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letter from tesco

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by jonny88, May 24, 2010.

  1. jonny88
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    jonny88 New Member

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    [May 24, 2010]
    this is quite old but i just found it again and it made me laugh

    i got home tonight to find this letter thru my door

    Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
    boyfriend along shopping.

    This letter was sent by tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:


    > Dear Mrs Murray,
    >
    > While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the tesco Loyalty
    > Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
    > your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
    >
    > Below is a list of offences over the past few months, all verified by
    > our surveillance cameras:
    >
    > June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
    > trolleys when they weren't looking.
    >
    > July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
    > intervals.
    >
    > July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
    > products aisle.
    >
    > July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
    > 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
    >
    > August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    >
    > September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told
    > shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor
    > gas stove.
    >
    > September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
    > began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
    >
    > October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used i t as a mirror,
    > picked his nose, and ate it.
    >
    > November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
    > Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the anti
    > depressants were.
    >
    > December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
    > Mission Impossible' theme.
    >
    > December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using
    > different size funnels.
    >
    > December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
    > 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
    >
    > December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
    > the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
    >
    > And; last, but not least:
    >
    > December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
    > then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
    >
    #1
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  3. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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  4. Purple Princess
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    Purple Princess Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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  5. JD09
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    JD09 I'm not modding, I'm improving VCDS Map User

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    [May 24, 2010]
    Old un, but very good.
    #4
  6. jonny88
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    jonny88 New Member

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    [May 24, 2010]
    i actually want to go tesco after reading that
    #5
  7. Nilz
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    Nilz Defo worth the wait :)

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  8. tazzy baby
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    tazzy baby Rookie

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    [Jun 22, 2010]
    Aint heared that one befor CLASS lol
    #7
  9. Welly
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    Welly VX220 SC Driver :)

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    [Jul 23, 2010]
    The old ones are deffo the best.
    #8

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