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Star wars fans! empire end to be re-writen!

fallmonk Jun 24, 2005

  1. fallmonk

    fallmonk Turbo Sport

    SORRY if been posted before!
    Yes, the end of the Empire Strikes Back is to be rewritten to fit in with the new trilogy. The new ending is as follows:


    (A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE
    SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops
    off Luke's hand. It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke
    backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.)

    Darth Vader : Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
    Luke : He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
    Darth Vader : No, Luke... I am your father!
    Luke : No! It's not true! It's impossible.
    Darth Vader : Search your feelings... you know it to be true...
    Luke : NO!
    Darth Vader : Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?
    Luke : Threepio?
    Darth Vader : Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was only 7 years old...
    Luke : No...
    Darth Vader : Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at
    yourself, no lightsaber, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...
    Luke : I destroyed your precious Death Star!
    Darth Vader : When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly
    destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!
    Luke : Well, it's not my fault...
    Darth Vader : Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me
    what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
    Luke : Shut up...
    Darth Vader : You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had
    exterminated the Jedi knights!
    Luke : I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!
    Darth Vader : Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner
    of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!
    Darth Vader : And by your age I'd gotten my girlfriend pregnant... older woman too, and ex queen. And you?? WTF you want to bone your sister?? you're one sicko kid!
    (Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.)
    Darth Vader : I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose
    you are, but you sure ain't mine...
    (Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down
    the shaft... Darth Vader looks after him.)
    Darth Vader : Get a haircut!"

  2. TDI-line

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore Team Floret Silver quattro Audi A3 Black Edition TDi

    Very funny Fallmonk. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif

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