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If pets kept diaries...

Discussion in 'Jokes, Games & Humour' started by VWAddict, Apr 23, 2010.

  1. VWAddict
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    VWAddict Member VCDS Map User

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    [Apr 23, 2010]
    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

    [​IMG] 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Dog Biscuits! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



    Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..

    Day 983 of my captivity...
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

    Bastards.


    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

    -for now................
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  3. finesse
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    finesse Active Member VCDS Map User

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    [Apr 23, 2010]
    lol so true
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  4. L1 HCS
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    L1 HCS Active Member

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    [Apr 24, 2010]
    :laugh:
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  5. supanova
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    supanova A3 2.0 TDI SE

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    [May 4, 2010]
    hahahaahahahahahahhahaha
    ahahaha
    ahahahahahahahahahah
    ..
    ...
    ahahahah

    awesme read haha! i laughed for ages haha not good when you work in a photography shop full of people hahah!

    xD
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