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THE TOP FIVE SMART-ASS ANSWERS OF THE YEAR

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by necroeire, Nov 16, 2005.

  1. necroeire
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    necroeire Active Member

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    [Nov 16, 2005]
    THE TOP FIVE SMART-ASS ANSWERS OF THE YEAR

    Smart-Ass Answer #5
    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
    tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
    ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
    missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
    your stub."

    Smart-Ass Answer #4
    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
    store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked
    a butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied,
    "No, ma'am, they're dead."

    Smart-Ass Answer #3
    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
    speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all
    day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as
    fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent
    the kid on his way without a ticket.

    Smart-Ass Answer #2
    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
    that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is
    right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
    backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
    out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his
    hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver
    says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

    Smart-Ass Answer #1
    The SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR "THE TEACHER "A college teacher
    reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't
    tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow I might
    consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
    or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other
    excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room
    raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I
    was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire
    class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When
    silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the
    student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd
    have to write the exam with your other hand!"
    #1
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  3. Soupie69uk
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    Soupie69uk Owner

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    [Nov 16, 2005]
    Pretty good like!!
    #2
  4. hop2407
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    hop2407 Active Member

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    [Nov 16, 2005]
    Excellent....
    #3
  5. The Slug
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    The Slug Active Member VCDS Map User

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    [Nov 16, 2005]
    hehe quality!!
    #4
  6. Just Plain Old
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    Just Plain Old Active Member

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    [Nov 16, 2005]
    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gifVery good.........I'll pinch them!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
    #5
  7. CJ A4
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    CJ A4 Active Member

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    [Nov 16, 2005]
    Excellent /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
    #6
  8. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    [Nov 16, 2005]
    Good stuff NE.
    #7
  9. Khufu
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    Khufu Active Member

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    [Nov 17, 2005]
    kick ass
    #8
  10. jdp1962
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    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Nov 17, 2005]
    LMAO!

    (& then claimed it as my own /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif)
    #9

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