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The jellybaby and smartie joke

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by bainsyboy, Jun 13, 2006.

  1. bainsyboy
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    bainsyboy Guest

    [Jun 13, 2006]
    A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.

    After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?"

    The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre; I always end up getting my head kicked in."

    So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you."

    Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go.

    After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table. The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking bottles over his little jelly head, battering him with little sugary chairs and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out.

    Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were
    going to look after me?" "I was", says Smartie, "but those Lockets are f**king menthol!"
    #1
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  3. necroeire
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    necroeire Active Member

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    [Jun 13, 2006]
    Sweet one !!!
    #2
  4. Adams3
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    Adams3 Member

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    [Jun 13, 2006]
    Very good!! haha
    #3
  5. Olly_K
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    Olly_K Administrator

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  6. hop2407
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    hop2407 Active Member

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    [Jun 13, 2006]
    Ha Ha Ha....
    #5
  7. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    [Jun 13, 2006]
    Groan.
    #6
  8. bainsyboy
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    bainsyboy Guest

    [Jun 13, 2006]
    wahey this site is growing on me, i can go a straight to the jokes now.

    hurry up and post some more
    #7
  9. DaveACQ20v
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    DaveACQ20v Member

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    [Jun 14, 2006]
    TWO GUYS AT B & Q LOOKING FOR THEIR WIVES

    Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home
    Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about
    that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to
    where I was going."

    The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence.
    I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little
    desperate."

    The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other.
    What does your wife look like?

    The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue
    eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts. What
    does your wife look like?"

    The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
    #8
  10. Olly_K
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    Olly_K Administrator

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    [Jun 14, 2006]
    rofl, very good, but you can start your own thread you know !
    #9

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