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New ATM machines

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by bravepilot, Jun 5, 2007.

  1. bravepilot
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    bravepilot Member

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    [Jun 5, 2007]
    A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

    "Please note that this Bank is installing new

    Drive-through ATM machines

    enabling customers to withdraw cash

    without leaving their vehicles.

    Customers using this new facility are

    requested to use the procedures outlined

    below when accessing their accounts."



    "After months of careful research, MALE

    & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.

    Please follow the appropriate

    steps for your gender."

    MALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Put down your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off.



    **********************************************

    FEMALE PROCEDURE:



    Unfortunately, most of this part

    is the Truth.!!!!



    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required

    amount to align car window with the machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents

    on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on cell phone you will

    call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access

    to machine due to its excessive distance

    from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary;

    with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate

    wallet and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in check register

    and place receipt in back of checkbook.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card

    holder, and place card into the slot provided!

    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on cell phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Parking Brake.
    #1
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  3. TDI-line
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    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

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    [Jun 5, 2007]
    Another classic.
    #2
  4. Rich
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    Rich Rollin on boost mother hubbards

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  5. L1 HCS
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    L1 HCS Active Member

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    [Jun 6, 2007]
    :lmfao:
    #4
  6. Smoke Breather
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    Smoke Breather Member

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    [Jun 7, 2007]
    Quality, but oh so true. Always amazes me how long it takes women to pull away from the petrol station forecourt after paying. :mad:
    #5
  7. ak_quattro454
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    ak_quattro454 Member

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    [Jun 8, 2007]
    that is very tru and very annoying!!

    definate classic!!!
    #6

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