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How would you handle this situation?

Discussion in 'Rants & Raves' started by Maz, Apr 6, 2008.

  1. Maz
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    Maz Moon is made of green cheese

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    Picture this...

    ...Popped into my local Tesco this morning and parked in my usual space which is the last bay after a number of "Parent & Child" spaces. Now, although it is in the same row and just as wide, it's just a regular bay. Whilst still in the car a BM pulls up next to me and the driver is glaring at me. Fair enough my car was gleaming but there is no need to hate.

    Anyway, I think nothing of it apart from Tosser and get out of the car. To my surprise the guy approaches me and says I don’t see a child in your car do you realise you have parked in a P&C bay. WTF, I'm thinking who are you to tell me where I can and cannot park but instead reply you need to get your facts right before you start preaching... shut up and get back in your car.

    That didn’t go down to well so he called me a C. I've done nowt wrong yet this mug wants to make an issue of it, I couldn't believe what I was hearing + his wife and kid were also present.

    This trivial situation could have turned nasty easily had I retaliated with force but instead told him I would rather be a C than a South African C and walked into the store and went about my business. You should have seen his face lol.

    Whilst returning to my car I was half expecting some damage but luckily not a single scratch + there is a horde of car washers on site so they would have seen anything had he tried it. One of the guys even commented on how foolish this bloke was and said I should have knocked him out. The thought did cross my mind for a split second but honestly some people…
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  3. richjohnhughes
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    richjohnhughes Member

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    dont worry about it mate - i ALWAY aprk there are the spaces are wide and its close. i always get funny looks. but so what! why shoud should i have to park miles away cos a havent got a baby!!!!!!
    #2
  4. karl7900
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    karl7900 Active Member

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    If his wife and child weren't there I would have had a go at him. Verbally or otherwise. But I think you did the right thing given the circumstances.
    #3
  5. voorhees
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    voorhees Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    I would of reversed my car to show the lack of Parent and Child markings and had the smuggest look in the world on my face but your response was adequate
    #4
  6. Maz
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    Maz Moon is made of green cheese

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    Vorhees, I thought about doing that but I couldnt be bothered, I hate shopping normally and wanted to get it out the way as quick as possible without wasting more time proving this ignorrant prat wrong.
    #5
  7. AndyMac
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    AndyMac Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    So we're not worried about someone using the "C" word in front of their child, but we are worried about using the term "south african". Interesting logic.
    Correct me if I'm wrong but calling a South African a South African is not generally considered offensive, and certainly isn't racist (unless he wasn't South African). Put the "C" word on the end and yes you have an offensive comment, but as he'd already used the term, then he can't really claim offence. Totally justified in my opinion.
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  8. HTC
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    HTC Active Member

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    Sounds to me like you started the argument.

    Yeah the guy shouldn't have been so abrupt, but you could have taken it on the chin and just explained that the space was a bit of an abmormality. I think most people would then apologise.

    My 2p anyway.
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  9. mattfinn
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    mattfinn Smoking is good for you

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
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  10. Randomjim
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    Randomjim Active Member

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    #9
  11. jojo
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    jojo Looking for Boost! Staff Member Moderator

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    This reminds me of a time when my brother inlaw parked in a child and parent space at Asda to pick some prescription for his kids. Scenario is, he didn't intend to park in a parent and child space, but a car had just reversed out, and he had his kids in the back(one is 6, the other is 9), so why not.... thing is, he got out the car on his own to get the prescription, which led to a woman getting out of her car giving him abuse! So he pointed into the car and said, my kids are in there, which shut her up lol. Question is, did he do anything wrong?
    #10
  12. marriedblonde
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    marriedblonde Moderator

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    "Fair enough my car was gleaming but there is no need to hate" Do you think if your car was dirty the guy wouldn't have said anything?

    Reading your post I'd say you brought it all upon yourself. "but instead reply you need to get your facts right before you start preaching... shut up and get back in your car. "

    When he approached you, you could have very easily just said it's not a P+C space but chose not to.

    J.
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  13. marriedblonde
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    marriedblonde Moderator

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    Yes he left a 6 and 9 year old child alone in car! I bet he wouldn't leave his wallet in the car when he parks up....
    #12
  14. jojo
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    jojo Looking for Boost! Staff Member Moderator

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    Totally understand where you are coming from MB, and wouldn't encourage it myself. It was one of those in and out moments where he was picking up an ordered prescription.... still no excuse huh?! :sadlike:
    #13
  15. auditek
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    auditek Member

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    agree with married blonde on both accounts, but if i was in work gear and a bad mood, i would probably stick the head in him, if no witnesses.....
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  16. Maz
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    Maz Moon is made of green cheese

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    [Apr 6, 2008]
    Sure he would have said something regardless of the show shine but at that point I didn’t know why he was staring at me...

