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Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by stewarta13wsb, Aug 16, 2006.

  1. stewarta13wsb
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    stewarta13wsb Member

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    [Aug 16, 2006]
    An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself
    on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life
    ... until
    the boat sank! The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island
    with no other people, no supplies ... nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

    After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
    gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he
    asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
    "I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed
    here when my cruise ship sank."

    "Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with
    you."

    "Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw
    material that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree
    branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a
    Eucalyptus tree."

    "But-but, that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had no tools or
    hardware. How did you manage?"
    "Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side
    of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.
    I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted
    into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools
    to make the hardware."

    The guy is stunned.
    "Let's row over to my place," she says.
    After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the
    man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him
    is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and
    white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
    the man can only stare ahead, dumb-struck.
    As they walk into the house, her beautiful breasts bouncing with
    each step, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down
    please; would you like to have a drink?"
    "No thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."
    "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still.
    How about a Pina Colada?"
    Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts and they sit down on
    her couch to talk.
    After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to
    slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a
    shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

    No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in
    the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed
    to a hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end, inside of a swivel
    mechanism.
    "This woman is amazing," he muses.
    "What next?"
    When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and a
    shell necklace-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of
    gardenias.
    She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
    "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,
    "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. I've been
    lonely.
    There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right about now,
    something you've been longing for all these months? You know ..."
    She stares into his eyes.
    He can't believe what he's hearing. His heart begins to pound.
    He's truly in luck! "You mean ...", he gasps,

    "... I can actually check my e-mail from here?"
    #1
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