Yesterday morning a pigeon flew across the front of my S3 at low level. No bang but it got sucked under the car and ejected out the back in a big puff of feathers. Very pretty. Checked the car, no damage done, phew! Audi 1 - Pigeon 0
So last night bringing back a curry I'm doing warp 9+ down a dual carriageway and damn it there's another pigeon sat in the middle of the road.
OK no sweat, same thing as last time just go over the top and it can do its own impression of supermario between the road and the underside of my car.
Oh no! In whatever passes for a brain in these feckwits decides it will take flight. Well it wasn't a racing pigeon I can tell you that as it only managed to get a couple of feet in the air before bang. Another cascade of feathers and lo and behold, what do I see at the end of the bonnet - a now probably well deceased feathered muppet.
So I slowed down a bit, checked my mirrors and stamped the brakes a few times to see if I could eject it, nope nothing doing. I know some people find nodding dogs in their car quite funny, I now had a nodding pigeon lolling around up front - búgger.
So I get home, first things first - the oven gets put on and the curry placed in oven to keep warm.
I then grab a bin bag and some kitchen roll and walk to the front of the car to be faced by the carnage...
What I am staring at is the head and two feet of the critter all facing forward.
I can't say it had a look of surprise on its face, rest of it was in and around the grill smack bang in the centre where the bonnet catch is. Twas a sight to behold.
I got most of it cleared out last night but had to finish the clean up operation this morning. Audi 2 Pigeons 0
I had some funny looks from the neighbours as I was scrubbing the engine bay wearing surgical gloves and depositing blooded kitchen towels and cloths into a bin bag, all very Dexter I'm sure.
FYI, dettol kitchen cleaner with antibacterial ingredients worked a treat, getting rid of those stubborn, baked on pigeon gizzards. I also recommend the use of a scouring pad in these situations.
I then inspected the grill and there is a crack in it. Also one of the vertical silver bars is missing - I'm wondering if the pigeon had a wingman who stole it? May have to go back to the scene of the crime.. we'll see. Audi 2 Pigeons 1
Not sure what the chances are of two bird strikes in one day ?? Good job I'm not an airline pilot!
Finally, to answer the obvious and pressing question - did I manage to eat and enjoy my chicken curry - absolutely, wasn't going to let a bewinged bampot spoil my evening.
So last night bringing back a curry I'm doing warp 9+ down a dual carriageway and damn it there's another pigeon sat in the middle of the road.
OK no sweat, same thing as last time just go over the top and it can do its own impression of supermario between the road and the underside of my car.
Oh no! In whatever passes for a brain in these feckwits decides it will take flight. Well it wasn't a racing pigeon I can tell you that as it only managed to get a couple of feet in the air before bang. Another cascade of feathers and lo and behold, what do I see at the end of the bonnet - a now probably well deceased feathered muppet.
So I slowed down a bit, checked my mirrors and stamped the brakes a few times to see if I could eject it, nope nothing doing. I know some people find nodding dogs in their car quite funny, I now had a nodding pigeon lolling around up front - búgger.
So I get home, first things first - the oven gets put on and the curry placed in oven to keep warm.
I then grab a bin bag and some kitchen roll and walk to the front of the car to be faced by the carnage...
What I am staring at is the head and two feet of the critter all facing forward.
I can't say it had a look of surprise on its face, rest of it was in and around the grill smack bang in the centre where the bonnet catch is. Twas a sight to behold.
I got most of it cleared out last night but had to finish the clean up operation this morning. Audi 2 Pigeons 0
I had some funny looks from the neighbours as I was scrubbing the engine bay wearing surgical gloves and depositing blooded kitchen towels and cloths into a bin bag, all very Dexter I'm sure.
FYI, dettol kitchen cleaner with antibacterial ingredients worked a treat, getting rid of those stubborn, baked on pigeon gizzards. I also recommend the use of a scouring pad in these situations.
I then inspected the grill and there is a crack in it. Also one of the vertical silver bars is missing - I'm wondering if the pigeon had a wingman who stole it? May have to go back to the scene of the crime.. we'll see. Audi 2 Pigeons 1
Not sure what the chances are of two bird strikes in one day ?? Good job I'm not an airline pilot!
Finally, to answer the obvious and pressing question - did I manage to eat and enjoy my chicken curry - absolutely, wasn't going to let a bewinged bampot spoil my evening.