    It’s fairly obvious which bays are for P&C and which are not IMO and I’m not just talking about the obvious pram markings they are also outlined with purple markings if memory serves me right.

    On reflection I could have been less harsh with my initial comment but this guy was in my face and I was seriously pissed off by this and was in no mood for niceties.
    #15
  17. marriedblonde
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    marriedblonde Moderator

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    [Apr 7, 2008]
    I'm not condemning you Maz, I'm extremely hot headed myself. It's very easy to sit here and take the high ground (well you did ask :) ) But when someone is being a turd at me I have this witty retort in my head, by the time it gets to my mouth it's change into "f%^K off you w$%ker" My english teacher would be proud...
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  18. AndyMac
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    AndyMac Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Apr 7, 2008]
    But it's totally legal to let a 9 year old walk to school on their own, so what's wrong with leaving them in a locked car 20 feet away from you?
    An opportunst thief will break a window, grab a wallet and leg it, very unlikely to try the same thing with a 9 year old, not quite so easy to run with!
    #17
  19. marriedblonde
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    marriedblonde Moderator

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    [Apr 7, 2008]
    Wallets don't unlook doors, whilst playing in a car.

    And your right kids never go missing do they...
    #18
  20. Jacko4130
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    Jacko4130 Goodie Gum Drops

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    [Apr 7, 2008]
    If i was in this situation i would have told the bloke to mind his own business, if he then called me a unt i would have dropped him there and then with out warning, i can't stand people who think they police car parks.
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  21. AndyMac
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    AndyMac Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Apr 7, 2008]
    Glad you agree, 9 year olds are never taken from a locked car in a busy car park. Far easier ways to swipe a child than in front of witnesses and CCTV camera's in a Tesco car park. "Child locks" the clue's in the name!
    #20
  22. tjm69
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    tjm69 Member

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    [Apr 8, 2008]
    "Daddy whats a C*** and why did that man punch you in the head"
    tempting has it was you did right by walking off
    #21
  23. clcollins
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    clcollins Member

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    [Apr 9, 2008]
    You have to walk away from pricks like him, I know it's difficult to do but it's the only course of action. I got in to something similar last summer, I didn't walk away, the result was arrested, 12 hours in the cells, 3 months of worry whilst the CPS decided what to do with me, and eventually a Police caution!
    #22
  24. R14AYN
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    R14AYN Driving like it was stolen

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    [Apr 9, 2008]
    I would have laughed right in his face; told him I take pity on his wife and child, that swearing is rude then told him to have a nice day now!! His entire day would be ruined. Then shouted from a safe distance that it’s not a P&C space anyway.
    #23
  25. Just Plain Old
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    Just Plain Old Active Member

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    [Apr 10, 2008]
    I'm intrigued to know on what basis supermarkets consider parents (or guardians or designated persons,, or other transgender species, etc etc) with kids deserving of better treatment than other shoppers......??
    #24
  26. marriedblonde
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    marriedblonde Moderator

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    [Apr 10, 2008]
    Do you know how child locks even work? Child locks stop the kid in the BACK of the car getting out. Not someone outside opening the door. And before you try to educate me on how you need the door handle to unlock it and it wont work with a child lock activated do you honestly think a kid left a lone in the car is going to stay sat in the back? By 4 years old they can undo their child seats/seat belts.

    As for CCTV in super market car parks good luck with that, as anyone who has ever had their car damaged/broken into/stolen will tell you they either dont have it, it only covers a very small area or isn't working.

    So using your rationale cars parked in supermarket car parks never get stolen or broken into? I mean busy, CCTV etc it never happens...
    #25
  27. James243
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    James243 ___

