasn't going to be a problem. With 6 points already on my license, I pretty quickly convinced myself that I:

• Would have been speeding - so was going to get more points and therefore lose my license....
• Would then be unable to commute to the various client locations where I worked - so would lose my job...
• Would be unable to pay the mortgage on the house in the location we'd chosen to live that caused the long commute...

It ruined our Christmas holiday, as I was a nervous wreck for the whole period and far beyond. It started a phobia of driving and ESPECIALLY speed cameras of all kinds, that lasted for years. Even when the points came off my license and the conviction was spent, it didn't change although I felt at least somewhat better. When I changed jobs and had to commute into outer London - it got worse again, as there were so many more cameras and the route much more complex.

Thankfully, for another reason, I sought help from a hypnotherapist. She helped me see a great many things in perspective and this helped me come to terms with the fact that even if any of these risks were to happen, it was not going to be the end of the world. Over time, I have been able to enjoy driving again which is good because I do a great deal of it!

So I have a great deal of sympathy for anyone who suffers from driving anxiety, and if you have the chance to get some help, take it. I have been wondering about the Institute of Advanced Motoring qualifications as one way to help reassure myself and get more training - has anyone done this to combat anxiety?

Jay - I hope you continue to gain confidence and feel better - and thank you for raising this issue in this forum.

 

[BigBlue_1]

I have a friend who this happened to. It started with an unrelated accident (not in his car) but it left him generally nervous about operating machines. He's managed to get over almost all of this apart from the driving. His car got stolen (this was sometime after this all started) and he's never replaced it. Not sure he ever will

 

[jipace9973]

Thought it was only me...sighs

 

[jipace9973]

I have come to notice that

 

[jipace9973]

Most times, it's because of

 

[jipace9973]

Stress for me

 

[jipace9973]

And overthinking

 

[jipace9973]

I don't drink while driving

 

[jipace9973]

Or smoke too

 

[jipace9973]

But when ever I am in my feelings, I tend to just stare at a particular spot while driving

 

[jipace9973]

Just be thinking about so many things and grateful

 

[jipace9973]

That I am not dead or had broken bones or can't move my body at all
Because

 

[jipace9973]

Because it is deep that anything