There was a lady at a bar. Every time she wanted a drink she would raise her hand. She had very bad armpit hair. The Bartender was getting really fed up about this and told a male customer sitting at the bar that next time she did that he was not going to give her a drink. One minute later she said, 'Bartender, Bartender, get me another drink.' The bartender said no. The man sitting there said, 'Oh give the poor ballerina another drink.' The bartender said, 'How do you know she is a ballerina?' The man replied, 'Well anyone that can lift their leg that high must be a ballerina!' A man boarded an aircraft at Heathrow and took his seat, as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo! She took the seat right beside him. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "business trip or holiday?" She turned, smiled enchantingly and said "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States". He swallowed hard, here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explained," one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish. Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name." "Tonto," the man said... "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."