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    [Apr 10, 2008]
    I know exactly where your coming from - cant stand car park police ! Most of them cant aim their car between the white lines anyways, at least I park in the middle of two spaces !
    Id have re-parked the car accross two p&c spaces - but then Im very immature ...
    #26
  28. AndyMac
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    AndyMac Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [Apr 11, 2008]
    Broken into yes, the opportunist will always smash & grab if they can see something worth taking. Not too many opportunist kidnappers out there, willing to man handle a 9 year old screaming & shouting in front of busy shoppers (thankfully).
    They don't actually care if the CCTV is working or not as they consider it's a trivial crime that they know will be impossible to prove even if caught on video. Kidnapping is slightly different. Not too many SatNavs left on a deserted pavement, but plenty of 9 year olds walking home from school.
    "Child locks stop the kid in the BACK of the car getting out. Not someone outside opening the door. And before you try to educate me on how you need the door handle to unlock it and it wont work with a child lock activated"
    So that was a bit of a waste of typing then wasn't it? - why even mention it as you answered your own question mid sentence?
    I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old and I find a bit of discipline works a treat to stop them trampling all over the car as soon as my back is turned.
    #27
  29. marriedblonde
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    marriedblonde Moderator

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    [Apr 11, 2008]
    Personally I wont be leaving my child in the car whilst I go shopping. Not worth the risk.

    As for discipline, aren't children are supposed to be mischievous it's part and parcel of being a child. They get bored, they play, it encouragous them to use their imagination.

    I can't imagine I was ever able to sit in a car for even a short period of time as a young child.

    But good for you your children never get bored and play up. You must be proud.
    #28
  30. Macduff
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    Macduff Member

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    [May 30, 2008]
    It's simple. If you have kids in car seats you have to open the doors wide to get them in and out. If you're in a normal space some to$$er will park right next to you (even with the child on board signs visible) so you can't get them into the car. So what do you do? Put the car seat on the ground or make a toddler stand unattended while you have to reverse out to make space? I don't think so.

    If you don't understand the above then you're probably not a parent.

    Once kids are old enough to walk safely and understand not to throw open doors then the parent should be using a normal space (but they don't).

    I almost never use a disabled space but I will if all the P&C spaces are taken as there are always far too many disabled spaces (planning regs decide on number I believe).
    #29
  31. Steve_N
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    Steve_N Derv Power

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    [May 30, 2008]
    Totally agree, i went to the local ASDA when my daughter was only 4 month old and all the P&C spaces where full so i parked in an ordinary space. When i got back the cars either side had parked so close even i struggled to get in, never mind a car seat. So instead of leaving her on the floor in the seat i had to put her in the boot( open of course) while i reversed out to open the door and put her in. Then i got grief of some bloke because i was blocking the car park and he couldnt get through, no win situation.
    #30
  32. unkle
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    unkle Beer God

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    [Jun 1, 2008]
    I'm quite a mellow person, I would of played it cool and explained that it wasnt a parent + child bay, lack of markings etc etc. You probably annoyed the guy as much as he annoyed you (not your fault of course, but thats the situation you found yourself in), in his view you had parked in a bay reserved for people daft enough to bring kids along with them. If he'd of continued giving you grief I'd of spoken to his wife, asked her what she thought about it. Im not a big fan of swear words, my very first boss was a hard as nails bloke from Bolton, he had a rule of not swearing infront of women which Ive sort of taken on myself so I'd of pulled the bloke up on that straight away.

    Obviously he was wrong, but you dont fight a fire with fire.

    IMHO.
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  33. NHN
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    NHN Retrofitter - Audi - VW - Skoda - Seat Site Sponsor VCDS Map User

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    [Jun 2, 2008]
    I think J is right TBH about leaving kids in car, its a no no full stop, these days I still find it unbelievable how totally stupid some parents can be with there kids & wonder why they even think of doing these things, I would never leave a kid in the car except maybe when filling up with gas, but even then I would maybe still grab my kid out, you just never know, everyday we see more news of kids being taken, surely this makes people think about it, I mean look at the Maddie girl, what were they thinking of leaving her in the place by herself, how utterly stupid could you be, you dont have kids to be so careless, not saying its there fault atall but still, it was unforgiveable.

    As for calling him a SA C..., thats not racist at all, he did set the precident for calling you a C.... but I would have just said ok mate, come here, look at the markings, now whose the C... then, I think you owe me an apology.

    That word is vile & for him to use it on front of his wife shows his mentality.

    I lived in SA for a year & I dated a SA woman for nearly 3 years, some of the afrikaans can be very hot tempered, if it was an afrikaans that is, sounds like he was, not labelling all of them like him but trust me I know what they are like, I had my ex birds dad stick an automatic towards my head one night cause he didnt like my opinion of a situation, it wasnt even a heated discussion either, got out of there in 10 minutes flat, lol, lol.

    But anyway child lock or no child lock, it only takes seconds to grab a kid(not I've done it myself), lets be honest, is it worth it for a lifetime of pain & anguish/regret just so you dont have to take your kid in with you, I certainly couldnt live with myself if it happened.

