Nothing but the truth

necroeire

Registered User
Joined
Feb 19, 2004
Messages
1,008
Reaction score
0
Points
36
Location
Ireland
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The
Lawyer was stunned!

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in
the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll jail you for contempt."
 
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif

good one /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The
Lawyer was stunned!

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in
the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll jail you for contempt."

[/ QUOTE ]

Pure class /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bravo.gif
 
Excellent... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ok.gif
 
Priceless. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif