SnoopS3
You cant beat German
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2008
- Messages
- 69
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 6
I keep having my profile on that dating website 'Match.com' rejected.
One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'.
Apparently 'my c*ck' is not an acceptable answer.
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A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got one
minute to get out!'
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you c*nt!'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
why are women like clouds? eventually they f*ck off
and its a really
nice day
------------------------------------------------------------------
Whats the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I
please have a KitKat
Chunky?'
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky
and brings it back to
him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you
fat b*tch.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought
me one of these mood
rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it
turns green and, when I
am in a bad mood, it leaves a big f*cking red mark
on her forehead.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to
me and asked to
check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zebo, a half blind five year old south african
orphan, has to ride 7
miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle
with buckled wheels
and no brakes. Give just a small donation of 2 dollars
and we'll send you
the video, it's f*cking hilarious....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate
habit of eating shuttlecocks.
Bad minton.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My
mother-in-law is an
angel'. His mate replies 'You're so f*cking lucky...
Mine is still
alive...'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on
suicide.
The librarian says; 'F*ck off, you won't bring it
back.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco
Machine. He lasts over
10 minutes.
'Crikey mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My
Wife's epileptic'
One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'.
Apparently 'my c*ck' is not an acceptable answer.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got one
minute to get out!'
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you c*nt!'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
why are women like clouds? eventually they f*ck off
and its a really
nice day
------------------------------------------------------------------
Whats the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I
please have a KitKat
Chunky?'
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky
and brings it back to
him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you
fat b*tch.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought
me one of these mood
rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it
turns green and, when I
am in a bad mood, it leaves a big f*cking red mark
on her forehead.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to
me and asked to
check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zebo, a half blind five year old south african
orphan, has to ride 7
miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle
with buckled wheels
and no brakes. Give just a small donation of 2 dollars
and we'll send you
the video, it's f*cking hilarious....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate
habit of eating shuttlecocks.
Bad minton.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My
mother-in-law is an
angel'. His mate replies 'You're so f*cking lucky...
Mine is still
alive...'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on
suicide.
The librarian says; 'F*ck off, you won't bring it
back.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco
Machine. He lasts over
10 minutes.
'Crikey mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My
Wife's epileptic'
(Andy D's wife)just not my cup of tea not a prude or anything just didnt find them funny sorry mate
for what it's worth I liked them!
