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Michael Jackson...

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by VWAddict, Jun 26, 2009.

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  1. VWAddict
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    VWAddict Member VCDS Map User

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    [Jun 26, 2009]
    What's the difference between Michael Jackson
    and Alex Ferguson?

    Fergie WILL be playing Giggs in August.

    (Ayethangyeow!)

    _________________________________



    Reports of Michael Jackson being found at his home having a heart attack are apparently incorrect.

    ...he was actually discovered in the children's ward having a stroke.


    _________________________________


    -I bet he isn't allowed into Heaven, though...

    -Not because of the molestation charges, but because apparently they don't accept plastic.
    #1
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  3. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Jun 26, 2009]
    look will you sad ******'s that keep sending Jackson jokes please stop its dangerous.They are off the wall,bad and we'll never heal the world if you don't stop til you get enough and remember the time.Police are saying its suspicious and looking for a man in the mirror called Billy Jean,but they don't blame it on the sunshine and now hollywood are thinking of making a thriller of it!
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  4. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Jun 26, 2009]
    Day 96 and Jade finally has a new housemate.



    [size=-2]I'm gonna burn in Hell for that one[/size]
    #3
  5. L1 HCS
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    L1 HCS Active Member

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    [Jun 26, 2009]
    Jase! are you boozing again!! :lmfao:
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  6. Matt
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    Matt Active Member

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    [Jun 26, 2009]
    Whats difference between jacko and West ham fans? they both like blowing bubbles.

    latest reports of jacko having heart attack are incorrect, he was found in childrens ward with 10yr old nuts in his mouth

    sadly jacko has passed away, good news though they going to recylcle him so kids can play with him for a change.

    jacko last words to paramedic, can i go on kiddies ward

    early reports suggest he has been stiff since mccauly culkin stayed over

    jacko to be cremated and sprinkled into curry, fed to the kids so they can feel him dribble out of their arses one more time

    I read somewhere that it was cancer-based ....... altogether now, "uh uh uh, don't blame it on the sunshine"

    He isn't dead, he's just on holiday in a Caravan Park with Elvis, It is Bubbles that has died, they just can't tell them apart.

    Turns out the gigs are going ahead. but the black or white tour has been renamed dead or alive!

    Jacko’s cause of Death? A) sunshine B) moonlight C) good times D) Boogie

    Michael Jackson suffered chronic heart failure last night after discovering that Boys 2 Men was a band and not a delivery service

    An auction has already started for Michael Jacksons personal belongings and Gary Glitter has come in with a top bid for MJ's little black book
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  7. cort
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    cort Texas Boy

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    [Jun 26, 2009]
    I heard he is going to be cremated, and with all the plastic in his face and body... They are going to make him into a set of Lego's so that kids can play with HIM.
    #6
  8. richya4tdi
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    richya4tdi itsallaboutboost

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    [Jun 27, 2009]
    they say he led a very colourful life, it all looked black and white to me.
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  9. jb0o
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    jb0o North East Forum Moderator Regional Rep Site Sponsor VCDS Map User

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    [Jun 27, 2009]
    Apparantly he didnt die from a heart attack. He died from food posioning from eating a 8yr old sausage
    #8
  10. BK1
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    BK1 New Member

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    [Jun 27, 2009]
    It has been reported that he didn't have a cardiac arrest, he tripped over a childs push chair.

    Police are blaming it on the buggy




    Before Farra Fawcet died, she made a wish for all the kids to be safe, so they killed Michael Jackson
    #9
  11. g60jet
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    g60jet Member

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    [Jun 27, 2009]
    Apparently CPR isn't as easy as ABC
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  12. wibble111
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    wibble111 needs to scratch the itch

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    [Jun 28, 2009]
    On the way to the hospital in the ambulance, poor Jacko is fighting for his life, slipping in and out of conciousness.
    "We need to start CPR" says the doctor
    "No, we need to start ventilation" shouts a paramedic
    "Wait, you need to start the oxygen" says the driver
    Jacko stirs, gasping for breath, he looks into the doctors terrified eyes and says
    "**** me lads, you wanna be startin something, I said ya gotta be startin somethin'"


    With people around the world paying tribute to Michael Jackson, I thought I'd pay my own tribute to the great man.

    I ended up getting arrested and banned from the zoo.
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  13. richya4tdi
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    richya4tdi itsallaboutboost

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    [Jun 28, 2009]
    theres a line and this joke crossed it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2009
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  14. Geordie Mike
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    Geordie Mike Yeee-haw

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    [Jun 29, 2009]
    I don't know why this is a surprise to people, I was only saying the other day he looked a bit pale....

    Apparently he was offered some radical life-saving treatment but he turned his nose up at it. It was to treat a hereditary heart condition. Apparently there was something up with his Billy gene.
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  15. mitch78
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    mitch78 Active Member

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    [Jun 30, 2009]
    All very tasteful. Well done. :keule:
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  16. S3 HODGE
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    S3 HODGE Brown passenger seat.

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    [Jul 1, 2009]
    You guys are Barstards lol, Very funny ones in here, Especialy the one about the little black book that gary glitter wants. Im sure someone was waiting for him to pass so they could bring these jokes out.
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  17. mitch78
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    mitch78 Active Member

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    [Jul 1, 2009]
    You wouldn't joke about a relative that had died, so how come it's considered acceptable to do it when that person was well known? Yet another sign of society losing all respect and decency. Maybe you'll think I'm a sad, boring bastard for saying it and to be honest, that doesn't bother me. I like a joke as much as anyone else (as a lot of you on here will already know) but there's a limit, and making jokes about people that have just died is well past that limit.
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  18. Geordie Mike
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    Geordie Mike Yeee-haw

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    [Jul 1, 2009]
    It's a valid point, but I would counter it with why are the mass outpourings of grief essentially neglecting the "events" MJ had with small children. Judge him for all his contribution to this world, not just the bits people like. Perhaps the jokes are peoples way of reacting to the mass outpouring of grief. I haven't made any jokes about Farah Fawcett, and have no interest in doing so. If there hadn't been blanket press coverage I don't think you would be seeing as many jokes.
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  19. Geordie Mike
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    Geordie Mike Yeee-haw

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    [Jul 1, 2009]
    Oh, and to go back on topic....

    How do you stop a smooth criminal? With a cardiac arrest.
    #18
  20. ChriS3
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    ChriS3 hud at ye bam

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  21. S3 HODGE
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    S3 HODGE Brown passenger seat.

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    [Jul 2, 2009]
    A friend of mine use to have that deck! lol, Im up for fun and jokes but its crossed the line now.
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  22. dc240969
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    [Jul 2, 2009]
    It has went on for a bit now. Personally l didnt pay much attention to the MJ and child thing. But l do know that he was cleared of any charges. All l know is he produced some good music, as did Gary Glitter, Elton John, Freddie Mercury etc. Some crossed the line and got caught, the others maybe crossed the line and didnt.
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  23. A3Tom
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    A3Tom Smell my finger.

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    [Jul 2, 2009]
    #22
  24. Crombie
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    [Jul 2, 2009]
    Top banana [​IMG]
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  25. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Jul 2, 2009]
    I think this has ran its course...locked
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