An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "Y'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why, in Glasgow there's a wee bar called MacTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he will buy the 5th drink for you." "Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first two." "Ahhh, that's nuttin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's O'Driscoll's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house." "Really?" said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?" "Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister."