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Womens Revenge.................

hop2407 Sep 8, 2005

  1. hop2407

    hop2407 Active Member

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    Women...... Dont u just luv 'em....... (NOT)

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
    As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
    "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
    "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
    and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


    UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
    (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

    I know I'm not going to understand women.
    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
    pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
    and still be afraid of a spider.



    CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
    The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
    He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
    She directs him down the correct aisle.
    A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
    balls and a ball of string on the counter.
    She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
    He answers, " You see, it's like this,
    yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
    and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
    papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
    So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
    ( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )



    WIFE VS. HUSBAND
    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
    neither of them wanted to concede their position.
    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
    the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


    W O R D S
    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
    30,000 to a man's 15,000.
    The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


    CREATION
    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
    so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
    The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"


    WHO DOES WHAT
    A man and his wife were having an argument about who
    should brew the coffee each morning.
    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
    and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
    The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
    you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
    that the man should do the coffee."
    Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
    and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"


    The Silent Treatment
    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
    other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
    he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
    "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
    The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
    and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
    see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
    the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
    Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


    God may have created man before woman,
    but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
     
  2. TDI-line

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore Team Floret Silver quattro Audi A3 Black Edition TDi

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    Excellent, all really good. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  3. rickparmar

    rickparmar Active Member

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    lol, all good
     
  4. jdp1962

    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator TFSI Owners Group Team V6 Gold Supporter Team Tornado Audi S4 quattro Black Edition s tronic

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    Top class! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ok.gif
     

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