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Shower like a woman !!

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by hendry10, Sep 29, 2013.

  1. hendry10
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    hendry10 Member

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    [Sep 29, 2013]
    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:


    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
    laundry hamper according tolights and darks.


    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If
    you see your husband along the way, cover up any
    exposed areas.


    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror--make
    mental note?must do more sit-ups.


    4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth,leg
    cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.


    5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo
    with 43 added vitamins.


    6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.


    7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint
    conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave
    on hair for fifteen minutes.


    8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
    for ten minutes until red.


    9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa
    Cake body wash.


    10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure
    that it has all come off).


    11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini
    area but decide to get it waxed instead.


    12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the
    toilet and you lose the water pressure.


    13. Turn off shower.


    14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
    mold spots with Tilex.


    15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a
    small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second
    towel.


    16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit,
    tweeze hairs.


    17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
    towel on head.


    18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up
    any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend
    an hour and a half getting dressed.




    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:






    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Flick underpants across the room
    and leave them in a pile.


    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife
    along the way, shake wiener at her making the
    "woo-woo" sound.


    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck
    in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the
    size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your
    ass.


    4. Get in the shower.


    5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't
    use one).


    6. Wash your face.


    7. Wash your armpits.


    8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water
    just rinse it off.


    9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the
    shower.


    10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates
    and surrounding area.


    11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
    on the soap bar.


    12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).


    13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.


    14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in
    the mirror again.


    15. Pee (in the shower).


    16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to
    notice water on the floor because you left the curtain
    hanging out of the tub the whole time.


    17. Partially dry off.


    18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles.
    Admire wiener size again.


    19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the
    floor.


    20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.


    21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your
    waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel,
    shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound
    again.


    22. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to
    get dressed again
    #1
    kwistof and gen.heinz guderian like this.
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