1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Hell hath no fury....

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by jdp1962, Mar 17, 2005.

  1. jdp1962
    Online

    jdp1962 Grumpy Old Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    May 26, 2003
    Messages:
    6,334
    Likes Received:
    1,051
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    Curtain Rods

    She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

    On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

    On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

    When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

    Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

    Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...

    Repairmen refused to work in the house... The maid quit...

    Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

    A month later, even though they had cut their pr ice in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

    Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

    The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

    Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

    A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    ..... including the curtain rods.

    I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU
    #1
  2. imported_unkle
    Offline

    imported_unkle Guest

  3. DaveACQ20v
    Offline

    DaveACQ20v Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2004
    Messages:
    429
    Likes Received:
    0
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    quality /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bravo.gif
    #3
  4. TDI-line
    Offline

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2004
    Messages:
    9,059
    Likes Received:
    39
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    Women, can't live with them, can't live without them ! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif
    #4
  5. CJ A4
    Offline

    CJ A4 Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    0
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    Ahhhhh yeah women really are cleverer at times.....they will always try to get you in the long grass! BEWARE and BE WARNED!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/devil.gif
    #5
  6. CJ A4
    Offline

    CJ A4 Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    0
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    Ah TDI i see you have joined me as a newbie on St Paddies day ....Top of da mornin to ya mucker! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/beerchug.gif
    #6
  7. TDI-line
    Offline

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2004
    Messages:
    9,059
    Likes Received:
    39
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    Maybe we should just think <font color="pink"> </font> pink (NSD) thoughts and be /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jump.gif. Staying one step ahead of the venomous asps.

    Maybe not. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif
    #7
  8. CJ A4
    Offline

    CJ A4 Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    0
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    be /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jump.gif on your own mate i have a kid on the way and the world is Fecked up enough without the poor nipper having a mum and a /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jump.gif daddy /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
    #8
  9. TDI-line
    Offline

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2004
    Messages:
    9,059
    Likes Received:
    39
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    Top of da evening to ya CJ, heres a quick Patricks day joke.

    Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk !!
    #9
  10. CJ A4
    Offline

    CJ A4 Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    0
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif good one me old mucker
    #10
  11. TDI-line
    Offline

    TDI-line Uber Post Whore

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2004
    Messages:
    9,059
    Likes Received:
    39
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jump.gifdad, thats /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
    #11
  12. CJ A4
    Offline

    CJ A4 Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    0
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jump.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif
    #12
  13. fallmonk
    Offline

    fallmonk Turbo Sport

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,863
    Likes Received:
    4
    [Mar 17, 2005]
    Brill mate ,
    never EVER mess with woman , you will never win!
    #13

Share This Page