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  1. Joetidman

    Stopping pigeons pooing on car

    So having moved to a lovely new house recently with a large tree in the front garden, the only down side is the near constant amount of pigeon s*^t on my two Audi’s every week. Sometimes almost immediately after hosing it off, they defecate all over it again and it’s driving me crazy. Cutting...
  2. Joetidman

    Apple CarPlay not working with iPhone XS Max

    Sadly my S5 sport back is refusing to work with my new XS Max phone on iOS12. It seems to think the phone is connected correctly, but basically I get a black screen inside the car, and can’t perform any functions. Any ideas? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  3. Joetidman

    Carbon rear spoiler and bike rack

    Couple of questions...anyone bought/fitted the optional carbon tailgate spoiler from the accessory book? Also anyone managed to get a bike rack for the rear of the car that will fit an S5 Sportback without damaging it? I don’t want a roof rack ideally Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  4. Joetidman

    Flood water damage to my S5...

    So so gutted. I drove through some floodwater in Suffolk on my way home yesterday, that many other people where going through, and it damaged the plastic shield plates under the car. Called Audi help and an AA guy came out, took the plates off (which went in the back of my car), and then I drove...
  5. Joetidman

    Vibrating brakes

    So after a week of the car not used whilst I was in the US with work, I drove it today and noticed the brakes vibrating slightly and making a bit of a rumbling noise. After 10 mins or so it faded away but returned when I drove home. Only other thing to mention is the heavy rain we’ve had the...
  6. Joetidman

    Full professional polish in Hertfordshire

    Anyone got any recommendations for a service where I can get a full body machine polish to take out swirls etc in Hertfordshire? I presume it will take more than a day so somewhere where I won’t fear handing over my keys to but won’t cost the earth would be ideal. My S5 is only a year old but...
  7. Joetidman

    Replacement OEM S5 Chrome tips

    So after not nearly a year in, and despite intermittent care with Autosol, I think one of my tips is already corroded beyond repair...anyone know where I might buy a replacement and if it’s easy to pull off and attach a new one? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  8. Joetidman

    Bonnet locking error message

    Properly ****** off this morning, as I took my car to the garage for fuel, and topped up my screen wash. Came out later and had a warning message saying the bonnet was not closed or locked. Have opened and shut it several times as well as switching the car off and on, but still getting the same...
  9. Joetidman

    Winter tyres + Quattro = Awesome

    The title says it all. I got some winter tyres fitted about two weeks ago and this was the first time out in proper snow with them this morning on my S5. Quite deep slush and snow with other drivers struggling (especially a local BMW 2-series coupe all over the shop). Honestly it was amazing. I...
  10. Joetidman

    Winter tyre question

    I’m considering sticking winter tyres on my S5 this year, as Audi offer a free tyre hotel, and over 3-4 years I should get my money’s worth (as my summer tyres will not be used for several months each year and last longer). After enquiringly, the only option of tyre for my current 19inch alloys...
  11. Joetidman

    Engine management fault S5

    So I got this randomly today. Was sat with handbrake on so took a quick photo (ignore Magic FM, I was scrolling through channels...honest ;)) It actually restricted my engine RPM (which I actually thought was pretty cool) No engine sound change, or anything, so I assumed it was a software...
  12. Joetidman

    Parking brake warning message

    So I’ve had this message come up twice at random times just after I’d stopped. It was something about Parking Brake error please check the manual. Both times it flashed up for about 2-3 seconds then disappeared before I could get a photo. Nothing remains on the DIS after as if it never happened...
  13. Joetidman

    Driving in France, automatic highlights?

    I'm driving my S5 to France next week, and was under the impression that the satnav would detect I was there and adjust the headlights automatically so I don't blind people or get pulled over by the Fuzz, is that right? Do in need to do anything in the car when going abroad? Sent from my...
  14. Joetidman

    S4 Performance figures

    I found this in a Audi Driver magazine and thought people might be interested. I like the in-gear figures and comparisons to similar models over the years Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  15. Joetidman

    How do I make my S5 louder without breaking warranty?

    So I love my S5, and the noises it makes, but I want more, MORE I tell you :) So a couple of questions...how do I maximise the burbles and crackles with everything stock? Is there an optimum gear, transition etc that gets the best cracks? Will the noises get better with time or stay the same...
  16. Joetidman

    eSIM issue

    Hi, I've noticed this weekend I'm starting to get intermittent eSIM errors coming up saying something like SIM not detected, please insert new SIM. It then disappears after a second or two and then might reappear after a while . Not had it until this weekend. Any ideas? I will try and get a...
  17. Joetidman

    Audi beam 4 rings aftermarket

    So I believe you can easily add these to the car aftermarket OEM, but I'm not sure if that applies to the MY17 S5 and A5. If so can someone advise and also the part number etc needed? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  18. Joetidman

    Average BHP and 0-60 in UK...

    Bit of a random question that I've never been able to answer is around the 'average' BHP and related 0-60/acceleration on cars in the UK. There has been a trend towards downsized engines but more and more power over the years with even superminis packing 200bhp these days. However there are also...
  19. Joetidman

    Worth getting extra SIM for in-car wifi

    I have the 3 years Audi connect pack in my car which has an eSIM but also an extra SIM slot for a data SIM I guess to make the car have in-car wifi hotspot. Just wondering if anyone has done this and whether they thing its worth the cost? The alternative I guess is just to tether my kids iPads...
  20. Joetidman

    Running in an S5

    Anyone know what the manual says you have to do? No more than 4K revs for 1000 miles of something? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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