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Weddings & Marriage

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ScottD3, Jun 11, 2012.

  1. ScottD3
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    ScottD3 I want your faulty electronics

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    [Jun 19, 2012]
    It went fine.
    he was shocked that I asked but what happy I did.
    He also said no returns. lol

    We did a basic count of 200 and not counting the family on my Dad's side or half the london lot.
    It would get to big and I don't speak to most of them any way.

    Tent in a field and lots of food and drink, thats what we want.
    #41
  2. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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    [Jun 19, 2012]
    700!? Where can you sit 700 people? :faint:

    Goodluck mate!
    #42
  3. Ash187
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    Ash187 Audi-Retrofits.co.uk Site Sponsor

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    [Jun 19, 2012]
    there are special banquet halls in London now that do cater for that amount of people.... but its like £13 a head basic for the food and the hall hire is like £8k for the day!! :Flush:
    #43
  4. ScottD3
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    ScottD3 I want your faulty electronics

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    [Jun 19, 2012]
    I'm looking at marquees. :thumbsup:
    #44
  5. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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    [Jun 19, 2012]
    I see. I booked out a whole restaurant for mine, 2 floors and it was £55 a head(10 course meal!) + drinks! All attendees gives a contribution towards it though in the form of 'red packets', so the final bill was not all on me thankfully!
    #45
  6. xs2man
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    xs2man Member

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    [Jun 19, 2012]
    Pft. Went to Canada ski-ing, proposed.

    Went back a year later with a wedding package, got married.

    Anyone who wanted to come, could come, if they couldn't afford it, nae luck.

    Us and the best man were all who were there. It was epic.
    #46
  7. StateOfPlay
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    StateOfPlay Well-Known Member

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    [Jun 19, 2012]
    Wow! That is a big decision to make! Does he know how strongly you feel about this?
    #47
  8. lgooch
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    lgooch Active Member

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    [Jun 19, 2012]
    Married in Mauritius with 2 close friends and then naffed off to Dubai for a honeymoon. The mother of all parties when we come home.

    No harder than organising a holiday and not much more to do so.

    Marriage is vastly over rated in my experience and in this day and age I personally wouldn't bother unless my partner had really strong wishes to do it

    Just my 2p
    #48
  9. missviper
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    missviper Member

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    [Jun 20, 2012]
    #49
  10. missviper
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    missviper Member

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    [Jun 20, 2012]
    Yer he knows alright, i'm more pissed that when we first got together, he wanted to have a baby with me. Now he's changed is mind and says we have a good life, and he does not want it to change. Is youngest child is 5yrs, my argument is well life could change if all of a sudden you after take full time care of your youngest and that will changed life for me too.....
    So basically i either after choose being with someone i love and married to or get a divorce and maybe get a chance of having children, of which there is no gaurantee........
    #50
  11. Ash187
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    Ash187 Audi-Retrofits.co.uk Site Sponsor

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    [Jun 20, 2012]
    trick him into thinking you taking contraception and then boom... your preg! :eyebrows:

    ok sorry thats mean but then again so is he for not taking you and your wishes into consideration
    #51
  12. missviper
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    missviper Member

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    [Jun 20, 2012]
    i couldn't do that, thats really unfair and i am glad that he as been truthful/honest with me, thats important.Would hate for him to make out that he was okay with it when he's not. But it's unfair that i have to give up something so big and my fear is i may end up resenting him, later on in life. I'm 31 now so i have several years to go but my clock is ticking. He can't fully understand cause he already as children, i will be the one who misses out.............
    #52
  13. Ash187
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    Ash187 Audi-Retrofits.co.uk Site Sponsor

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    [Jun 20, 2012]
    no i was just messing when i said that... i think i watched that in a film or something but its soo mean!!

    I turn 29 in July, i really want to start a family but i also want to be married before i have children. My 22 yr old GF wants to be married a year before having kids which is fine... so coming back to this thread i may be proposing sometime this year and get things moving!

    i feel for you, having your own child is such a big thing... some people just dont get it. He is being selfish but i do get it from his point of view too...

    but dont worry too much, i bet there are a few guys here that would volunteer to be a doner :jester:
    #53
  14. StateOfPlay
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    StateOfPlay Well-Known Member

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    [Jun 20, 2012]
    I think you have a tough choice to make, a good relationship can be hard to find, but the urge to have a baby can be strong.

