WHO JACK SCHITT REALLY IS - The Lineage Revealed Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate married Oh Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep Schitt. Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holle Schitt, the twins - Deep and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt. Against his parents objections Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married for fifteen years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a weakling son - Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in a double ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. Now, when someone says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.