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bainsyboy Apr 22, 2006

  1. bainsyboy

    bainsyboy Guest

    ( got this off another forum, The woman that posted its, other half is serving in the Royal Navy and they are due to get married this year, shes been posting for months that she is missing him etc etc and he sends her this )

    Subject: Rules during the World Cup 2006
    Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives,
    girlfriends, fianc├ęs, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
    general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in
    June/July this year...


    1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the
    newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World
    Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you
    fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
    totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any
    exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will
    lose it (your eye).

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind,
    as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If
    you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on
    right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to
    the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
    refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
    expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick
    up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
    fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please
    do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the
    games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am,
    unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

    6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is
    losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry,
    they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me
    angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more
    about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will
    only lead to a break up or divorce.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me
    during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
    halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"
    game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend
    time together".

    8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have
    seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
    9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related
    parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    b) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.

    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch
    a game, we will be there in a flash.

    11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
    important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you
    have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we
    can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

    12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World
    Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this
    comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier
    League, etc etc.

    Thank you for your cooperation.


    Men of the World
  2. pwnorman

    pwnorman Member

    Think i'll be copying this and giving it to my bird and copy's to all my mates other halfs.
  3. The Slug

    The Slug Active Member

    [ QUOTE ]
    Think i'll be copying this and giving it to my bird and copy's to all my mates other halfs.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Ditto, lol
  4. TDI-line

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore Team Floret Silver quattro Audi A3 Black Edition TDi

    Very good. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
  5. bainsyboy

    bainsyboy Guest

    Rolled up when i read it, i belong to a holiday forum site and like i said she is due to get married, her other half is in the navy and everytime he is due to come back home he gets posted somewhere else, so she has been banging on about missing him etc for the last couple of months and all the other women on the site been saying how sad it is etc that he keeps getting posted elsewhere and then he sends her the above, ill keep you up to date on there marriage plans.
  6. fallmonk

    fallmonk Turbo Sport

    brilliant mate !

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