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Scared to drive...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by _G_, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. _G_
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    _G_ Member

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    [Sep 21, 2012]
    Have had about 3 non-fault minor motoring accidents in the last 14 years on the roads... and last week was the worst... a guy blind sided me... and my car is totalled... I don't know how I survived it. I managed to call the Police... he didn't speak much English... he kept saying: "Sorry sorry no English!" Then he drove off... hit and run... I couldn't give chase but the panda got him.

    Now I just feel scared to drive... never had this before. Don't know what the hell to do. Every time I am near my other car I feel sick or the thought of driving makes me feel bleugh. Don't know what the hell to do. Will I ever drive again? I just don't know. All my driving confidence is just in tatters right now.
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  3. Audi Dynamik
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    Audi Dynamik Well-Known Member

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    [Sep 21, 2012]
    Im sorry to hear this :0
    Keep calm and carry on,
    Dont worry pal :)
    #2
  4. danA3T
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    danA3T Member

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    [Sep 21, 2012]
    It gets easier. I was blindsided in May and driving was an uphill battle. I still freak out a little when I see cars coming into traffic 'too fast' but I can get in a car and drive it without breaking into a gold sweat. My advice is push through it: take someone with you for an easy drive to get back into the swing. Oh, and swearing helps...
    #3
  5. Paradox1
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    Paradox1 Active Member

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    [Sep 21, 2012]
    Please don't stop driving.when you was younger and you fell of your bike,did you stop riding? Keep at it mate.glad your ok from the accident,I'm sure you'll overcome it
    #4
  6. warren_S5
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    warren_S5 Moderator Staff Member Moderator VCDS Map User

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    [Sep 22, 2012]
    Best way to remedy this is to get back in the saddle as soon as you can mate. Consider the following:

    • Try driving on the roads at the quitest times of day; early Saturday morning or Sunday morning are the best as you pretty much have the road to yourself
    • Enlist on an IAM course, they specialise in getting your driving to a standard where your confidence will be higher
    • Do an advanced driving course (after the other two bullet points!). Too many people drive because it gets them between two points on a map. An instructor led driving course can be insightful, fun and makes you remember why you love driving as a 'hobby' rather than just because you need to be somewhere.

    It will come back; in 1991 I had a 450 degree spin down a motorway after a front tyre blew out after hitting debris in the road. It was at night and luckily due to low volume of traffic on the road I manage to get away without hitting anyone or anything. Thought car was going to flip as alloy wheel dug into tarmac as tyre was obliterated. I didn't drive for a week after that. Mate & his missus came out to collect me and drive me home (even fitted spare tyre for me as I was too shaken to do it). In a non fault accident it does shake your confidence, but modern cars are very safe, so as long as you retain good spacial awareness you'll be alright!
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  7. StateOfPlay
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    StateOfPlay Well-Known Member

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    [Sep 22, 2012]
    Now you have been hit the odds are in your favour.

    Just take it easy for a few weeks and you will be back to normal.

    I was hit by a car pulling out from a side road, pushing me into oncoming traffic. It was a mess. Car was trashed, and I thought the guy did it on purpose. He turned out to be a nice bloke, and he was mortified as he saw me coming, reversed back but for some reason then accelerated hard.

    I drove real slow for a while after that. Every time I saw a car in a side road I slowed right down. Now I am back to normal.
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  8. murran
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    murran Active Member

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    [Sep 22, 2012]
    think how racing drivers get on when they have a big off? or when that bit of suspension spring hit massa in his helmet?

    they don't give it a second thought and always get straight into another car asap with the same commitment as before.

    i must admit in my early teens i was fearless to the point of suiciadal on my mountain bike. then i hit a tree @20mph, smashed my bike to bits, badly broke my wrist and cracked a rib.
    knocked my boat off that did.
    when i could ride again it just wasnt the same. i was always cautious and it wasnt fun or exciting bombing down hill offroad anymore. i suppose if you know your not taking chances or going too fast then the buzz just isn't there.
    i gave it up not long after.
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  9. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Sep 22, 2012]
    You need counselling as the shock of the crash has took its toll on you,I would go along and speak to your doctor about it.
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  10. Tay
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    Tay Active Member VCDS Map User

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    [Sep 25, 2012]
    Give it a few weeks time until your comfortable considering driving again, and then ease your self back into it slowly with small journeys at quiet times.

