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The old ones are still the best!

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by Oranoco, Sep 3, 2008.

  1. Oranoco
    Online

    Oranoco Well-Known Member

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    [Sep 3, 2008]
    One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed
    in a very sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do

    anything you want.'


    So he tied her up and went golfing.



    **************************************************



    A man came home, screeching his car into the driveway, and

    ran into the house. He slammed the door and shouted at the top of his

    lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'


    The wife said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff

    or mountain stuff?' '

    Doesn't matter,' he said. 'Just get out.'



    **************************************************



    Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,

    and the other is a husband.



    **************************************************


    Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

    'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in

    the convent.'

    'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of

    chardonnay.'



    **************************************************



    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

    Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

    'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my

    GOD!

    You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM

    NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE

    BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!

    You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

    Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You

    know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE

    SALT!'

    The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?

    You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

    The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it

    feels like when I'm driving.'



    Enjoy :salute:
    #1
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  3. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    [Sep 4, 2008]
    All excellent.
    #2

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