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Funny

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by , Jun 1, 2003.

  1. neversaydie
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    neversaydie Post Whore

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    German guy approaches a prost!tute. "I vish to buy s*x vit you". "OK"
    says
    the girl, "I'll charge ?80 an hour".

    "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little k!nky". "No problem" she
    replies cautiously, "I can do a little k!nky".

    So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large
    bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your
    limbs".

    The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her
    hands and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans und knees"

    She duly does this, balancing on the springs. "You vill please blow zis
    vistle as I make love to you." She finds this odd, but figures it's
    harmless, and the guy is paying.
    The s*x is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic
    German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

    The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced,and it is
    several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say: "That was
    totally amazing, what do you call that?"




    "Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique".


    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/beerchug.gif
    #1
  2. Add7
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    Add7 Member

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    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif
    #2
  3. S3tony
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    S3tony Member

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    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh_roll.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
    /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/beerchug.gif
    #3
  4. jojo
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    jojo S3 Drift King! Staff Member Moderator

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    Nice one! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
    #4
  5. dickys3
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    dickys3 Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    That was a joke from Ronin! Funny though!
    #5
  6. MarkS3
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    MarkS3 Member

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    i Thought it was from "lock stock and two smoking barrels" on the end of the vid
    #6
  7. EvilTad
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    EvilTad Member

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    I thought it was funny, so sent it round my office, and have been ripped for sending "old" jokes.

    NeverSayDie is completely to blame /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gifp
    #7
  8. Online

    Guest

    Can't really book, it was a one-off by invitation from BMW GB (so that was presumably why you didn't get an invitation, Ashok, as you have an import).

    The only blown car that Gareth and I was, according to the owner, a late 2001 car, so possibly one of the ill-fated November 2001 build cars. I don't know about the other two. My car was pushed very hard all day, as Gareth will probably attest (not because of any skill on my part, but because I just went for it), and my only problem was some brake fade and vibration by the end of the day (after five sessions).
    #8
  9. Danielson
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    Danielson Member

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    that was really good, nice one..
    #9
  10. amoffat
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    amoffat Member

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    Also had a great day, good to meet a few of you. Real bummer for those people who's engines blew, especially the buy who had "borrowed" his car from a friend, who had already sold the car. The new owner was to pick the car up on monday..... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/nono.gif
    I was also dissappointed that the CSL was not open. Quite a few sticky fingerprints on the car by the end of the day. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blowme.gif

    My "interesting" moment came on the third session when I felt a knocking while taking right hand corners. I quickly (but slowly /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ohmy.gif) went back to the paddock and managed to grab one of the BMW technicians. They managed to find the cause of the noise, one of the technicians spotted that my offside rear wheel was loose /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif and the nearside rear wouldn't do up to the correct torque. In the end they took one bolt of each of their own (BMW GB's) cars and replaced my wheel lug nuts! I tried to convince them to give me the nuts off the CSL /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bowdown.gif but they wouldn't /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif Not sure I would fancy driving home with four out of five wheelnuts!

    The problem with the wheel nuts coming loose was that because my wheels had been refurbished, some paint from the wheels had got inside the wheel hub and prevented the nuts from doing up. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stickpoke.gif

    An excellent (but expensive) day in all, apart from loosing one session in the morning because the scruitineering took longer than anticipated. They did make up the time by extending the afternoon sessions but I found that my brakes where shot after 15-20 mins anyway so 25 mins was pointless.
    #10
  11. toasty
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    toasty Member

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    [ QUOTE ]
    They managed to find the cause of the noise, one of the technicians spotted that my offside rear wheel was loose and the nearside rear wouldn't do up to the correct torque.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    That's one thing I forgot to mention in the Track Day Editorial, I always check my wheel nuts using a torque wrench the night before a trackday. I set mine at around 95 lbs (14 Nm) which gives me just that little bit of extra confidence when braking into Stowe at 130mph.. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
    #11
  12. bb_s3
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    bb_s3 New Member

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    130 mph ? Must have been taking it easy then /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
    #12
  13. Online

    Guest

    I couldn't get over 130 there, even with Elf Racing Fuel. I was not the quickest driver on the circuit by a long way, but I would be surprised if anyone got much more speed out of it. My second instructor did a couple of laps to demonstrate some points to me and he didn't get much over 130 either.
    #13
  14. dickys3
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    dickys3 Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    [ QUOTE ]
    MarkS3 said:
    i Thought it was from "lock stock and two smoking barrels" on the end of the vid

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Thats the one... I knew I heard it somewhere. Yeah it involved a dwarf with a suitcase who put them on his legs and arms and bounced up and down...

    Hillarious!
    Rich
    #14
  15. Online

    Guest

    ...makes you appreciate the astonishing speed of the F1 cars around Silverstone /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bowdown.gif I guess they must get close to 200mph on the Hanger straight. Did anyone go flat out around Copse /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif?
    #15
  16. SteveS3
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    SteveS3 New Member

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    I prefer the look of the standard car also Steve, its a classic.

    Neil.
    #16

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