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I can't be the only one...

Discussion in 'A3/S3/Sportback (8P Chassis)' started by DJ-S3, Jul 19, 2013.

  1. DJ-S3
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    DJ-S3 Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    Who else checks their cars regularly for bird poo? I do it when I wake up to make sure there isn't any left to bake into my paint work. Then at dinner.

    I don't use my car for work. I have a work van. So it's just sat there all week until the weekend. I had one day last week where the bird poo must of been on my paintwork for 1hour max! But it was like 28degrees and the light was reflecting off the garage door and windows. The little square where the car was parked gets very hot. Like mid 40s when it's just constant sun. Well within that hour it's left like a scar mark on the paint work. Was really f**ked off!! Can't get rid of it either. 2big splats on the bonnet.
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  3. DarkBunny
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    DarkBunny Active Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    I certainly don't do it that regularly!! But I do have a garage!

    Depends what the birds have been eating - have you ever seen a swan dump :puke2:
    #2
  4. leeds2592
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    leeds2592 When I grow up, I want a 964!

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    I don't check it that often but I do check. Can't be having that damaging the paintwork!

    It's lucky I can park on the drive at my house because directly outside is a telegraph pole which millions (slight exageration) of birds sit and **** from. My Dad's the unlucky person who has to park underneath it :haha:
    #3
  5. Graham89
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    Graham89 Derv Perv

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    I have left bird sh1t on my car for over a week and left no marks behind. This happened when I went on holiday came back to a car covered in it.

    After I wash the car I polish and then wax the car using colonite 915. Whether this has protected the paint I don't know but certainly doesn't leave any marks.

    I once made the mistake of wiping off hard dried bird poo with toilet roll. I ended up scratching the paint surface however the light scratches came out with a deep polish and wax session.
    #4
  6. mjr901
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    mjr901 S3 Pollution Plus+ Edition

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    if I ever leave out outside at night and not in the garage, I pretty much always walk around it next morning, fairly frantically too...

    Also the same with carparks, I walk around when I get back from shopping checking for dings. OCD much...
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  7. Beagles
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    Beagles Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    I don't really check for bird ****, but yea in car parks or anywhere I inspect the whole thing for marks or dings from other careless idiots!
    #6
  8. JudderMan
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    JudderMan Active Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    Mate, I live 500m from the seaside and my car is on the street parked all day. I don't commute so it's sat quite out there quite a lot. And, it's the only target apart from another black car in the street. Seagulls just seem to love to dump their fish and chip poohs on my car. Especially when it's just been washed.

    Absolute *******s.
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  9. SAiLO
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    SAiLO Enthusiast VCDS Map User

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    Good wax helps prevent that from happening.
    #8
  10. SPARTAN91
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    SPARTAN91 RED FIVE STANDING BY Regional Rep

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    Not only bird muck removed asap but all the fly and bug kills on the front bumper and wing mirrors get removed asap on mine.
    #9
  11. DarkBunny
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    DarkBunny Active Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    Not the crapping obviously, but the paintwork being damaged :happy:
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  12. Brodster
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    Brodster Shark Performance In Scotland Regional Rep Site Sponsor VCDS Map User

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    DA or rotary polisher will get rid of that or if you like sweating your gonads off.....do it by hand....phew!!!!
    #11
  13. OVRA3
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    OVRA3 Well-Known Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    There was poo on my bonnet this morning in the car park bloody pigeons! I used one of my business cards to scrape it off...
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  14. DJ-S3
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    DJ-S3 Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    Tried that already, hand polish. Only for 5minutes though. It already had a full coat of wax. Thought it would do some sort of protection.

    There's a berry tree outside my house. And they fly from my house to my garage and **** all over my car. Usually after I've washed it. I need a gun! Or to chop the tree down. Lol
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  15. Artimus
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    Artimus Short Back

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    When my house was new 18 years ago there was a tree sapling planted beside my drive, it was the first thing to go. :)

    Strangely I used to get bombed quite a bit with my last Silver car, but this Blue one rarely, if ever, gets hit! My O\H's silver car now gets all the attention. I'm also anal about walking around the car in Car Parks - especially if I noticed a different car beside me or someone with little\no obvious driving ability maneuvering nearby. :(
    #14
  16. immo
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    immo Stop me

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    I honestly don't have the time of day for checking scratches in car parks etc! **** happens. Excuse the pun ;)
    #15
  17. OVRA3
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    OVRA3 Well-Known Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    I always do a walk round 😁
    #16
  18. smurfworth
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    smurfworth Well-Known Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    get a car cover if you only use it weekends
    #17
  19. wuta3
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    wuta3 Well-Known Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    At the moment by car is **** covered because im parking under a tree to avoid sun turning the car in to a sweat box
    #18
  20. SL11CKK
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    SL11CKK Active Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    Trust me you dont want seagull s*** on your car.

