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Non-PC Nursery Ryhmes

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by voorhees, Nov 13, 2007.

  1. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A bit non-PC, i'm glad to say...


    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    The structure of the wall was incorrect
    So he won a grand with Claims Direct.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    It's raining, it's pouring,
    Oh ****, it's global warming.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Jack and Jill went into town
    To fetch some chips and sweeties.
    He can't keep his heart rate down
    And she's got diabetes.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Mary had a little skirt
    With splits right up the sides
    And everywhere that Mary went
    The boys could see her thighs.
    Mary had another skirt
    'Twas split right up the front
    ...But she didn't wear that one often.
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    Mary had a little lamb
    Her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her
    Between two chunks of bread.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the pie man
    'What have u got there?'
    Said the pie man unto Simon
    Pies you dickhead.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Mary had a little lamb
    It ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up its arse
    And turned its wool to nylon.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
    Kissed the girls and made them cry.
    When the boys came out to play
    He kissed them too cause he was gay.
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    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    To have a little fun.
    Jill, the dill,
    Forgot her pill,
    And now they have a son.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    And planned to do some kissing.
    Jack made a pass
    And grabbed her arse
    Now two of his teeth are missing.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was white and wispy.
    Then it caught the Foot and Mouth
    And now it's black and crispy.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Mary had a little lamb
    Full of fun and frolics
    It tried to jump a five bar gate
    And landed on its head.
    #1
  2. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    Some good ones.
    #2

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