This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired, and is currently suing the WordPerfect organisation for "Termination without cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee, with a caller:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away? Hmm... so what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing. It's blank and won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Nevermind, can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't a cursor, I told you, It won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it is on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then take a look in the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into. Can you see that?"
"Yes I think so."
"Great, follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall, and tell me if there are two cables plugged into the back of the monitor?"
"Yes it is plugged into the wall and there is another cable."
"Follow it for me and tell me if it is plugged into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach it, it is not because of the angle, I can't see because it is dark. The office light is off and the only light I have coming in is from the window."
"Well turn the office light on."
"I can't because there's a power outage."
"A power...A power outage? Ah, Okay, We've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes, the manuals and the packaging stuff the computer came in?"
"Well, yes I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you brought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad? What do I tell them at the store?"
"Tell them you are too stupid to own a computer."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee, with a caller:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away? Hmm... so what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing. It's blank and won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Nevermind, can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't a cursor, I told you, It won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it is on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then take a look in the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into. Can you see that?"
"Yes I think so."
"Great, follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall, and tell me if there are two cables plugged into the back of the monitor?"
"Yes it is plugged into the wall and there is another cable."
"Follow it for me and tell me if it is plugged into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach it, it is not because of the angle, I can't see because it is dark. The office light is off and the only light I have coming in is from the window."
"Well turn the office light on."
"I can't because there's a power outage."
"A power...A power outage? Ah, Okay, We've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes, the manuals and the packaging stuff the computer came in?"
"Well, yes I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you brought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad? What do I tell them at the store?"
"Tell them you are too stupid to own a computer."
