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Golden Oldies

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by necroeire, Feb 15, 2006.

  1. necroeire

    necroeire Active Member

    Feb 19, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night; I dreamt
    you got run over by a bus and I pi*s*s*ed myself laughing'.

    A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust
    bigger. He said 'try rubbing toilet paper between your t*i*ts; it's worked
    for youÂ’re a*r*se'.

    My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having s*e*x
    with his patients; it's a real shame because he's a really good vet.

    Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale cl*i*toris
    licking frog' she goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour

    Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much,
    it scared the s**t out of me. So today I decided I'm never reading

    Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's
    you mum like?' Little girl replies 'Big c*o*cks and vodka'.

    A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks 'Can you settle an argument
    for us and pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?' The waitress leaned
    over and said ........ 'Burrr gurrr king'.

    Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack. Ann walks into the office, boss
    say's I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off....Ann says 'You
    better jack off, I've got a headache'.

    Larry la Prise who wrote the hokey cokey has died aged 93. The
    worst part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in,
    then the trouble started.

    Paul McCartney poem-: We lay upon the grassy bank, my hands were
    all a quiver, I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the

    Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital to
    have a dangerous mole removed from his pen*i*s...... he won't be
    one of those again!

    It's important to keep fit as you get older; my granny started
    walking 5 kilometres a day when she was 60. Today she's 97 and we don't
    know where the hell she is!

    Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of
    tinsel.... They say it's only for the Christmas period.

    A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her
    Pu*s*s*y. Doc say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's just
    the tip of the iceberg!

    Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite,
    the receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?' The bride answers
    'Yes, I won't take it up the a*r*se'
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  3. hop2407

    hop2407 Active Member

    Oct 14, 2004
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    Yep - the old ones are the best aint they ? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_2.gif
  4. The Slug

    The Slug Active Member

    Nov 4, 2004
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  5. Broken Byzan

    Broken Byzan Photographic Moderator
    Staff Member Moderator VCDS Map User quattro Audi A4

    Apr 26, 2004
    Likes Received:
    The last one reminds me of the Mrs,lol lol

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