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Wife 1.0 Software Release

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by dwarfslapper, May 5, 2004.

  1. dwarfslapper
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    dwarfslapper New Member

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    Wife 1.0 Software Release


    Here is a tech dept. bulletin on your system upgrade issue:


    Dear Tech Support,
    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information.


    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 0.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the Uninstall doesn't work on
    Wife 1.0.
    Please help!


    Thanks,
    Signed,
    A Troubled User


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Dear Troubled User,
    This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely an Utilities and Entertainment program.
    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating system files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under" Warnings: Maintenance/Child Support". I recommend that you keep
    Wife 1.0. I suggest installing the background application program "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.


    Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding "General Partnership Faults(GPFs)". You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPFs tend to be somewhat cyclical, occurring approximately 28 days apart. The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:YES_DEAR because ultimately you will have to use the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Remember, the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but tends to require very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs such as Clean_and_Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0) and Do Bills 4.2. You must however be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the programNag_Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.
    I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.


    Best of luck.
    Tech Support
    #1
  2. fallmonk
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    fallmonk Turbo Sport

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    BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    #2
  3. Leddy
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    Leddy Member

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    Please note, I understand that you have experience of this already. Following a complete reboot and upgrade you were able to pass your licensed copy of Wife 1.0 onto someone else, and carried-on to use Girlfriend versions 8.0, 9.0, and 10.0 (plus additional application support from various pay-per-use services).



    I am told that Wife 2.0 is a very significant upgrade from Wife 1.0. Although it suffers from many of the same issues as Wife 1.0, its operation is somewhat more predictable than the earlier version – and you will be able to get the most out of this software by drawing on your previous experiences.



    Sadly, you may not have much choice. The software vendors inform me that Girlfriend 10.0 (which already has most of the Wife 2.0 functionality) is actually a trial license – and you will be forced to upgrade to Wife 2.0 or lose the use of Girlfriend 10.0



    Please also note that the terms of your license allow you the continued use of Daughter 1.0, which came with your Wife 1.0 installation. I understand that you should be on about version 1.9 of this software. While I have no experience of this myself I am told that the next few annual releases of the Daughter software can become particularly problematic. This is due to the Daughter software sharing some of the same core code as the Wife 1.0 software previously discussed. The software vendors (Great Creator Inc.) have committed, however, to resolve these in a further version (Daughter 1.18) due for release in a few years time.



    As you know, no manual was ever issued for the Daughter 1.0 product, but considerable help is available from the on-line user group. In particular I recommend reading “Troubleshooting Daughter 1.13” by Tim Peters. He recommends downloading and installing ‘Patience and Selective Deafness Utility Pack 1.0’, which includes a number of handy programs for dealing with particular situations. He also recommends that you are very disciplined about software support and regularly buy, download, and install the annual Daughter support packs. Be prepared to be generous about this, as Tim warns that they can be surprisingly expensive.



    One final observation – Daughter (all versions) resides in the boot sector and this software will therefore survive a full system wipe and reboot. Great Creator Inc. has us all over a barrel with this I’m afraid – so we just have to pay the support costs and cross our fingers.



    I don’t recall the software sales-woman telling us about this when we signed up.
    #3

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