    That stuff literally sucks the life out the paint. Ive tried to da polish/compound it off however the spot still there. I think ill have to 2000 wet sand it.
    #19
  21. grr666
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    grr666 Member

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    [Jul 19, 2013]
    Top tip for when you find a nicely dried on bird turd.
    Go and make a cup of tea, when you have finished with the tea bag
    take it whilst still hot and wet out to the car and place on the turd.
    Go inside and drink your tea, when you've drunk your tea go back outside
    and by then the rock hard perma crud will just wipe off. with a damp sheet
    of kitchen roll or a sponge. Tea ia alkaline and poo is acidic so it helps to
    neutralise it too.
    Sounds mental but works, give it a try. My wifes car gets coated every single
    day in her parking space in Bristol which she pays for each month.
    It's an allocated numbered bay so she can't move elsewhere either before any
    bright spark says 'why does she park there then?'.
    I have cleaned many many a turd. She is to be allocated a new space next
    month as I have created merry hell about this with them.
    #20
  22. danb986
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    danb986 In awe of VCDS

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    So many of these posts have made me laugh. Not for the fact that people are OCD about their cars (I'm the same to be honest), but just how they're worded. So many classic lines, like grr666's "I have cleaned many many a turd" :lmfao:.
    Maybe it's just my humour.

    Anyway, I'm with you all on this one. I always panic when I see a bird **** on my roof.
    And my wife laughs when I pull into a parking space only to drive out again if I don't like the look of the car next to me or the space looks a 'little tight'.
    I've tried parking in an empty edge of the car park, usually about a kilometer from the shop and any sort of nature, but when I return the whole area is still empty apart from the car full of child seats that's parked so close to me that I need to do a Matrix style manoeuvre to get back in the car.
    At work they've got used to the fact that I park right over the centre of the white line, so people can fling their doors open as far as they like and they can't reach me anymore.
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  23. The Governor
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    The Governor Active Member

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    I do the same :)

    I carry a spray bottle in the car with me and a roll of kitchen roll, that way if I spot anything I can get it off as quickly as possible...
    #22
  24. grr666
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    grr666 Member

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    Yup, I do that as well. My other half can't seem to get her
    head around why... But she looks good in a bikini so I tolerate it.
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  25. The Governor
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    The Governor Active Member

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    I do that too, mine has got used to it, she usually check before getting out now. Sometimes I'll park, turn the engine off, then rethink and move the car :D

    I always do a reach around.
    #24
  26. The Governor
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    The Governor Active Member

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    I do that too, mine has got used to it, she usually check before getting out now. Sometimes I'll park, turn the engine off, then rethink and move the car :D

    I always do a reach around.
    #25
  27. OVRA3
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    OVRA3 Well-Known Member

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    +1 late for a hospital appointment the other day and I drove around till I found an 'end' space!
    #26
  28. autolatry
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    autolatry Member

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    West Yorkshire birds.......... Full of toxic sh*t.
    #27
  29. danb986
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    danb986 In awe of VCDS

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    There's a car park in Watford where my brothers been round and found all the spaces that are slightly larger than others and will actually drive round and round until one becomes free. He has got an Aston so people seem to understand more.
    #28
  30. mjr901
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    mjr901 S3 Pollution Plus+ Edition

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    [Jul 20, 2013]
    +1 spray bottle and microfibres, wet wipes(kept in wheel well) for emergency use only.

    The other day a bird had shat through the flaming passenger window (must have left it open a crack whilst in the shop) and down the inside of the door card.

    Poop in the window runners aswell!!

    So I didn't even see the poo when I came back from taking the 'long way' around the car to get back to the drivers seat, and ofcourse never thought to look inside the damn thing for it.

    So we'd set off......immediately, I pulled over, Mrs couldn't believe I had to clean it there and then, emergency stash came out.

    I mean WTF, what are the chances??
    #29

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