1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Somalian Cruises

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by sidibear, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. sidibear
    Online

    sidibear Looking for Zombies !! Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2008
    Messages:
    2,058
    Likes Received:
    442
    [Apr 30, 2009]
    I was checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very
    cheap right now.

    I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in
    the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

    The cost is a bit high @ 800 per person double occupancy but I
    didn't find that offensive. What I found encouraging and
    enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring
    their 'high-powered weapons' along on the cruise. If you
    don't have your own weapons you can rent them on
    the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and
    will have reloading parties every afternoon as well as
    optional marksmanship training.

    The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200
    per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down
    the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are
    some of the costs and claims associated with the package.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    * $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max
    billing)

    * M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds
    of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at 15.95 (Best weapon for your
    kids, say, under 5. Make sure they know how to clear it.)

    * Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62
    com block ball ammo at 14.95 (Be sure you get one with a
    milled receiver and brass case ammo, not that steel ****!)

    * Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day
    ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at 9.95 (Yeah baby!
    Reach out and touch someone!)

    * Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour
    (spotting scope included).

    * Wow - they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200
    dollars for 3 standard loads (-2's or -7's? Never could hit
    anything with a -2; price seems kinda steep)

    * "Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision
    equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."


    * Meals are not included but costs seem reasonable.

    * Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho
    entrepreneurs offer......... get this.....

    * "MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of
    sustained fire"
    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and
    even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"

    They even have a partial money back offer if not
    satisfied....here's some text from the ad.

    "We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking
    attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back
    including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini-gun
    charges not included). How can we guarantee you will
    experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles
    of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not
    occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots.
    We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day
    along the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is
    fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and
    loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention.
    Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your
    package before the end of May and get 100 rounds of free
    tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."

    As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were
    a few testimonials

    * "I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'll
    never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the
    Komandant in Schindlers list!"---- Lars, Hamburg, Germany

    * "Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I
    bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats
    with the mini-gun. PIRATES 0 - PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the
    trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English" - Ned, Salt
    Lake city, Utah USA

    * "I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in
    NAM. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never
    even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and
    their squirrelly aim-reminds me of the 15 year old Gomers we
    ran into in Cambodia who fired with their eyes closed"-" Glen
    the Rotorhead" Harvard, MA USA.

    * "Like ducks in a barrel. This is a must do! - Zeke,
    Minnahaw Springs, Kentucky, USA
    #1
  2. Ads

    Ads

    [Sep 22, 2014]

  3. lil_coz
    Offline

    lil_coz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,641
    Likes Received:
    19
    [Apr 30, 2009]
    LOL! What triggered that off Sidi? :laugh:
    #2
  4. scottie123
    Offline

    scottie123 (●̮̮̃•̃) (●&# VCDS Map User

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2008
    Messages:
    1,972
    Likes Received:
    2
    [Apr 30, 2009]
    where do i sign...... :)
    #3
  5. sidibear
    Online

    sidibear Looking for Zombies !! Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2008
    Messages:
    2,058
    Likes Received:
    442
    [Apr 30, 2009]
    I just got sent it by email, co-incidence or what :lmfao:
    #4
  6. Nilz
    Offline

    Nilz Defo worth the wait :)

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Messages:
    10,260
    Likes Received:
    403
    [May 1, 2009]
    Haha, like the reference to 'triggered' as well!!!
    #5

Share This Page