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When it comes to money.....

Discussion in 'Rants & Raves' started by jojo, Jan 11, 2012.

  1. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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    .... you can't even trust your own family!

    I had to recover some money off a nephew of mine for someone, I told him straight that if he was struggling in some way, to just let me know straight up so I can help him. So I get the call that he has some money to give me, so should be easy as pie. He hands me some money to which I stupidly didn't check, it was short!

    P!ssed off really, I'm offering him my services, and he has the cheek to give me less money, pretending the full amount was there!....

    I've topped it up to the correct amount now, but unsure how to go about it in terms of confronting him... hes gone from a trusting nephew to a little twerp in my eyes now, I'm not sure if I want to speak to him... not politely anyways.
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  2. bez101
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    bez101 Yorkshire & Humber Rep. Regional Rep

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    why didnt you tell him it was short as soon as you counted it ?
    cos now you cant prove it was short so you realy cant do FA about it
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  3. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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    I was handed the money in the middle of a carpark in good faith late last night, just got round to checking the monies 10 minutes ago. I've had a long day!
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  4. bez101
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    bez101 Yorkshire & Humber Rep. Regional Rep

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    i dont even trust family any cash sould be counted infront of them
    i know its not always practial but
    he will say it was all there you realy aint got a leg to stand on
    but if it was me id just give him a ****ing good kick in
    #4
  5. StateOfPlay
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    StateOfPlay Well-Known Member

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    You only fall for that type of **** once.
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  6. Nilz
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    Nilz Defo worth the wait :)

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    Joe

    Its a difficult one mate, I know family that have had money loaned to and loaned out and its always a tricky one, as nobody wants to 'offend' anyone because they are family.

    It might be worth just having a quiet word and just say, look i have only just counted the money and there was only £XXXX there and I have counted it a few times, is this a genuine mistake or are you going to sort the rest with me when you have it?

    Might also be worth saying, I know times are tough blah blah, so just get it to me when its convenient........but dont take the pee!! ;)
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  7. Ads
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    Ads License to drive

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    You don't have much luck with money and friends/family, do you Jo?!
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  8. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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    Whoa, slow down with the X's, it's only 3 figures, not 4! It's short by 40 squid, not a mega amount of money, but that's beside the point!!

    No mate, no luck at all. The problem I have is, I don't have anyone I can talk to openly about financial stuff, hence posting it on here. And when family is involved, it makes it even worse!
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  9. Nilz
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    Nilz Defo worth the wait :)

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    LOLZ...well you know what you high flyers are like, retiring early and all that ;)

    Dude, money is money, whether its a tenner or a grand, people shouldnt take the pee with it hey?
    #9
  10. jdp1962
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    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    I agree with Nilz. Have a quiet word, make it clear you know it was short, and offer him one opportunity to make it good. Make clear to him also that it's not just about the £40, but about whether he wants to have your personal trust in the future.
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  11. warren_S5
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    warren_S5 Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    I'd call him up and tell him you want to speak to him, but not what about. He will know why, but it will give him something to think about. Set the time and date about 2 days away to give him time to sweat a bit!

    Then go and meet up with him, preferably somewhere quiet and secluded for full effect. At this point I'd love to tell you to launch into Samuel L. Jackson mode (starting conversation with: 'do i look like a *****, then why you f***ing me like one M-F), but that will solve nothing.



    Explain to him what he did, and the fact you are now £40 out of pocket, and what are his thoughts about it. Don't ask for the money, but press him on why he finds it acceptable to make his problem yours when all you wanted to do was help.

    Give him an ultimatum. Offer to let him pay you the £40 as and when he can, and it's water under the bridge, or you will waiver the £40 and you'll never help him again. The choice he chooses to make will speak volumes about the person involved.

    People need to be handed responsibility for the positions they put themselves in. Ignore it and he will think its acceptable behaviour.

    Sorry to hear its happened to you mate, you sound like a lynch pin within our family.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2014
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  12. Sarah's A3
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    Sarah's A3 MODERATOR V6 S3 Hybrid Staff Member Moderator

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    Ooh a tricky one but it always is with family. Like you Joe, we have learnt the hard way. We fall for it every time, sadly.

    I agree with everyone, give him a chance and see if he comes through or hangs himself. Least you can say you have tried. Chin up, not everyones like that.
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  13. jcs356
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    jcs356 Brum brum

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    Ditto here. I ended up lending a close relation a significant sum which is 5 X's in the equation, and the first one isn't a 1. I'll leave it at that :think:

    They were in a big, big problem, massive credit card and loan debts, income didn't even meet the minimum payments on their debts, house remortaged to the hilt. They were on the verge of losing everything. Felt I had to do something as I didn't want to see them homeless.
    We agreed an interest rate, a repayment schedule etc. etc. Forced them to cut up their ccards in front of me and wrote letters to the ccard cos pleading financial hardship. In the main, the ccard cos have played ball and dropped the interest rates & minimum payments but they are still going to be paying back for years.

    Anyway, I was getting regular repayments from them at first but then nothing for over a year. Allegedly going to restart at the end of this month.... We'll have to see.

    At the moment I don't need the money (Had I bought that RS3 it would have been a different matter!), but annoyed that they won't even talk to me about it. I feel awkward asking them as I feel I'm chasing them up about it; would rather they were honest with me and say 'can't pay you this month as car failed MOT and needed £200 of repairs'. They have also moderated their behaviour to spend less - e.g. shop at Aldi/Lidl, don't go out or have takeaways - but then bought a cat before Xmas which is going to cost £50 a month in food & vet fees. Is that really necessary? I'm not saying that they should live on bread and water for the next 5 years, but it just shocks me that someone could have such a blase attitude to debt. It's funny out of the family, 3 of us have turned out to be financially very astute (like our parents) yet 1 is completely clueless.

    Would I do it again - probably not. I'm certainly not willing to lend them any more no matter what the sob-story is. Will I get the money back - yep, eventually, but I may have to wait a long, long time.
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  14. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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    Think I left it too late to have a quiet word now, I will just count out any further repayments in front of his face next time, and make it obvious I know somethings up. I usually really laid back and honest about things like this, but he's been dragging this one a little...
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  15. bez101
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    bez101 Yorkshire & Humber Rep. Regional Rep

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    so after he did that your going to deal with him again
    why dont you let him pay the cash back to who he owes it to ?
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  16. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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    It's complex, I've been put in the middle of this transaction somehow, since I introduced both parties, never again is all I can say. I have had no financial gain whatsoever, all I wanted to do was to help two people out, and they have ballsed it up!
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  17. bez101
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    bez101 Yorkshire & Humber Rep. Regional Rep

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    im sorry but i would still wash my hands of it
    no matter how complex it is
    unless u gaurantaued the loan
    ps i cant spell that ^^
    #17
  18. Turkster
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    Turkster Bro.Paul 2.5TDI Quattro Sport

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    id bank the £40 oweing and get him to earn it back, give hime a job to do and hand him the -£40 and just let him ask you about it, then you can just let him know that you cant kid a kidder! and smile!
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  19. egesford
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    egesford Member

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    i find in these situations a short sharp back hand to the nose and mouth does wonders, doesnt really hurt that much, but puts people in their place nicely
    #19

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