    Whatever you decide, it will be the right choice, so good luck.
    #54
  15. missviper
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    missviper Member

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    [Jun 25, 2012]
    i'm sure in time i will make the right choice
    #55
  16. Prawn
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    Prawn My other car is a MINI!!!!

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    [Jul 4, 2012]
    Blimey, a serious thread!

    I'm in a kind of similar position to Scott really, we've been together 7 years now, and we've also talked about marriage and stuff, and both kind of accepted it's going to happen. Problem for us is money, and priorities.

    As much as we'd like to get married, it's going to cost a fortune!

    We're currently paying £800 a month in rent, for someone elses house, and common sense sadly suggests that it'd be far better to plough 10k towards a house deposit, rather than a wedding that won't actually change anything between us, just make it more official.

    But then, if we do ever save up for a house, we'll be skint, so how do you THEN afford a wedding? When the hell do kids ever fit into this equation of being forever skint>?

    argh, it's all so confusing :(
    #56
  17. Broken Byzan
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    Broken Byzan Photographic Moderator Staff Member Moderator VCDS Map User

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    [Jul 4, 2012]
    TBH Scott, whatever you choose to do, they will still run off with your heart if they leave.
    #57
  18. StateOfPlay
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    StateOfPlay Well-Known Member

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    [Jul 4, 2012]
    Been married twice mate.

    First one we saved for wedding, got married with a huge budget, then saved for a house and no sooner had we moved in and I made it nice than she went weird in the head. 18 months married, separated, skint, sold house, lost all my money, found a little flat and lived in The Red Lion. Red lion had mates, lager, and pool table. Also young lovely women. Met woman. Woman love man. Man take woman out. Man and woman get on well, decided to move in together.

    Second marriage, bought a house first, then got married on the cheap, just had our 10 year anniversary. We still have really fond memories of our cheap wedding. It wasn't how much we spent that we remember, it's all our friends and family that we remember.

    Money isn't everything mate, it's the sex that matters.
    #58
  19. jdp1962
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    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Jul 4, 2012]
    A wedding only costs a fortune if you allow it to. My wife and I got married on a very small budget, because that's all we had. It was a great day, and the 27 years since have been great too, not least because we didn't saddle ourselves with a huge debt right at the outset.
    #59
  20. leddoes
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    leddoes New Member

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    [Jul 4, 2012]
    Nothing to worry about, marriage is a very happy thing, if you love each other.:happy:
    #60
  21. N8
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    N8 Kowalski Details VCDS Map User

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    [Jul 4, 2012]
    I recently got married (5th June).

    Was the best day ever, very much worth all the hassle, stress and planning over the last 18 months (which was done 95% by the wife). Had an amazing honeymoon as well. We have also been together for 7 years, I'm now 28 and she is 26. I felt the timing was right, and I proposed on Christmas eve 2010.

    Not alot of young people get married in this day and age, so I feel glad that I did. I'm also glad that I've got married first and we'll have children second as lots do it the other way round, and alot may have kids and then not bother to get married.

    Well that's me!
    #61
  22. Prawn
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    Prawn My other car is a MINI!!!!

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    [Jul 5, 2012]
    Cheers chaps. Good advice methinks.

    The thing that's always seemed odd to me though, is that there is SUCH a stigma around weddings costing a fortune, and then there's the point of it all? we've been together happily for 7 years already, so to simply get married as cheaply as possible just to say it's done seems almost like a wasted exercise. Who knows, much like most of you with your wedding arrangements, I will just let her decide what's best, so long as I still get to play with my cars and have a garage :D
    #62
  23. jdp1962
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    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Jul 5, 2012]
    Well that depends on what you see as being the point of getting married. If all you see it as you having a big party with your mates followed by two weeks in the Maldives, you might as well just attend someone else's wedding and then go on holiday.

