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poor joke

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Khufu, Feb 6, 2006.

  1. Khufu
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    Khufu Active Member

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    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over
    his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour,
    surgical procedure.
    A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
    "Nurse",he mumbles, from behind the mask.??"Are my testicles black?"
    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to
    wash your upper body and feet."
    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
    Concerned that he may elevate his vital signs from worry about his
    testicles,she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the
    covers.She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in
    the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a
    close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir."
    The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,"Thank
    you very much.??That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......

    "Are - my - test - results - back?"
    #1
  2. hop2407
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    hop2407 Active Member

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    Groan.....
    #2
  3. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    Lovely. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
    #3
  4. rickparmar
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    rickparmar va va voom

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    lol
    #4
  5. bainsyboy
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    bainsyboy Guest

    I dont know how many beers i have had but that is the worst f--king joke that has taken 3 quaters of an hour to read EVER that sir is a f--king poor joke if ever i saw one worse than what has one ball and f--ks women?
    Peter sutcliffs hammer.

    I bid you goodnight
    #5
  6. bainsyboy
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    bainsyboy Guest

    That joke i posted last night was a bit below the belt, but unfortunately i cannot edit the post now, in case it has offended any one.
    #6
  7. 28v6
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    28v6 Guest

    Whilst on patrol one night an Officer comes across a tramp with his two fingers shoved up the arse of another tramp. "WTF do you think you're doing??" proclaims the Officer.The tramp replies "My good friend here, has drunk too much today and I am simply trying to help sick it up" The concerned Officer said " Sticking your digits up his Rse won't do much good" "Obviously Officer..." replies the tramp "....but sticking them in his gob afterwards should work a treat !! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/vomit.gif
    #7
  8. 28v6
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    28v6 Guest

    A well known, much married celebrity said to her doctor, "I have a new boyfriend and he's 18, so I want you to tighten my vagina. This has to be our secret, No Tabloids, No TV and DEFINITELY no leaks!!!"

    Her doctor was standing there when she woke up after the operation. She looked at the foot of the bed and saw three bouquets of flowers.

    She Raged " How could you do this to me?? I told you the strictest on confidence, absolute Silence this was to be our secret!!!"

    "Relax.." replies the doctor "....The first bouquet is from me - on how successful the op was, The second is from the anaesthetist - who worked with me on the op and commented how calm and peaceful you were, he's also gay and very trust worthy and won't tell a soul.... And the third bouquet is from a guy in the burns unit who wanted to thank you for his new pair of ears"
    #8
  9. 28v6
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    28v6 Guest

    And finally...

    A man goes into a brothel to get some practice and hints on performing oral sex on his newly wed wife. The Pro was happy to oblige and give him some tips, then told him to go for it.
    So the man goes down on her and judging by the response was deemed pretty good at it...But something strange happened... a couple of minutes into the deed, he felt something in his mouth. He spat it into his hand and found a piece of carrot."YUK!!!" he thought, but said nothing and continued. A few minutes later, he came up with a broad bean. " Feckin' 'Ell. this is revolting" he thought. Nevertheless, he said nothing and gave her filthy box one more shot...a couple of minutes later he comes up with a piece of chicken. He can't stand this anymore .." I can't do this anymore " he cries "..I'm gonna throw up!!!" "Thats weird" remarks the hooker "..thats exactly what the last fella did!!!" /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/vomit.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/vomit.gif
    #9
  10. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    Excellent 28V6 /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
    #10
  11. Ha Ha /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
    #11
  12. rasA4
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    rasA4 Four Rings Mafia Specialist

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    oh dear
    #12
  13. rasA4
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    rasA4 Four Rings Mafia Specialist

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    i liked the joke from khufu though

    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
    #13

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