Cyclists.....

smitch

Registered User
Got stuck behind a load of those Lycra'd up ponces on racers this morning on the way to work down some country road.

Why do they insist on riding 2 abreast and blocking the whole f*cking road????

Selfish b*stards. :mad:
 

Randomjim

Registered User
I had that this morning too, just what you wanna see when you've got a hangover. Some 60 year old *** in lycra............ nice!
 

Randomjim

Registered User
Maybe would be a long race though, they were in goodwood when i saw them.

I think they should pay road tax :)
 

smitch

Registered User
Pretty much anyone who is isn't me and is driving slower than i want to on any road i happen to be on gets on my tits.

But cyclists on racers riding right across the road thinking they've got more right than i have to be on it do take the lead.
 

FactionOne

Administrator
Staff member
Administrator
Raaaaaaaaaaah!

I've gotten used to nothing but motorway cruising lately, so I'd forgotten all the annoyances of the open road... Today however I've covered some distance on A and B roads, and oh my word how many groups of cyclists did I encounter riding two or three deep in the middle of the road?!? AAAAAARGH!!!

Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against cyclists and cycling in general, I spent a lot of time bouncing around the bowland area as I used to cross-country a bit, but whenever I was on the road I accepted that vehicular traffic deserves to be given room.

I had bikers pulling all the clever stunts today too... Nailing it up the inside of me in a left-turn only lane to go straight-on like the rest of us in the queue; then nipping in and almost taking themselves out on my n/s/f wing. ...And if the worst had happened and there was a guy in shredded leathers with four rings stamped into him lying in the road who would've been the dangerous driver?!? GRRRRRRRRRRR!

Regards,

Rob.
 

Onlyme

Registered User
I thought it was against the law to ride two abreast
 

AndyMac

Active Member
The ******** should definately have insurance, especially horse riders (which is still just optional!!!).
How on earth are you allowed to take a vehicle on the public road that weighs half a tonne and which you have no real control over?
 

Rich

Rollin on boost mother hubbards
The worst, IMO, is the stupid cyclist that wobbles around in the road. Occasionaly swerving from near the curb to the middle of the road meaning you can't overtake until the on-comming lane is empty for fear he'll randomly swerve into you.

And shop mobility type things as well - these should def not be allowed on main roads. A couple of times now I've come round a roundabout to be greeted by some old dear in a mobility scooter chipping up the road at 5mph.. The danger with them is they are so low down and rarely have/use lights a lot of people wouldnt even see them, and they are about the slowest thing you'd find on the road.
 

smitch

Registered User
Onlyme said:
I thought it was against the law to ride two abreast

****** should be.

I wouldn't take the risk if i was a cyclist, i don't think it would do my car much damage if i hit one but i don't think Lycra would fair too well against tarmac.

Selfish, self important, ignorant tossers.
 

Hotscar

Four Wheel Drifting
smitch said:
****** should be.

I wouldn't take the risk if i was a cyclist, i don't think it would do my car much damage if i hit one but i don't think Lycra would fair too well against tarmac.

Selfish, self important, ignorant tossers.

You Muppet!! I cycle to work everyday and have no issue with car users apart from the occasional d!ck that thinks driving like a numpy will get him through London quicker than anyone else (sounds like you). If you hit a cyclist who will get charged for driving without due care and attention...tw@t!

I don't agree with two abreast but let's not tar us all with the same brush.
 

Hotscar

Four Wheel Drifting
smitch said:
i don't think it would do my car much damage if i hit one but i don't think Lycra would fair too well against tarmac.

And if you had a brain you'd realise I was referring to this simple-minded quote!
 

Biglockie

Aye you know it makes sense
fingermouse said:
now horse riders thats annoying

Only the ones that dont wave or thank you for slowing down,a nd just give youa dirty look AAARRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH that annoys me soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

rant over thank you for listening:lmfao:
 

smitch

Registered User
Hotscar.....

It's the truth. I wouldn't have thought Lycra would offer much protection.

Living in west London you obviously don't do much driving on country roads early on Sunday mornings, packs of em weave about all over straight roads avoiding imaginary obstacles and generally coming too close to the side of your car

They've got some sort of deathwish.
 

C_Audiboy

Vroom Vroom
They get way too close for comfort trying to squeeze between the traffic.

I'm just waiting for one day that the pedals will scratch my paint when they squeeze through, or they'll knock the wing mirror with the handlebars.

Then, I'll go and buy an old Mitsubishi Shogun with a big fekin bullbar, that'll teach them :asskicking:
 

Hotscar

Four Wheel Drifting
There's far too much intelligence on this site...
 

Just Plain Old

Registered User
cyclists are a pain in the ****, that's for sure, BUT. The real menace on the roads is.............. CARAVANS!!
 

rodenal

Registered User
I'm particularly unfond of the smacked up junkies who wander out into the middle of the road in the centre of glasgow, just as i happen to be passing.

tossers
 

Rich

Rollin on boost mother hubbards
Ha, reminds me last night I was driving up my mates road and some chavvy kids where walking in the road, spread out thinking they where hard or somthing by blocking the road, so I rev the engine and beep a bit and they move out the way, with cries of "TOSSER!" "******!" etc etc etc.

So on the way out I see them standing at the bus stop and spray my windscreen washers while driving close. Totally sprayed them with chemical cleaners! BLAM THATS HOW I RIDE. MESS WITH ME AND YOU MIGHT FIND YOURSELF SPRAYED SLIGHTLY WITH WATER!

