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Women's jokes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by TDI-line, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    [Jan 30, 2006]

    Women's Humour

    My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
    Other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good
    mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f***ing
    red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a big diamond.



    My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make
    you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I
    squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.



    A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
    happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."



    Q.:- What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A.:- A rumour.



    He said, "Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to
    you really badly." She said, "Well, you've succeeded."



    He said, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
    She said, "That's a good idea......you stand by the ironing board while
    I sit on the sofa and fart."



    He said, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I
    gave you?" She said, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat
    b****ard."



    Q.:- What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    A.:- 45 minutes



    Q.:- What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    A.:- Through his chest with a sharp knife.


    Q.:- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
    caring and good looking?
    A.:- Because those men already have boyfriends.


    Q.:- What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
    A.:- The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
    of driving.


    Q.:- What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head?
    A.:- Reload and try again!
    #1
  2. beaker
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    beaker Member

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    [Jan 30, 2006]
    Classic!
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  3. madvw
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    madvw Active Member

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    [Jan 30, 2006]
    holy $hit dude!! whose side are you on!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
    #3
  4. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    [Jan 31, 2006]
    Internal affairs mate, best to know Madvw.
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  5. beaker
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    beaker Member

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    [Jan 31, 2006]
    [ QUOTE ]
    holy $hit dude!! whose side are you on!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Ah yes!, I mean rubbish! Don't post something like that ever again /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
    #5

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