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Sunday joke

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by TDI-line, May 1, 2005.

  1. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    More and more doctors are running their practices like an assembly line. One fella walked into a doctor's surgery and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles". So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history, and told him to wait in an examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said, "Where?" He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
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  2. DaveACQ20v
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    DaveACQ20v Member

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    an elderly couple are waiting in the doctors. after a while the receptionist says `ok mr harris, i`ve just spoken to the doctor and he says he needs a few samples from you, he needs a
    urine sample
    blood sample
    a stool
    semen sample`

    the old boy looks to his wife and in a croaky voice says `what did she say`
    to which his wife replied





    `you`ve got to leave your underpants at the reception` /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/fuck_you.gif
    #2
  3. CJ A4
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    CJ A4 Active Member

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    HAHAHA excellent (both) /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
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  4. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    Good one Dave. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif
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  5. audi5e
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    audi5e Member

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    Dave, thank you very much, I was just about to have Sunday lunch!

    After that, I am not sure if Sunday dinner will even make it down the hatch! :)
    #5
  6. 28v6
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    28v6 Guest

    Or How about ....


    A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening.
    They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating
    there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could
    tell what the admirers were thinking."Look, there is a couple who has been
    through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!" The little old man
    walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then
    paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started
    taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of French
    fries and one drink. The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and
    carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife.Then he
    carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly
    placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, and then
    his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites. Again, you could
    tell what people around the old couple were thinking."That poor old couple."
    As the man began to eat his French fries, one young man stood and came over
    to the old couples table. He politely offered to buy another meal.The old
    man replied that they were just fine.They were used to sharing everything.
    Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a thing. She
    just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the
    drink. Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them
    something to eat. This time, the lady explained that no, they were used to
    sharing. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face
    neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked
    again. After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old
    lady,"Ma'am, why aren't you eating You said that you share everything. What
    is it that you are waiting for?" She answered,

    [ scroll down!]




































    "The teeth."
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  7. Japper
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    Japper Ibis S3 Fan Club

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    Oh no !!! Lol /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif
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  8. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    An oldie but a goodie. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif
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  9. DaveACQ20v
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    DaveACQ20v Member

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    its so old i`d forgotten the punch line /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
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  10. audi5e
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    audi5e Member

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    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/swear.gif, there goes my dinner too!!!!!!! :))
    #10
  11. CJ A4
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    CJ A4 Active Member

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    Funny one i heard before! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
    #11
  12. myzeneye
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    myzeneye Member

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    top jokes chaps..
    #12
  13. hop2407
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    hop2407 Active Member

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    All 3 excellent.......
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