    I was hit side on by a drunk old guy in a ka once and i refused the hire car from my insurers because I didn't want to drive. Took me about 4 weeks to consider driving, but I slowly got used to it and it made me extremely aware of what other cars are doing around me at all times.

    Just do whatever the doctors advise and don't rush yourself back into things :)
    #9
  11. _G_
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    _G_ Member

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    [Sep 26, 2012]
    cheers all for the advice... and sharing your stories...
    I got back behind the wheel this morning... bit of a rough start... the old ticker felt like it was going to burst out my chest
    Managed 15 minutes... going to try again tomorrow... hopefully it gets easier as you say.
    Man its a push and a half.
    #10
  12. superkarl
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    superkarl MAN OF STEEL

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    [Sep 26, 2012]
    grow a pair and go for it. put some epic music on, something inspirational, like some classical.
    #11
  13. Martin82
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    Martin82 Member

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    [Sep 26, 2012]
    If you are struggling with confidence after crashes (and to be honest i cant blame you!) then i would suggest taking a friend/partner with you when driving for the 1st week or two until your confidence returns, just short journeys to start with, then longer distances once you are more settled, you have to do it now rather than later otherwise you will stop and never drive again.

    My dad had an accident in 2001, got another car sold it a few months later and never drove again as his confidence was shot and no matter what we said he wouldnt continue and to this day hasnt driven again.
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  14. Artimus
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    Artimus Short Back

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    [Sep 26, 2012]
    ^^^This, definitely.

    Life threatening events are usually traumatic, as you tend to seriously consider your mortality, but you can't let them stop you in your tracks! Accept that one day you will die ...just Not Today!

    Bite the bullet. :)
    #13
  15. ScottD3
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    ScottD3 I want your faulty electronics

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    [Sep 26, 2012]
    I remember the first motorbike crash I had.

    Went to fast round a bend, lost control and low sided.
    bike bounced off the curb, then the van, I slide down the pavent, off the wall and in to a pole.
    Cut, bleeding, battered, clothes in tatters, shaking, on the phone to my dad and it went some thing like this.

    Me: Dad, I've had a crash.
    Dad: Are you ok, any broken bones, can you see, stand up and walk?
    Me: Yeah, shaken, bleeding, clothes in bits but I'm ok.
    Dad: Hows the bike? Can you ride it?
    Me: It looks ok, it still runs, looks like I'll be able to ride it home.
    Dad: Ok, I'll see you in 15mins, I'll put the kettle.

    And he hung up.
    Sorted out the insurance, got on the damaged but ridable bike and limped it home.

    Possible the best thing I did.
    If I sat back and refused to get on it again, I doubt it would have, i'd possible be in the same boat as you.


    Get back in a car and drive.
    You'll be fine.


    Apparently, its been proven that the best way to get over your fear is to talk about as you are having the fear.
    So take someone with you and talk to them about your fear and what you are feeling.
    #14
  16. jdp1962
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    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Sep 26, 2012]
    Today's trip was the hardest one of all. Each day will get a bit better.
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  17. _G_
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    _G_ Member

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    [Oct 2, 2012]
    Cheers everyone... back behind the wheel now. Hasnt been easy but thanks for sharing your stories/advice.
    I'm much more confident now... I had like one minor panic attack but I tried to control my breathing/steady breaths... and the feeling passed.
    Back at work now too... :superman:
    #16
  18. RYes3
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    RYes3 Member

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    [Oct 2, 2012]
    That's good to hear!
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  19. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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