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My wee dog

S4_SAT Oct 6, 2006

  1. S4_SAT

    S4_SAT Stuck in 3rd

    Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or
    something. I call mine "Sex". Sex is a very embarrassing name,
    but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for
    a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him.
    A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in
    the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I was looking
    for Sex."

    My court case comes up next Thursday.

    One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex. The clerk
    asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex.
    He said "I would like to have one too!" When I said "But this
    is a dog," he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I
    said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was two years

    He replied, "You must have been a strong boy."

    When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I
    wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until
    after the wedding. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my
    life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex."

    He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and
    would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to
    the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were
    married by the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from
    the church.

    My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When
    I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room
    for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex. The clerk
    said that every room in the Motel is for Sex. Then I said, "You
    don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night", and the clerk
    said,"Me too."

    One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV. He said, "Show
    off!" I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have
    sold tickets.

    When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for
    custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was
    married" and the Judge said, "Me too."

    When I told him that after I was married Sex had left me, he
    said, "Me too."

    Well now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and
    had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for. Why
    just the other day when I went for my first visit with the
    psychiatrist and she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"

    I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like
    losing a best friend and it's so lonely."

    The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I both know that sex
    isn't man's best friend. Why not get yourself a dog?"

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