That showed them.
 

Rich

Rollin on boost mother hubbards
haha, it is mate. We call it Basingrad :p

Nah, I've just got a friend who lives in Bedwell and his crazy gangsta talk has rubbed off on me.
 

C_Audiboy

Vroom Vroom
rodenal said:
I'm particularly unfond of the smacked up junkies who wander out into the middle of the road in the centre of glasgow, just as i happen to be passing.

tossers

Yeah I'm with you there!!!

They can usually be heard saying..... "Awe just hod own a minite ya rocket"
 

smitch

Registered User
Just Plain Old said:
cyclists are a pain in the ****, that's for sure, BUT. The real menace on the roads is.............. CARAVANS!!

You don't have to deal with the half breeds on a daily basis!!!

I sell the f*ckers!
 

unkle

Beer God
Horses are the worst...unless theres posh totty riding them in tight riding gear...
 
smitch said:
... packs of em weave about all over straight roads avoiding imaginary obstacles and generally coming too close to the side of your car

They've got some sort of deathwish.
I can possibly explain that one. A group of cyclists weaving are most likely avoiding something in the road - e.g. a pothole, drain cover, debris etc. which given the high quality state of our roads can easily knacker a wheel.

I agree with most of the points on here - cycling two abreast is wrong, weaving in and out of traffic is wrong, cycling through red lights is wrong. It annoys me when I see other cyclists doing this.

When I cycle I stake my claim to the road - I cycle slightly aggressively (I feel that you have to so that you don't spend your time in the gutter) but not stupidly. You only get one life.
 

auditek

Registered User
i cycle and agree with some of the posts here, im sure it is against the law to ride 2 abreast, if i was a cop i would be charging anyone i seen 2 up... also you do get some prix who dont move over and nearly knock u off, i take their number incase i see them parked up somewhere and i can stick glue in their locks...
 

Onlyme

Registered User
Well seeming as it was such a great day down sourth ( hosepipe ban soon ) I decided to get my old bike out ( not the wife ) and decided to go for a nice bike ride, well i must admit its been a good few years since I last went out for a bike ride and i must admit I was rather nervous as theres more cars on the road since i was a nipper. So anyway there I was minding my own buisness when some bald headed idiot cuts me up by the traffic lights that were at red, I nearly fell off me bike and was so glad i had my crash helmet on, anyway the twat had his roof down, so seeming as i was on my Penny Farthing and we were sat at the lights i pulled down my lycra trousers and pants, there was a bit of chaffing and static dischard, but anyway i managed to do a right big Mr Whippy on the numptys head and hastily peddled away my escape before he knew what had hit him right in the middle of his bald pate the swine.
 

Hotscar

Four Wheel Drifting
Onlyme said:
Well seeming as it was such a great day down sourth ( hosepipe ban soon ) I decided to get my old bike out ( not the wife ) and decided to go for a nice bike ride, well i must admit its been a good few years since I last went out for a bike ride and i must admit I was rather nervous as theres more cars on the road since i was a nipper. So anyway there I was minding my own buisness when some bald headed idiot cuts me up by the traffic lights that were at red, I nearly fell off me bike and was so glad i had my crash helmet on, anyway the twat had his roof down, so seeming as i was on my Penny Farthing and we were sat at the lights i pulled down my lycra trousers and pants, there was a bit of chaffing and static dischard, but anyway i managed to do a right big Mr Whippy on the numptys head and hastily peddled away my escape before he knew what had hit him right in the middle of his bald pate the swine.

Get on your bike more often...you seriously need to get out more!
 

coupe-se

Registered User
Rich said:
And shop mobility type things as well - these should def not be allowed on main roads.

One of our customers who is slightly eccentric and rather too fond of the odd shandy was moaning to me a while back.

His local pub was shut for a refurb ............. so in desperation for a drink ............ took to the A1 in his mobility scooter to drive 5 miles to the next village and have a drink there!!:faint:

He'd only got a couple of miles before the boys in blue turned up and pulled him over for a 'word'. Best of it was he was well pi$$ed off with the police for stopping getting in between him and a drinking session.
 

Onlyme

Registered User
Silver I reckon thats the blokes age on the front of his bike.

I do get out more, I go looking for cyclists two abreast so that my mate can push the one on the outer into the one on the inside and then roll about laughing when they crash into a hedgerow.
 

nivagh

Registered User
Gotta say that owning a racer myself a certain amount of weaving is indeed a requirement on many roads due to the state of the potholes, drains, manhole covers and other general detritis lying in the road.

Give a cyclist an extra metre and they will probably be grateful - if you pass a cyclist at 60mph the air pressure between the car and the cyclist is low enough to pull them in towards the car - have had a couple of iffy moments due to inconsiderate drivers.

Yes I'm opening myself up to getting flamed here, but I will generally pootle along at about 25 on my bike - even if you have to ease off a little to manage passing me at a safer point in the road, is it really going to ruin your day more than having to stop when you knock somebody into the gutter?

(That said, if you spot somebody cycling on a pavement / jumping a red light / failing to stop at a pedestrian crossing / going the wrong way up a one way street, feel free to hurl abuse, apple cores, etc.)
 

ManicMunky

Registered User
Horses should be in fields, or burgers.... but not on the road. The amount that I see every day is ridiculous.

And cyclists on the road, yes two abreast is illegal. Horses do it too. Nivagh, on the roads here it's hard to give an extra foot, never mind a metre.
 
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