"Ya know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home.In Glasgow there's a wonderful little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there goes outof his way for the locals, so much that when you buy 4 drinks he'll buy the5th drink for you." "Well", said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2." "Ahhhhh, that's nothing", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin theres Ryan's Bar. - Now, the moment you set foot in the place theyll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when youve had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid - all on the house". The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims. But he swears every word is true. "Well," said the Englishman "did this actually happen to you?" "Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman ... "... but it did happen to me sister."