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laws of the natural universe (joke)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by stewarta13wsb, Mar 8, 2006.

  1. stewarta13wsb
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    stewarta13wsb Member

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    [Mar 8, 2006]
    Law of Mechanical Repair:
    After your hands become coated with grease,your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    Law of the Workshop:
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    Law of Probability:
    The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of the Telephone:
    If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    Law of the Alibi:
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law:
    If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

    Law of the Bath:
    When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters:
    The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    Law of the Result:
    When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics:
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Law of the Theatre:
    At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    Law of Coffee:
    As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers:
    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Rugs/Carpets:
    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Location:
    No matter where you go, there you are.

    Law of Logical Argument:
    Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    Brown's Law:
    If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    Oliver's Law:
    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Wilson's Law:
    As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
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  3. beaker
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    beaker Member

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    [Mar 8, 2006]
    All very true.
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  4. hop2407
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    hop2407 Active Member

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    [Mar 10, 2006]
    [ QUOTE ]
    Variation Law:
    If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

    [/ QUOTE ]

    No Sh!t.... every time

    All very true...........
    #3
  5. benk
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    benk Member

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    [Mar 10, 2006]
    Yeah, there's a few more, like the one about your accelerator being linked to the brake lights of the guy in front, and the handbrake being linked to the traffic lights - when you engage it, they go green.
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