    You could have taken the higher road, but then again you go to Tesco's & someone calls you that word it does make you very angry especially when you are not in the wrong, so uurrrm until it happens to me I wouldnt like to say which was best TBH

    But the mentality of people amazes me, I was driving down a street other day, woman stops in middle of road to turn into a lane, she had a huge Toyota LandCruiser & they are massive & starts telling me I was speeding, I was like so you can see my speedo from where you were sitting 200 metres away from the opposite direction & she had the audacity to call me up on my speed when she was parked in the middle of the left/right lanes, how fecking dare she, cheeky bitch, I have to admit I did tell her to feck of you stuck up cow as she just didnt wanna listen to her own highway code mistakes, I mean its like a total contradiction, you cant criticise a driver if you are driving badly yourself, no??? Anyone??

    Talk about the words kettle & black.
    #32
  34. buckas
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    buckas Member

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    [Jun 10, 2008]
    same :icon_thumright:
    #33
  35. Oranoco
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    Oranoco Well-Known Member

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    [Jun 10, 2008]
    I always go to the third floor of our local multistory as the spaces are wider. I'm sick to the back teeth of inconsiderate arse holes banging there doors against my car.

    Was at Tesco a couple of years ago in my old estate and whilst walking back to the car the woman parked next to me was stood gassing on her phone whilst her little brat was rattling her wad of keys on the side of my car. She looked genuinely puzzled when I pulled her up on it.
    #34
  36. denzelburner
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    denzelburner Member

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    [Nov 5, 2008]
    I know I'm opening an old thread, but couldn't belive that some lady had the cheek to have a go at me for parking in a disabled bay, as i didn't have a blue sticker. This was as i was assembling a wheel chair for my mate with a broken leg and ankle. Where else am i supposed to park, and I didn't realise that you had to have a blue badge in these carparks as it is not on public highway so therefore not open to the same rules?

    Also, saw an appaling lack of respect last week when a battered astra drove up into a carpark space in front of me, and both driver and passenger just swung the doors open into the cars next to them! Unfortunately the owners of the cars took ages, so I left a note on the windscreen for them giving the polish registration of the car. I just couldn't belive the indifference of their attitude.
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  37. HAWKEYE
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    HAWKEYE IT CANT RAIN ALL THE TIME

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    [Nov 6, 2008]
    Goes to show the general public's over-reaction to something even if its in their face! My mum has Parkinson's disease, three times I have been with her and shes parked in a disabled bay ( she has a blue badge ) and had a complete cock claim shes not disabled cause she was walking!! How I've kept myself calm and not responded by smacking them.:nunu:
    #36
  38. L60N
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    L60N Guest

    [Nov 14, 2008]
    Its easy to sit here and say "well i would have reacted calmly by telling him to move on and have a nice day"etc etc, but in the moment things arnt always quite so clear :p

    Reading it through my initial reaction was "well i would have said calmly, not to get worked up, this is a public bay" but in truth, i'd have probably warned him to STFU and move on."
    #37
  39. benr
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    benr Member

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    [Dec 17, 2008]
    Shocking

    TBH i cant stand when people do as above. Just shows a lack of respect and IMO laziness. It really is hard taking children shopping, and some people dont have a choice to leave them at home

    Im quite picky about where i park, usually next to nothing or a nice well looked after car but never is a designated spot for the needy.

    If you saw a woman struggling to carry her pram up some stairs, would you help or would you think "why should i help cos a havent got a baby!!!!!!"?
    #38
  40. Caesium
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    Caesium My BM is fixed!

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    [Dec 19, 2008]
    I always park in the parent and child spaces, having a child is not a disability so why should they get special treatment?

    If someone called me a c#*t over that, i would reply unless you want your wife and child to see you get beaten unconscious I suggest you jog on.
    There is absolutely no need to escalate a situation like that into something personal.

    A couple of pals of mine would not have even said anything, and the guy would have been eating his food through a straw for a couple of weeks.
    #39
  41. richs2891
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    richs2891 I cant spell !

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    [Dec 19, 2008]
    Good point with the parking size, - Costco for example have decent sized parking places in the open air car parks anyway. Can open the doors easy there without hitting the next car !
    Dont mind leaving my car there - but I did have to tell an old guy to re park his pile of scrap - ideally straight in the parking place & not at 45% as I told him that if there where any dents or dints I would know he had done them & would wait and get him to pay for them !

    Richard
    #40

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