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Monday luchtime joke........

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by imported_mustwin1, Oct 25, 2004.

  1. imported_mustwin1
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    imported_mustwin1 Guest

    [Oct 25, 2004]
    A young boy went up to his father and asked "What's the difference
    between potentially and realistically?"

    The father ponders for a moment, then answered "Go ask your mother if
    she
    would sleep with Robert Redford for a million quid and also ask your
    sister
    if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million quid, then come back and
    tell me what you learned.

    "So the boy went to his mother and asked "Mum would you sleep with
    Robert
    Redford for a million quid?" The mother replied "Definitely, I wouldn't
    pass an opportunity like that."

    The boy then went to his older sister and asked "Would you sleep with
    Brad
    Pitt for a million quid?" The girl replied "Oh gosh, I would just love
    to
    do that, I would be nuts to pass up that opportunity."

    The boy then thought about it for a few days, and went back to his
    father. His father asked him "Did you find the difference between
    potentially and realistically?"

    The boy replied "Yes, potentially we're sitting on 2 million quid, but
    realistically we're living with two slappers.

    "The father replied "That's my boy.
    #1
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  3. Just Plain Old
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    Just Plain Old Active Member

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    [Oct 25, 2004]
    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif

    Keep um coming........
    #2
  4. imported_xmaslolly76
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    imported_xmaslolly76 Guest

    [Oct 25, 2004]
    this is a little long winded but is funny apparently this is a genuine extract from one of ther scripts

    This is very funny, maybe a bit before some of your times........

    NO WONDER WE ARE DISTURBED

    Original Script from Rainbow

    For those of you who don't have kids or are far too young to remember the
    splendid children's TV programme "Rainbow", this may be a little lost on
    you... but it must have been a great episode to watch!

    The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana ...
    Zippy: "One skin, two skin, three skin, four"
    George: "Zippy, where is Bungle?"
    Zippy: "I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up"
    We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it.
    Bungle: "Geoffrey, I can't get it in"
    Geoffrey: "You managed it last night"
    Bungle: "I know, let's try it round the other way. Ooooooh, I've got it in"
    Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and peg
    kit.
    Bungle: "Would you stick this on the shelf, George"
    George: "I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself,
    Bungle." Geoffrey (to camera) "Hello everyone, today we are talking about
    playing"
    Bungle: "Playing with each other, Geoffrey?"
    Geoffrey: "Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play
    with?"
    George: "Yesterday we played with each other's balls. Are we going to play
    with our friend's balls today?
    Bungle: "Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well."
    Geoffrey (to camera) Have you seen Bungles twanger?
    Zippy: "Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it."
    Bungle: "It's my plucking instrument.
    Geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like Bungle
    Zippy: "I can, I'm the best plucker here."
    George: "And I'm good at banging. My peg's hard isn't it Zippy?"
    Zippy: "Well of course it is, your peg wouldn't go in if it was soft."
    Geoffrey: "Let's get back to Bungle's twanger."
    Bungle: (excited) "Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all play with our twangers
    couldn't we? Let's play the plucking song. Rod and Freddy can get their
    instruments out and Jane has got two lovely Maracas."
    Singers Rod, Freddy and Jane enter.
    Freddy: "We could hear you all banging away"
    Rod: "Banging can be fun."
    Jane: "Ooooh yes, and I was banging away all last night with Rod and
    Freddy."
    Freddy: ( looking sad ) "Yes, but it broke my plucking instrument."
    Rod: (to Jane) "Do you want to blow on my pipe while I'm twanging away?"
    Jane: "Oh no, I was banging away with Freddy last night. But would you like
    to play with my Maracas?
    Zippy; "No, let's just pluck away with our twangers."
    George: "Yes, it doesn't matter what size our twanger is."
    Zippy: "I've got a big red one."
    George: "I've only got a tiny twanger. But it works well and I like to play
    with it."
    Geoffrey: (to viewers) "Well, have you got your twangers out? And remember,
    you can bang your balls at the same time. If you haven't got any, ask a
    friend if you can play with his. Now, let's all play the plucking song."
    Everyone in studio: "Pluck, pluck, pluck along, we're going to pluck all
    day."


    #3
  5. imported_mustwin1
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    imported_mustwin1 Guest

    [Oct 25, 2004]
    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif

    I've got the actual video clip of that somewhere, I'll root around (so to speak) and see if I can find it.........
    #4
  6. imported_xmaslolly76
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    imported_xmaslolly76 Guest

    [Oct 25, 2004]
    is it really real i thought it was a wind up if it is real they must have known what they were doing surely

    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif
    #5
  7. imported_mustwin1
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    imported_mustwin1 Guest

    [Oct 25, 2004]
    #6
  8. Just Plain Old
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    Just Plain Old Active Member

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    [Oct 25, 2004]
    I think it was made for their 'personal' enjoyment only............
    #7
  9. dummi
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    dummi smoking a6

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    [Oct 25, 2004]
    it was made as an xmas gag by crazy groovy freaks at rainbow, my mate who knows everything about nothing says
    #8
  10. Strick
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    [Oct 25, 2004]
    Thats excellent
    #9
  11. ajmackie
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    ajmackie Member

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    [Oct 26, 2004]
    my mates got that on video, bought it from a charity shop i think!!!
    #10
  12. imported_RastaS4
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    imported_RastaS4 Guest

    [Oct 26, 2004]
    hilarious...........
    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif


    G
    #11

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