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seen it before but still pis$ed me self again!

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by ALPINE, May 25, 2010.

  1. ALPINE
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    ALPINE Yes its diesel, now cry u lost

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    [May 25, 2010]
    How to Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to
    lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
    more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
    pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
    vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
    red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    How To Shower Like a Man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
    a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'
    sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Wee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
    the whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy it her and make the
    'woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.

    I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!
    #1
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  3. pjmspeedy
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    pjmspeedy Dude, what's mine say ?

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    [May 25, 2010]
    That is f!&king funny. :lmfao:
    #2
  4. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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  5. jonny88
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    jonny88 New Member

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    [May 25, 2010]
    :iagree:true lol
    #4
  6. Sarah's A3
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    Sarah's A3 MODERATOR V6 S3 Hybrid Staff Member Moderator

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    [May 26, 2010]
    haaa haaaaa thats sooooooooooooooooo fuuny! I love the woo woo's lol!

    (Oh! and we dont all have dressing gowns! yuk lol)
    #5
  7. ALPINE
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    ALPINE Yes its diesel, now cry u lost

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    [May 26, 2010]
    keep talking ra-ra!
    #6
  8. Sarah's A3
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    Sarah's A3 MODERATOR V6 S3 Hybrid Staff Member Moderator

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    [May 26, 2010]
    Hey! why you selling the A3??? and do you have the LCR yet?? if so where are the pics??
    #7

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