    If you see the point of getting married as making an affirmation of your love for someone and desire to be with them all your life, then you'll understand why even a modest wedding can be something to treasure forever.
    #63
  24. N8
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    N8 Kowalski Details VCDS Map User

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    [Jul 5, 2012]
    Yes I agree. It was a wonderful day sharing it with all the important people in your life, I recommend it, it feels great to be married. My advice also would be try and go on your honeymoon the next day, as doing it 2/3/4/5/6 months later it'll just feel like a holiday, but doing the honeymoon straight away goes side in side with the wedding and it'll be a time in your life which you'll remember!
    #64
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  25. Prawn
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    Prawn My other car is a MINI!!!!

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    [Jul 7, 2012]
    oh no no no no no!

    Perhaps I put my point across wrong, that for me is totally NOT what it's about, in the slightest! It's not about parties, and I'm loathed to spend money on holidays, I think they're a waste.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is, we're brought up in a society where marriage is a very feminine thing. 'The wedding' is supposedly every girls dream when they grow up etc etc, or so us lads are led to believe, whilst we're playing with cars they're day dreaming about what dressed the brides maids will wear, you get the picture.

    For that reason, I'm saying that just doing a quick on the cheap wedding in a registry office, is taking away that dream, so a day that your girlfriend /partner has always dreamed of may never come true, and that to me is sad.

    I don't need a ring or a certificate to prove how happy we are, so if I can't give her the kind of wedding she's always dreamed of (doesn't have to be that expensive, just nice in a traditional sense - nice ring / church / family / reception etc etc), then I don't see the point in doing it now, and I'd rather wait.
    #65
  26. Todd1983
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    Todd1983 Member

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    [Jul 7, 2012]
    I'm getting married on 15th September. Got engaged 4 years ago in Antigua, and bought her ring out there(valued & insured at nearly 3x the uk amount). We then used our savings to buy our first house last april. Since then I have my saving my arse off, working all the hours under the sun, I broke my beloved S14A to make as much money back as possible and just used my work van as transport, needs must and all that.

    She's pretty much got the wedding she wants, but her father passed when she was a baby so it's been just our hard earned cash that pays for it. It's come in at circa £30k inc the honeymoon to St. Lucia (£6k) and We've just about paid for it few weeks back. Hence buying myself a little present 2 weeks back, the S4 :D

    Basically if you can afford it, let her have what she wants, but as others have said be prepared for wedding tax. Everything is nearly a grand minimum. Our cake is £800 for example, and is £12k just to feed everyone and supply a champagne reception.

    It hurts when your thinking about how much it's costing for one day, and they're will be arguments, but when it's paid for and the weights off your shoulders you'll be grateful that she has her perfect day:thumb:
    #66
  27. StateOfPlay
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    StateOfPlay Well-Known Member

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    [Jul 7, 2012]
    Mate, you must have a bloody good job to save all that money in less than a year.

    September eh? Where you having your stag?
    #67
  28. Todd1983
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    Todd1983 Member

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    [Jul 7, 2012]
    Just got back from stag on Monday. 17 of us went to butlins in minehead for the adult only hot summer party, was chaos lol.

    My job is ok, but I've had to work extremely hard, minimum 60 hour weeks every week. My mortgage is also 1100 PCM lol. Now the weddings paid for I won't know what to do with my money lol. Prob works out that I've saved £20k and she has saved 10k.
    #68
  29. Todd1983
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    Todd1983 Member

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    [Jul 7, 2012]
    Oh it was last april 2011, bad wording on my part lol
    #69
  30. StateOfPlay
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    StateOfPlay Well-Known Member

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    [Jul 7, 2012]
    Glad you had a good stag mate. You sound to me like you love this girl a lot, I hope you are both really happy together.
    #70
  31. Todd1983
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    Todd1983 Member

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    [Jul 7, 2012]
    Cheers pal, and yeah I do. I only plan on getting married once, so want it to be memorable. The only parts I've chosen are the honeymoon and the harpist.
    #71
  32. N8
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    N8 Kowalski Details VCDS Map User

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    [Jul 9, 2012]
    My wedding & honeymoon came in at alot, but I have the same outlook, only plan on doing it once! You also (as far as we all know) only live once :laugh: So if you do something, do it properly :laugh:
    #72
  33. Todd1983
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    Todd1983 Member

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    [Jul 10, 2012]
    Exactly
    #73

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